Shameless

Jesus Christ! What do you want?

Man, I've had, like, two hours of sleep

in the last six months.

You want me to tell you what happened last week

on Shameless?

I don't even remember my own name, for Christ's sake.

Get out of here.

Hey, was waffling an admission of guilt

out of that guy without a lawyer present

ethical or whatever?

Our job isn't law or ethics. It's justice.

That guy was running away from the cops,

and he admitted guilt... end of story.

So I was thinking I'm gonna change out the windows,

and, I was actually gonna replace 'em

with double glaze, anyway.

We gotta stop hemorrhaging money.

I gotta get a picture for Little Miss South Side.

Look how beautiful you are.

My girls have Little Miss South Side

written all over their faces.

You got a boner?

No, that's my money roll.

Can we have it?

You two need

to pay someone security for your daily cash run.

So pay me 25 percent of your gross profits,

I'll do it for you.

Security and armed transport from the bar to the bank.

I think we should do it.

How about don't be a little bitch,

and you get to keep your job?

I'm not anybody's bitch.

Rock music.

Think of all the luck you got.

Know that it's not for naught.

You were beaming once before.

But it's not like that anymore.

What is this downside.

That you speak of?

What is this feeling.

You're so sure of?

Round up the friends you got.

Know that they're not for naught.

You were willing once before.

But it's not like that anymore.

What is this downside.

That you speak of?

What is this feeling.

You're so sure of?

Hey, come on!

Hey, look.

Our new neighbors came to welcome us,

even my pansy former son and his stink-dick boyfriend.

I guess the city must've made good on their threat

to condemn our old house.

That or the meth lab caught fire again.

Well, what are they doing here, though?

Terry's been banging the lady who owns this place

for a couple of years.

Calls it his plan B.

Mrs. McCurdy? She's, like, 90.

Gotta do what you gotta do, man.

What's that smell?

That's the stench of abject poverty, son.

Sickening, isn't it?

Actually, I think it might be those chickens.

No, those ain't chickens.

Those are cocks. Like, for cockfighting?

- Fighting chickens? - They like it.

If they don't die.

It's natural for 'em. You know, it's fun.

We have to move.

I don't wanna be the reason

for the next Black Lives Matter march.

I'll get Trayvon Martin-ed for sure if we stay here.

Jesus!

! - -Why's he shooting

- random shit? - Aw...

He's playing "I Spy, You Shoot."

"I Spy, You Shoot"?

It's a kids' game.

Yeah, kid says, "I spy with my little eye"

"that red stop sign," or whatever,

and then the adult

shoots the stop sign.

Get off your fucking high horses.

Anybody here feel like they're the product

of good parenting, raise your hand.

Okay, I don't have time for this shit.

I gotta get Franny ready.

Where is Franny?

Fuck it, just dump the used motor oil in the yard.

So I was thinking we could go check out

that street racing club

at the abandoned over on Fulton.

Maybe get into a high-speed car chase.

Ooh, maybe we could stake out the First Federal,

stop a bank robbery in progress.

Or we can infiltrate the Mafia,

take down the Bajio Family from the inside.

Or we down a couple of these bad boys,

do all of the above.

Hey.

You know, I'm starting to like you, Gallagher.

Most rooks can't hang,

but it's like police work is sex

and you've been poppin' Viagra all day.

You hard right now, aren't you?

I'm very hard right now, ma'am.

Fully erect for police work.

Got a 28-05 on Benson

in front of the La Chiquita.

Twenty-eight-five? What's that?

Assault? Human trafficking?

Shots fired.

It's loitering.

Hit it, Billie.

Franny.

Rock music.

I did my hair.

My God!

Again with the back splatter?

Backsplash.

So, um

any interest in brunch?

Are we brunch people now?

An old teacher of mine invited us.

You're friends with an old teacher?

Mr. Hanisian.

He just moved back from St. Louis.

I don't know.

Wasting the rest of the morning

eating pastries with some old dude

who taught you, what, pre-algebra?

- History? Creative writing? - Music.

Great, maybe he can teach us

how to play "Hot Cross Buns" on the recorder.

So is that a no?

Brunch is a scam. You know that, right?

Marketers literally just made up a fourth meal,

and we're all supposed to go along with it?

Okay.

Well, he really wanted to meet you,

but I'll just tell him

that you're too big of an asshole to come.

Everything you wanted

I gave you it...

Well, that must be our perp.

- The loosie lady? - Know her?

Yeah, she been selling squares out here forever.

- Is that illegal? - Gotta have a license.

Look like she has a license to you?

Hey there, Officer. Something I can get you?

I got menthol and regular.

We're not buying. We just...

Gallagher.

Any relation to Lip?

Yeah, he's my brother.

He used to be my best customer.

I haven't seen that handsome face in a month of Sundays.

- Did he get busted again? - No, he actually had a baby.

Them newborn babies is bad for business.

- Hey. - So look, unfortunately...

Y'all still live over there by the Washingtons?

You know the Washingtons?

Ooh, yeah, we used to...

Fucking move your ass!

I catch you selling out here again,

I'm busting your ass, and I'm taking you in.

Okay! Miss June respects the police.

Yes, she does.

All lives matter.

Blue lives. Them blue lives matter.

Especially them blue lives.

I was doing it.

Could've fooled me.

It's me, dickhead.

By the way...

Hey, what you doin' today?

"It's me, dickhead,"

or just "me, dickhead"?

Yo...

Ian.

I'm just trying to find the strength

to get off the couch and search for another

minimum-wage, dead-end, soul-crushing job

to appease my parole officer.

Yeah, well... what if I offer you a job?

As what, getaway car driver?

Come on, weed money security for the Alibi.

It's your lucky day, bitch.

- Come on. - Yeah, thanks but no, thanks.

Fuck you. Why not?

I'm not doing anything illegal.

Weed's legal now.

Look, stop eating your weight in Froot Loops.

Go get dressed.

Go on.

I don't think it's a good idea for us to work together.