Futurama

Mom on deck! Ten... ho!

All right, grunts, here's your pre-mission pep talk.

Shootanyone who doesn't obey hard enough.

But...

Stop gaining knowledge, Hubert.

It's a simple mission.

The grunts catch the alien, the surgeon guts it,

and you smuggle the poison parts back here.

Uh, something about poison, got it.

By the way, that surgeon, where is he?

You! Where's the butcher?

Ma'am, I don't know, ma'am. His duffel bag arrived.

It's not a duffel bag. It's my apartment!

Hubert, meet John zoidberg.

You need an alien hacked to pieces, he's the best there is,

in the budget category.

Have you ever dissected a yeti before?

Himalayan or neptunian?

Tritonian.

A tritonian yeti?

You two aren't up to anything unethical, are you?

Relax.

There's nothing unethical aboutcovefl biological weapons research.

I said, "relax!"

Ooh! Ooh!

Ah, zoidberg, we've known each other so long that sometimes

I don't think we even need words to understand each other.

What?

Once and for all, fry,

even though it's the future, most objects are still just objects,

not aliens who look like objects.

So my efforts to establish diplomatic relations

with the cactus people were doomed from the start.

So you're in pain and have a bunch of needles?

I prescribe acupuncture. Let's begin.

Blood?

I mean, blood.

Put it back in me!

I'm afraid fry lost a lot ofjuice.

He's developed Simpsons jaundice.

A y, caramba!

His only hope is some replacement liver.

Yours looks like a good match.

Well, if it'll help fry...

Careful, Leela! He knows less about human anatomy than I do.

And I can't even find my own uterus.

You may feel a slight sawing.

And all we need is a little spine supplement

to replace what Leela lost in that unavoidable saw mix-up.

It wasn't unavoidable.

You just had to stop cutting my spine when I yelled,

"stop, you're cutting my spine!"

Fry: Quit complaining!

My body rejected your liver, and now I've got Garfield syndrome.

Oh, I hate mondays.

Anyhow, hermes, all Leela needs is one of your vertebrae.

But, doctor, will I be able to limbo aftennards?

Could you limbo before?

Wait. I say, "yes," and you say, "I couldn't limbo before."

You ruined the joke, hermes.

There you go, Leela. Good as new!

Whoa! Whoa!

Oh. Sure, Leela's fine,

but my jaundice has progressed to muppet gangrene!

It's not easy being gangrenous.

I thought you were only gonna take out one vertebra!

Yeah, but did you ever play jenga?

Sometimes you pull one and...

Yeah, well, I'm not staying like this.

I can't believe it.

Mmm. What started out as a pleasant afternoon of drugs and surgery

has not gone as planned.

But don't worry,

we still have three or four co-workers with plenty of spare parts.

My first mission. I'm so excited.

And after I dissect the yeti's poison glands,

we can stop, maybe, for ice cream on the way back?

With sprinkles on?

Why, you're just a big kid, aren't you, zoidberg?

A very big kid!

We're over the drop zone, gentlemen.

Might I suggest you jump out the door and poop yourselves?

Aah!

So anyway, I hope the men have been taking their hyper-malaria pills.

Their what?

"Their what?"

That's funny, like a crazy old man.

But you know what's not funny?

Deadly tritonian hyper-malaria.

Just be sure to stay out of the methane swamps.

What smells like methane?

My god! I've never seen such a gruesome shark attack.

Especially this far inland.

It wasn't a shark. It was an awful, incompetent doctor.

Wow, he must've been a total zoidberg.

It was zoidberg!

He brutalized us with power tools, gypsy curses and hypnosis.

Yes, master.

You'll all get through this. I give you my word as a real doctor.

What about me?

What did he do to you?

I don't know exactly, but I'm incontinent.

I'm truly sorry.

I consider myself a reasonable man.

Quick with a joke, slow to anger.

But bender can't go on long car trips anymore,

and I say zoidberg must die.

People, please. Let's not overreact...

Death to the crab!

How bad is it, doctor?

Superbad. It's tritonian hyper-malaria.

A lot of these men will be dead within 24 hours.

What? Not you, though.

You'll make a complete recovery

and go on to marry a supermodel!

Funny plague, hyper-malaria.

It can kill immediately, or lie dormant for decades.

But sooner or later, it erupts,

causing fever, spasms, madness, coma, and finally death.

What?

Supermodel!

Oh! Those poor, doomed bastards.

I guess it's up to me to complete the mission.

I'll be in the swamp, blowing the smirk off a toxic yeti.

Professor, we need to talk, man-to-mob.

We've had it with zoidberg! We demand you fire him!

Nonsense. Zoidberg's a fine physician, for aliens.

Your mistake is being humans.

No, if I'm going to fire anyone, it'll be scruffy.

You can't do that.

Over my dead body!

Don't you get it, old man?

Thanks to Dr. Scissorhands, I wet myself every time I laugh.

It's not funny!

Well, I guess it is kind of funny.

Oh-oh.

Why are you protecting zoidberg, professor?

Do you owe him something?

Is he blackmailing you somehow?

What does he have on you?

Why have you kept him around all these years

when he's so grossly incompetent?

Long ago, zoidberg and I entered into a secret arrangement

relating to certain extraordinary events too horrible to reveal.

So there's nothing to be curious about.

Oh!

Stop, or I'll shoot!

Zoidberg?

You can't hunt a yeti by yourself, sir. It's suicidal!

So what? I'm going to die of hyper-malaria, anyway.

I was in the same swamp as the rest of the men.

Just because you were in the swamp doesn't necessarily mean...

I was thirsty from the flight. I drank swamp water.

Look, zoidberg, you're a loyal friend.

"Friend"?

But I'm doomed!

I might as well capture a yeti and die trying.

Then you'll need someone to dissect it, friend.

Go, Johnny! Go! That's an order!

Neveh zoidberg doesn't abandon a friend, apparently.

I'll save us by scaring him off with my crazy war noise.

Crunch all you want. I'll make more.

Oy. I lost another one.

Zoidberg, I'm sorry to break it to you this way,

but we hate you and we never wanna see you again.