Recipe for Love

Next.

Next.

What's today's special, Mrs. Leslie?

Mock-suey in a brown sauce with soggy noodles.

What's it really made out of?

Honey, I have no idea.

Next.

My office, Hennessey.

Now.

So, half the student body reads this drivel

in the school newspaper,

and then they won't touch a thing.

Hey, I'm just writing the truth.

Don't be insolent with me, young lady.

Don't you have

better things to do with your time?

I'm preparing for culinary school in Paris

like Julia Child.

You have the brains to go to medical school

or law school someday.

Why do you want to waste your time

slaving over a hot stove?

Because it's what I love.

From this moment on,

your column, "School Lunch Confidential,"

is shut down.

But that's my access to free speech…

Maybe it will teach you not to abuse the privilege.

Now go back to class.

A bit of advice,

girls with smart mouths don't get far in life.

They just get into trouble.

Good day.

Now, Lauren.

How many days on prime rib?

31.

At two per day, that's…

496 pounds of standing rib roast,

380 pounds of onions, 273 pounds of potatoes…

Okay, slow down.

You were supposed to be off this recipe a week ago.

But I want it to be perfect.

Perfection is a disease.

It only exists in a climate-controlled lab,

not in the home kitchen.

Now, you have been

crying every day for the past month.

Is it the onions, or is it the job?

I'm happy here, Denise, really.

It's giving me great experience,

and I'm saving up for culinary school.

Okay, good,

because I tasted yesterday's prime rib's,

and it was out-of-this-world.

Come with me.

Walk with me, talk with me.

Dexter Durant, do you ever watch this guy?

I prefer shows that are about food.

He's selling sex and hair product.

Mm-hmm.

So, let's jazz it out with my firehouse chili…

This was Dexter's audition video

for The Ultimate Star Chef Classic Competition.

Start with some ramps.

Ramps?

What home chef has access to ramps?

Just say "leeks."

This is exactly the type of overwrought,

complicated-for-no-reason cooking

that I can't stand.

But he does have a book deal with our corporate parent.

Unfortunately,

we have not been able to get a page out of him.

He has fired three ghostwriters,

blown off two publication dates.

Sounds like a train wreck.

I want to pair him with someone

who knows how to write and test recipes.

I have been reading

your food blog, Lauren,

and I've been watching your work around here.

I think you would make a wonderful ghost writer.

Denise, I'm flattered, but…

We want social media involved,

and your blog is already plugged into that world.

You are the perfect choice on so many levels.

Ghostwriting is a thankless job.

Besides,

there are people far more experienced than me.

I really appreciate it,

but I have to pass.

If the book gets published, there is a $25,000 bonus.

Last time I checked,

that would pay for your first year at Cordon Bleu.

That is my dream.

I've always wanted to study in Paris,

just like Julia Child…

Julia Child. I know.

You remind me every morning.

So, is that a yes?

Let's!

Get!

Cooking!

Let's get cooking!

Let's get cooking.

Ladies and gentlemen,

from Studio 29

in the heart of San Francisco, California,

put your hands together

for your Bay City Chef,

Dexter Durant!

Let's get cooking.

One more tip

you want to glide your blade through whatever you're cutting.

Don't apply pressure,

just let the knife do all the work.

Okay, when we come back,

we're going to cure your fear of frying.

Cut! And we're out.

That was great, Dexter.

I know. Thank you.

I've booked you an aromatherapy session

for this afternoon,

and then your hydrotherapy session

for tomorrow morning,

and your organic cleanse…

No cleanse.

No cleanse…

Pages?

Where are my pages?

The network is breathing down my neck.

Look, I'm a little busy.

I've got this show, the restaurant.

The network wants to monetize your brand.

They can't do that without a cookbook.

So where are my pages?

It has to be perfect.

Right, 30 seconds!

Places, people.

Okay, I am speaking to you as your friend and agent.

Don't play chicken with the suits downtown.

The talent never wins.

I'll take my chances.

And we're back!

In five, four, three, two..

And we're back

with deconstructed fried chicken

that'll make the entire state of Kentucky

weep with envy.

Cut!

And we're out!

Kenny…

I'd like you to meet Lauren Hennessey,

she's going to be Dexter's new ghost.

Did you bring your flak jacket?

Kevin! Where's Kevin?

Here, smell this.

Breathe deeply, inhale.

Describe it.

Cilantro.

Yes, we all know it's cilantro.

What's the aroma?

Mexican food?

I have taught you this a hundred times…

Everything in my kitchen has a flavor profile.

Cilantro should evoke citrus,

parsley, sage, even black pepper.

This…

Smells like asphalt.

Thank you.

Excuse me.

Fasten your seat belt, honey.

We're going in.

Dexter Durant,

I'd like you to meet Lauren Hennessey,

one of the best food testers we have

on staff here at "Food & Entertainment" magazine.

I don't read "Food & Entertainment" magazine.

No offense, it's a little Suzy homemaker for me.

Well, our magazine isn't for you, chef.

It's for the home cook.

And I don't watch your show either,

it's a little too Alpha male for me.

No offense.

I have chosen Lauren

to be your new ghostwriter.

No.

No, no, no, I already told you, I don't need a ghost.

Are you even a chef?

No, not yet, but…

Then absolutely no.

Lauren, is it?

You do science fair projects in the test kitchens.

I'm cooking for real here.

We offer our readers a valuable service.

It was nice meeting you,

but if you'll excuse me,

my schedule is a little tight.

You are my employee, Lauren, not his.

I'm in charge of this project.