Call Your Mother

Freddie, it's your mom. Call me.

Freddie, Mom, call me.

Freddie, call me back.

Freddie. Freddie.

Freddie. Freddie?

Oh, Freddie! Finally.

Nope. Not Freddie.

It's Jackie, your good child.

Oh, shoot.

Thanks, Mom.

I'm sorry. I'm just worried about your brother.

He's fine.

I'm sure he'll get back to you when he stops being stupid.

Freddie's not stupid, Jackie.

Come on. The kid failed "Spanish I" three times.

They were finally just like, "No más, por favor."

Be nice. He's not like you.

By the time you were in L.A. for a year,

you had a job, boyfriend.

What does Freddie have?

Nada. He just doesn't know how to say it.

Relax. I'm sure you'll hear from him soon.

Okay.

I'm sure you're right.

Thanks, Sweetie.

I love you, Mom.

I love you, too.

So you're not going to tell her

you're flying out there to check on him?

No, she'd just try to talk me out of it.

It's been four days since I've heard from him, Sharon.

I get it.

When Ted Jr. first got married,

I didn't hear from him for a month,

and I freaked out.

Turns out that nasty old wife of his

saved my name in his phone as "Spam Risk."

But flying out to Los Angeles is insane,

even for you, Jean.

Sweetie, ever since you lost Mike,

if you don't hear back from someone right away,

you immediately assume the worst.

You have issues, Jean.

This isn't a dead husband thing.

Trust me. I just know my own kid.

The reason Freddie failed "Spanish I" three times

is because he couldn't ask the teacher for help.

His silence is a scream.

So, how long are you staying out there?

As long as he needs me.

So, what are you thinking?

Pornos? Oh!

It's California. He's good-looking.

Spells pornos to me.

Oh, for cripes sake, Sharon. It's Freddie.

When was the last time you saw a good-looking guy in a porno?

Not since everybody went hairless.

Really? I don't mind that.

Mm.

I don't know who I'm supposed to be anymore.

If I'm not mothering, am I still a mother?

If I'm not teaching anymore, am I still a teacher?

I think you're overreacting.

Do we even exist, Sharon?

Well, maybe this is when we get to slow down

and contemplate our quiet wisdom.

Maybe.

We're contemplating, ya dick!

Go around!

Ooh, well, hello!

Oh, who are you?

Oh, that's quite a face you have there.

You might want to get off the ground.

Ripper has a tendency to hump.

So do I.

Oh!

Hi. Uh, I'm Jean.

I'm your renter.

Hi. Ripper, inside.

I'm Danny. Uh, I'm your host.

Actually, I just became an Incredi-host,

which is, uh -- It's a pretty big deal

in the hosting world.

Um, they sent me a little sticker

for my water bottle.

Anyway, come on in. Come on in.

Everything okay?

I watch a lot of "Forensic Files" --

nondescript white male luring women to his guest house.

I just texted your photo and address to my friend Sharon.

She's a security guard at Ross Dress For Less.

She took a hanger to the neck during Black Friday

and still finished her shift.

So, if you murder me, you won't get away with it.

Okay. Lots to take in there.

Yet all I can really think about

is being described as "nondescript."

Ooh, wow!

This is nice.

Thank you.

I, uh -- I built it for my wife's parents.

Unfortunately, my wife left.

But fortunately, she took her parents with her.

So, you're divorced?

Uh, I'm en route.

My wife and I dropped our daughter at college,

and I turned to her and said, "Finally, it's our time."

And she said "God, no. It's me time."

And then her lawyers started billing me for theirtime.

So, Airbnb time.

Anyway, clearly, I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself.

My husband died when my kids were 11 and 8.

Oh, God. I'm sorry.

I really wish you'd gone first.

Told your story first, not died.

So, what brings you to California?

Uh, somehow both my kids ended up here.

You know, I think my son is in trouble.

He hasn't called me back in four days.

Four days?

And you flew all the way to Los Angeles?

My kids and I are very connected.

Honestly, I'd still be breastfeeding

if we lived in France.

Okay. Uh, we got a full kitchen.

There is a separate bedroom,

much like my wife and I had towards the end.

Oh. She blamed it on my snoring.

I think it was more to do with the 30-year-old lifeguard

she was sleeping with.

I don't know why I told you that.

Oh, people tell me stuff. It's kind of a thing with me.

Ah.Which is why it bothers me so much

that I don't know what's going on with my son.

Ah, well, you know, sometimes you have to wait

for people to come to you.

Yeah.

I'm more of a hunt them down

and force my love on them kind of person.

So when you watch "Forensic Files,"

whose side are you on there, Jean?

Always on the side of the mom.

Just remember, whatever's going on with Freddie, stay calm.

Even if it's hookers.

It's not hookers, Sharon!

You know I browbeat a healthy respect for women into that boy.

I'll call you later.

Oh, thank God.

Freddie!

Mom! Oh, Mom!

Um, Celia, my mom's here!

Oh, my God, that's your mom?

Freddie, you didn't tell me your mom was coming.

I didn't know my mom was coming.

Mom, what are you -- what are you doing here?

I brought you socks and the toilet paper you like.

You know, your door was unlocked, Freddie.

And almost all my murder shows

start with an unlocked door in a bad neighborhood.

This isn't a bad neighborhood.

There's a pot store on the corner.

It's Los Angeles, Mom.

There's a pot store on every corner.

Why haven't I heard from you?

I've been really busy.

Of course. I understand that.

Do you need help, Freddie?

I'm here now. Just ask.

What?

What? Oh, my God.

Mom, is this about Spanish?

Ms. Fuentes was there for you.

She offered to meet with you after school,

but you kept saying, "I've got this."

But you didn't have it, Freddie. You needed help.

Yeah, Mom, that was in seventh grade!

I'm 23 years old, and I'm a grown-ass man.

Grown-ass men can fall through the cracks.

A lot of them are outside that pot shop right now.

Do you want me to tag you in this?

Who is this?

Mom, this is Celia.

Uh, Celia's my --

Don't be dumb, Fred. Say it.

My Bae.

I am so happy to meet you.

Freddie talks about you all the time.

Really? Because I've never heard about you.

But I'd like to.

Where are you from? What do you do for a living?

Do twins run in your family?

No, no, no, no. We're not doing this.

Born in Cuba, raised in Laurel Canyon.

I'm a social media influencer.

Mom's a twin and so is my aunt.

Mm. Hey, Mom.

Yeah?I'm serious.

You can't just show up to my apartment unannounced.

I'm not some visitor.

I birthed you.