Suze

Oh, my God, this feels incredible.

I can't believe you've never done it in a pool before.

I wanna have sex with you

in every single pool everywhere in the world.

I want that so bad.

Goddammit, I love you.

What did you say?

I love you, Jacinta.

Oh, my God! I love you, too!

Oh, shit!

What the hell, Alan?

Hey, Susan.

Uh... Uh, this is Jacinta.

The golf pro I've been taking lessons from and, well...

Ah, fuck!

I'm so sorry.

Put the solar cover on the pool when you're done.

Whoo!

Mom, no.

Mom, yes. Look! This is all your favorites.

Latte?

Yeah. Just the way you love it.

God, it's so weird.

It feels just like yesterday I was dropping you off

at kindergarten in your-- in your little braids,

your adorable little braids, and now, God, look at you.

You're just, like, this incredible, interesting,

talented young woman, who's graduating.

Oh, God. I'm just-- I'm just so proud of you.

You're my everything.

Morning, Suze!

Please don't call me Suze.

Shit, my bad. Sorry, Suze.

Whoa! Eggs benny on a weekday?

Ah, you're like mother of the year.

Well, I didn't know Gage spent the night last night.

Oh, yeah.

Somebody had a few too many sarsaparillas,

and I wanted to make sure she got home safe.

Brookie, we talked about this.

- Relax, it was like five drinks. - Five?

Can you actually drive me to Tami's?

'Cause we're getting ready together.

Oh, sweetie, I'm sorry. I can't.

I have a doctor's appointment.

So?

So it's on the other side of town.

Fine. Whatever.

Baby, you gotta try this, okay?

It's like an angel just shat in my mouth.

Oh, my god! You're an idiot.

Oh, God. We're leaving in ten.

- What's this yellow stuff anyways? - It's hollandaise, dummy.

I just don't get what you see in this guy.

God, I love him and he worships me.

But, honey, you're on two totally different

paths right now. You're starting University,

he's starting--

Nothing. Nothing. Literally nothing.

It's just crazy. I just want you to consider

that now would be a perfectly good time to,

you know, to break up with him.

What the shit, mom?

I'm sorry, but the guy's kind of a loser,

and you can do a million times better than him.

He's not a loser!

Like you literally don't even know him!

Well, I know he can't seem to graduate high school,

I know that his mother is in prison.

Oh, my God, you are so judgmental!

I'm not being judgmental.

Am I wrong about these two things?

Fine! You know what? If you hate him so much,

I'll just go live with dad, 'cause he thinks Gage is

a pretty interesting guy!

Don't even joke about that.

Look, I'm just simply saying this because

I just care about your well-being. That's all.

Okay. Well, I think you need to worry a little less about

my life and a lot more about yours, okay?

God, it so cold in here.

Are you going through menopause or something?

Sounds like you're going through perimenopause.

Okay. So, not menopause?

Well, technically, "peri" is a word meaning around or near.

Think of it as things starting to wind down inside.

Yeah. What if I don't want them to wind down inside?

Unfortunately, us ladies don't have much of a say in the matter.

Okay. So, how long until full menopause?

Anywhere from four to 10 years.

Well, what am I supposed to do until then?

Well, given your family's medical history,

I would not suggest HRT, but we have been getting

a lot of positive feedback for this tea.

Uh-huh.

That should help with the hot flashes.

Menopause tea?

Is there anything else I can help you with today?

I could use some more Ambien.

Susan?

Susan?

Susan?

- Susan. - Hm?

We'd love your thoughts.

Yeah. Right.

Sorry. Hold on.

Yeah.

Of course. Okay.

Let's see. Um...

Hm.

Mm-hm. Okay. The left.

The left?

Yeah. Definitely the left.

Great. That makes it unanimous.

Good.

Let's move this bad boy into production.

You okay?

Oh! So sorry! Excuse me. One second.

Just have to take this. Sorry.

Hey, sweetheart--

Tami's house has bed bugs!

Oh, really? Oh, that's awful!

Those can be really nasty to get rid of.

Can we have the party at our house?

Like, tonight?

Yeah.

Oh, honey, that's very short notice.

Please, Mom! It's, like, really important. It's grad.

I mean...

I guess I got, like, a ham that's just been sitting

in the freezer--

Oh, my god! I love you so much.

I love you too, sweetie.

Ask her if we can fill up the pool.

Yeah, tell Tami that's never gonna happen.

Yeah, Mom. I know. I'll see you later.

- Why's she so psycho about it? - I have no idea.

Travis Kendall.

Meena Kosuri.

Brooke Larson.

Woo! Woo!

Love you, baby! That's my girl!

Hey, Suze!

I love you, baby!

Anne Lowden.

Hey, I just wanted to say, I know I'm not graduating

with you all, but I'm still super hyped.

Happy grad, everyone, we're The Emotional Morons.

Excuse me.

Mom! Hi!

You looked so, so great up there.

- Thanks. - Hey, Susan.

Hi, Alan. Jacinta. Hello.

Hi, Susan.

Big day, huh?

Yes. Mm-hm. Yup. It's a big day.

That's right, Jacinta. It's a big day.

Al, honey, why don't you give Brookie her graduation present?

Present? What present?

All right, all right. There you go.

Ooh. Exciting.

Wow. Thanks, guys.

That's really cool.

Well, what is it?

It's nothing.

I'd hardly call a couple Economy Plus tickets to Montreal nothing.

Well, I'm confused.

Oh, it means you get a snack, seat selection, a free bag--

No, why would you need plane tickets to Montreal?

Jesus, Brooke. You haven't told your mom yet?

I was waiting for the right time.

Oh, my God. What the hell is going on?

Mom, I decided to go to McGill.

What do you mean you decided to go to McGill?

It just sorta happened.

How does something that just "sorta happen? "

I don't know, it just kinda, like, did.

I don't understand what is happening,

'cause you were going to live at home

and you were going to go to school here.

I mean, we talked about this.

For what it's worth, McGill has a great communications program.

And what a city, right?

It really is the Paris of North America.

Yeah, I'd not heard that.

Thanks.

I'll be right back. I'm going to get--

Does anybody want punch?

Hey, Suze.

Can I do anything?

Yeah, you can not drip all over my floors.

Oh, shit. My bad, Suze.