Swordfish

You know the problem with Hollywood?

They make shit. Unbelievable, unremarkable shit.

I'm not some wannabe filmmaker...

...searching for existentialism through a haze of bong smoke.

No, it's easy to pick apart bad acting, shortsighted directing...

...and a moronic stringing together of words the studios term as prose.

No, I'm talking about the lack of realism. Realism.

Not a pervasive element in modern American cinematic vision.

Take Dog Day Afternoon, for example. Arguably Pacino's best work.

Short of Scarface and Godfather Part I, of course.

Masterpiece of directing, easily Lumet's best.

The cinematography, the acting, the screenplay, all topnotch. But...

...they didn't push the envelope.

What if, in Dog Day Sonny wanted to get away with it? Really wanted that.

Now this is the tricky part. What if he started killing hostages right away?

No mercy, no quarter.

"Meet our demands or the pretty blond gets it in the head." Bam, splat.

What, still no bus? Come on.

How many innocent victims would it take for the city...

...to reverse its policy on hostages?

And this is 1976. There's no CNN. There's no CNBC. There's no Internet.

Fast-forward to today. Present time, same situation.

How quickly would the media make a frenzy? In hours.

It would be the biggest story from Boston to Budapest.

Ten hostages die.

Twenty, thirty.

Relentless. Bam, bim. One after another.

All on hi-def, computer-enhanced. You can almost taste the brain matter.

All for what? A bus, a plane?

A couple million dollars that's federally insured?

I don't think so, but...

...just a thought.

I mean, it's not...

...within the realm of conventional cinema, but...

...what if?

-There's a problem with that movie. -Really?

-It wouldn't work. -How come?

-Audiences love happy endings. -Pacino escapes with the money.

Boyfriend gets a sex change. Live happily ever after.

-No? -No.

Homophobia.

Bad guy can't win. It's a morality tale.

One way or the other, he's gotta go down.

Well, life is stranger than fiction sometimes.

You know, guys, I gotta go.

Gotta jet.

Thanks for the coffee.

Stan. Time to go to work. You coming?

Move. I won't say it again.

I have a clear shot.

Shooters, stand by.

Okay. Now what?

Don't worry, folks, it's almost over. Is she done?

-She's done. -Move her out.

Don't worry, you'll be fine. You'll be back before you know it.

Turn the fuck around.

Rescue team, let's go. Who's on the roof?

All shooters, you are holding for command.

You're doing good. Behave yourself. Look over there, and there.

All prepare their shot.

-What are you doing? -I'm handling this!

Don't fuck with this guy! You'll get these people killed !

We got two teams on the roof. We got a team over there.

Double this team up. That's your best angle.

Don't talk. Just listen.

Each of the 22 hostages is wrapped with 20 pounds of C-4 explosives.

They're also taped with 15 pounds of stainless steel ball bearings.

Which makes them the world's largest claymore mines.

They got the green light.

I got this guy on the phone!

I'm done playing with this asshole!

Around their necks are radio-frequency electronic dog collars.

Dog walks out of the yard, gets the shit shocked out of him. Same here.

This bank is their yard, so don't fuck with me.

Johnson, you and your partner move up between those vehicles.

-Stand down ! -Get back!

-Get back! -Officer, stand down now!

He's gonna shoot! He's gonna shoot!

Shit.

Get her!

Go!

No! Release the hostage!

No! Release the hostage!

She's gone. Take cover!

No, no! Let her go! Let her go!

Release the hostage!

Help me!

Let her go. Let her go!

-Jesus. -Shit! You guys, come on !

-How long will you be here? -One week.

-Business or pleasure? -Hopefully both.

-What type of work do you do? -I'm a consultant.

Excuse me.

Could you be careful with that? That's expensive equipment.

-How long will this take? -A few minutes.

Sit down, relax. I'll be right back.

A few minutes, huh?

Hey, where's he going?

It's going up. Stairs.

Sir, could you please--?

Easy, easy.

This better be important.

Wouldn't have asked you otherwise, senator.

We just received word that Axl Torvalds was intercepted entering the U.S.

-When was this? -Within the last two hours.

According to my FBI source, he was nabbed in customs at LAX.

-They know he's working for us? -It's unlikely.

It was a routine check. Torvalds freaked out. They got lucky.

This ain't good. What do the feds know?

Nothing yet. He's refusing to speak English.

The Finnish consulate has contacted the State Department.

-So we haven't been compromised? -I'm not sure. I'm working on that.

You better get sure because someone's cock will end up on the block...

...and it won't be mine.

I understand, senator.

There you go.

Well, well, well.

Who are you supposed to be?

-I'm Ginger. -Ginger, huh?

Where's Gilligan?

For someone the NSA once listed as the most dangerous hacker in America...

...you sure don't look like much.

Surprised?

I know everything about you, Stan.

What are you selling again?

My employer wants to meet you.

-Shit. -You're not too good at golf.

You're fucking up my chi.

Let me have that.

This is not a nice place you got here, Stan.

Here 5 minutes, and I already feel sorry for myself.

You're wasting your time. I touch a computer, I go back to Leavenworth.

Do not pass Go, do not collect $200.

If I knew you were coming, I might have cleaned up.

I'm not here to suck your dick, Stanley.

He'll pay you just to meet you.

I gotta go to work.

Right.

Great work greasing pump jacks.

So...

...spoke to Holly lately?

Shit!

Hello?

Melissa. Is Holly home?

Why are you calling here?

-I just want to talk with Holly. -It's Saturday. She's at soccer.

It's illegal for you to talk to her.

Don't do this, Mel. It's not good for Holly.

How would you know what's good for my daughter?

You spent the last two years in prison.

-Mel. -Stop calling me that, Stanley.

Look, I just... I just want to see my baby.

Well, she doesn't want to see you, Stanley.

And I swear, if you try to contact her...

...I'll have you thrown in a hole so dark...

...Leavenworth will seem like two weeks in Vegas...

...during which I will personally...

...pay two skinheads to make a playground out of your ass.

You can take the girl out of the trailer park...

...but can't take the trailer park out of the girl.

I will not let myself be manipulated by you, Stanley.

Larry's her father now.

Larry's the porn king of Southern Calif--

Larry is a film financier.

The films he chooses are for profit and none of your business.

Get help. Get into a program, get a therapist, get a dog.

But whatever you do, stay away from my child.

-Your child? She's our child. -She will never be your child.

Forget Holly.

What are you still doing here?

Look, I'm beginning to lose my sense of humor.

Then I'll cut to the chase.

If you want your daughter back, you better listen up.

Unless you want to stay here in this loser existence...

...while your daughter grows up to be a fluffer in her new daddy's videos.

Please don't confuse your own childhood with my daughter's.

And look at your situation, Stanley.

For the past 20 months, you've been in and out of court 6 times?

Each time your case was thrown out.

Situation doesn't look good, sweetheart.

How much money would it cost to hire the best family lawyer in the country?

A lot. Come here.

Come here.

Judas.

That should get you started.

Hundred grand.

What do you got to lose? He just wants to meet you.

One time. You don't like the situation...

...walk away.

-And that's it? -That's it. And you keep the money.

What did he say?

All right, look, look.

Your client is wanted on 24 counts of electronic crimes...

... in 7 different countries.

He has a Finnish passport.

These allegations are not recognized as crimes. Your laws don't apply.

Do you see a Finnish flag hanging on the wall, IKEA boy?

-What did he say? -He said IKEA is Swedish.

He understands English, huh?

-Let me talk to him. -He's all yours.