Low Life

Hello, baby.

How are you doing?

Hello, baby.

How are you doing?

Hello, baby.

How are you doing?

Ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, bop.

Everyone's trying to keep me down.

I'm like yeast, I rise.

And I am back, baby.

I'm back in the saddle and it feels damn good.

Mother Dunkers, the classic dunk heads.

I'm working some new hellos.

You Dunk fanatics out there, welcome back.

What's up, guys?

I'm here. I do not see him at the moment.

I've got the chat logs right here.

Take a look at that,

where she says she's underage.

"Come meet me here."

He says, "I want to meet you.

"Can you send a pic?"

Exhibit A, exhibit B, exhibit D.

The wiener dog.

If he is like, oh, "I don't know what you're talking about.

"I'm totally not here for the thing

"that I'm obviously here for",

I'm gonna be like, "Boom!".

How come I got a picture of your di-?

I got my handy dandy spy glasses,

looking like a sexy nerd.

Boom, take off the glasses.

What's up, baby?

How are you doing?

Oh, I'm pretty late.

I hope this guy is still here.

Hang in there, Mr. Predator.

I'm coming to get ya.

Where the fuck are you?

Ladies and gentlemen, I think I see him.

Say, hello.

Hello, Mr. Pedophile.

Hello?

I see you.

I'm gonna get you.

You only have a couple more seconds

of thinking you're gonna meet with Julia.

Drum roll, please.

Let's dominate.

Hey, buddy!

How you doing, man?

Don't you remember me?

Come on, I'll give you one guess to guess.

It's me.

It's me, stop, stop.

It's me, Julia.

Look, remember you sent me this?

Do you recognize the person in this picture?

No.

- Really, because I think that looks a lot like you,

like, you just sent a photo of yourself

to a 13-year-old girl.

Yeah, it's not.

What are you here for? - What am I here for?

What are you here for?

I don't, I dunno, man.

A dead ringer.

That's you.

Sit inside.

- You want me to sit inside your car?

Why, are you getting a little chilly out here?

Okay, Tim.

Wait, it's kind of weird now that I know your name is Tim.

Isn't it, Tim?

Like, how do I know that?

You all right?

You look a little upset.

I get it.

You must be pretty bummed

that Julia doesn't actually even exist.

Who?

- Who? - Yeah.

- Are you gonna play dumb with me?

I'll enlighten you.

You know what?

I'll enlighten you.

I'm talking about Julia.

The girl you've been talking to for the past two months,

every single day.

The 13-year-old girl,

you were coming here to have sex with.

That Julia.

Does that ring a bell?

You know the glasses on my head have a camera, right?

Yeah.

- Right there on the bridge.

Yeah, I can see it, yeah.

- Oh, okay, yeah, you can see it?

It's okay, you probably have like a brain tumor or something

that makes you wanna have sex with little kids, right?

It like rubs up against a certain part of your brain

and it makes you attracted to young kids.

Is that what's wrong with you?

No.

No, that's not?

No.

- So are you just here to like what,

teach little girls a lesson

about talking to older men online?

No.

Well then talk to me.

There's some pretty sick stuff in here.

You want me to read it?

You talk about licking cum off the floor

and I mean, it's stuff you wrote, so.

Do you think I'm stupid?

- Do I know you're from somewhere?

No, definitely not.

We do not run in the same crowds.

Is your name Benny Jansen?

Yeah, we went to high school together.

You're the basketball guy, right?

- No. - Yeah.

- No. - I was a mascot.

Let's focus on you.

Butt stuff, eating her out,

stuff she's never done before.

And she's- - Bro, bro.

- You talk about wanting her to wear a dog mask?

What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

These are your words.

You wrote this.

You talk about,

hey, hey. - Let me just see it.

Let me see it. - You talk about fingers.

And licking of the anus, right-

Keep your paws to yourself.

- Let me just see it. - No!

You talk about licking up cum.

So much cum.

You're, hey, all right, I'm getting outta the car now.

Don't fuck with me, man!

Don't fuck with me!

Take a long, hard look.

This is what a pedophile looks like.

Yo!

What the fuck!

Don't do that!

No, no, no!

What the fuck!

Yo!

Dang, boy.

What the hell are you doing?

Don't fuck with me!

Fuck!

Oh, fuck, if my camera's fucked up,

I'm gonna be fucking pissed off.

I swear to God!

I swear to God, if this shit's fucked...

Fuck!

Oh fuck, what the fuck!

Hey, Tom, right?

Hey, man.

You're trying to run away from the fact that

you were meeting up with a 13 year old girl?

Holy shit.

The name's Jansen.

Benny Jansen.

Oh, fuck.

Hey, what's up?

- What do you mean, what's up?

You haven't given me updates in days on you know who!

- Look, I'm kind of in the middle of something right now.

I can't really talk.

Also, I'm sorry,

since when is it my responsibility

to give you play by plays?

- I showed you this guy.

Yeah, no, I...

I know, I just.

I just usually work alone, is all.

- Okay, but he's my best friend's dad

and I might be sleeping over at his time tonight.

Yeah.

I know, I know.

That's why I'm like,

trying to protect you or whatever.

Oh my God, so I was right?

He's like a total fucking creep?

Yeah, no he's a bad, bad dude.

He's one of the most aggressive I've ever dealt with.

- Motherfucker, I fucking knew it!

He's always been so fucking creepy towards me.

Let's fucking get him tonight, get him tonight.

Uh.

All right, just calm down for a second, okay?

- How the fuck can you say that? How can I be calm?

- Um, look, I'm gonna have to call you back, all right.

- Wait, wait, wait, Benny, Benny, no.