The Weasel's Tale (El cuento de las comadrejas)

Mara Ordaz in DUNES OF PASSION

SANTA GAUCHA

There's no better lesson than pain and suffering.

LOVE SHOT

WOMEN OF THE HOMELAND

THE OTHER WOMAN... FOREVER

Best actress in a leading role Mara Ordaz, "Santa Gaucha"

I'm sick of those gunshots.

Mara, look ! I brought you a pet !

I wrote that line for you in "Muddy Blood," 1962.

Thanks for the tribute.

"The evil gaucho loomed closer and you,

and you, the sweet girl with the youthful braids begged for mercy."

"No, no ! Where do you come from ? Where are you going ?"

"What do you want from me ?"

"From dust I came, to dust I shall return."

"And what I want..." "Well, it's obvious, isn't it ?"

"You're mine !"

Fuck, shit, dammit !

Too wordy, Marita, too wordy.

Why use three words when one will do ?

I could give you fifty more !

Loser, has-been, corny, screenwriter !

You shit turd !

Now, that's called a "pleonasm."

Vulgarly known as "redundancy." What else could a turd be made of...

Shut up !

Anyway...

Scene two from "Satanic Harvest."

Argentina Sonofilm, 1959.

Not my best film, but it had its moments.

Why don't you both leave this house ?

I never wanted you to live here !

I hate you both so much ! I hate you !

Too on the nose for my taste.

All her years as a movie star

and she never learned to hide exposition.

It looks like you love tormenting her.

Looks like ?

We should be careful with Mara, she looks weaker every day.

What if something happens to her ?

Look, if oblivion didn't killed her, what could a poor little rat do ?

On the contrary, she loves it !

She screams to exercise her inner puppet,

her tool, whatever it is

that passes for the soul of an actor.

Just like you wrote.

What was that line in "A Cry in the Night" ?

"A man grows stronger from having a little of many weaknesses."

"A little... angina, a little smallpox,

a little sadness and a little fear."

It wasn't "a little angina." I wrote "a little pertussis."

She said "a little angina" and you let her say it !

She was right. Nobody knows what pertussis is.

God forbid they should learn something.

The only bad thing about this house is the vermin.

They're not vermin, Martin, they're little critters.

Weasels, hens, rats. Critters.

Some eat what we have,

others get eaten by us, because we're critters, too.

One critter eats another, which eats another, and so on...

And, one meal at a time,

you have the history of the world.

How philosophical of you.

We're flying at high levels of depth.

Guys ! Over here !

I'm not sure if I got it,

but I tried to capture the essence of the landscape.

As years go by,

the life and colors of this field still stimulate me.

It's an endless source of inspiration...

It's rude for me to say it,

but I think it's one of my best pieces.

Yes, it is. It is rude.

It's the land, but with a soul. The sky, but with feeling.

In all, it's the landscape, but with my stamp.

What a huge piece of... stamp.

It wasn't that good a joke.

No, but he's so funny !

And you're so easy !

Well, here's the thing: the stamp is there,

but the landscape...

What can I say ? He laughs, what can I do ?

Was it me or did I hear Mara scream before ?

Oh, yes. She saw a critter, poor thing...

She's been a bit sensitive lately.

Well, I think I'll have to assume my role as a husband and stand up for her.

No, you already played too many roles in your life.

- And all badly, right, director ? - Oh, here we go again !

One day you'll have the guts to tell me

what you really think of me as an actor.

Pedro...

Someone who can pretend to love Mara for 50 years

is... the best actor in history !

You're mean !

How mean, he's terrible !

Okay, okay. Homemade almond tea

with three drops of honey for you...

Thank you.

A dash of port for me

and with more sugar than Cuba for Pedro.

- Come on ! - One more, please.

- Thanks. - That's it.

- Cheers ! - Cheers !

I don't mean to be fussy, but... What should we toast to?

What to toast to...

A toast to our life not being like one of your scripts.

- You mean, not perfect. - No, because it is !

In movies there are no lives like ours, without problems.

A beautiful, solid friendship,

over 50 years without any conflict

is too boring, right ?

In a movie, there should be... danger, a threat...

a villain.

Who comes along just when everything seems fine.

Exactly !

So I toast to our lives not being like in the movies.

Cheers, cheers !

Excuse me, good morning.

Sorry for the intrusion. We need help.

- We don't have any. - It'll only take a second.

I'll just be a second.

We need to be in Buenos Aires by 2:30 and we're completely lost.

We have an important meeting,

we can't just not show up without calling and we have no coverage.

Can we use your phone ?

Don't show any desperation, they might charge you for the call.

They're in a hurry, Mara, no need for you to come out.

Why not ? They can't go away thinking

everyone in this house is rude, and ugly too, my God.

Sorry, sorry...

Mara Ordaz ?

No ! No way !

My goddess, please !

Oh, so there's still such a thing as elegance !

I need to get out more.

It's an honor to meet you.

Delighted.

I know you too.

- Martin Zarabia ? - No. That's him.

Just a screenwriter.

I'm a huge fan of your movies !

Well, this will sound like an old line, but...

they don't make them like they used to, do they ?

Yes, you're right.

That is an old line, try coming up with a fresh one.

It isn't easy at first, but everything gets better with time.

Not everything, look at you.

You see why I love you ?

So you must be Pedro De Cordova ?

Yes, thank you.

Your husband, right ?

Did you work in the movies too ?

No, no, no, I'm an awful actor, I can't write,

I hate hauling lights, sewing costumes,

applying make-up, painting sets... No.

I can't even make coffee.

I have no skills.

- He's a director. - Norberto Imbert, pleased to meet you.

I can't believe it, the whole team is here !

Sorry, Francisco Gourmand, and this is Bárbara Otamendi.

I can't believe it, four hyper-super mega-geniuses, total GODS !

Oh, don't exaggerate !

Four ?

Come in, the place is a mess.

Oh God, God, God !

- It's no big deal. - Is this the...

People are always so impressed,

but to us it's just a trinket.

It's true that only two actresses in history got it

for a foreign film. Me and Sophia Loren.

What can I say ? Merely a statue. Cold, stiff...

Sofía Loren, I mean.

Why did she age like that ?

She looks so deteriorated !

- Am I wrong ? - Always.

- The telephone is over there. - Thank you.

Sorry, may I ?

Okay.

Wow, it's so heavy !

Like all the men in this house.

You can't imagine how many times I watched the ceremony...

Old, faded tapes...

I remember every word you said.

"I'd like to thank all my cast and crew,

"people without fame..."

"or glory..."

"...and who, if it weren't for me, would be out of work."

You were more generous than Mara. What she really said was

"who would starve to death."

Martin won't forgive me for being so excited

that I forgot to rave about his marvelous script.

All set ! Meeting canceled.

Okay.

What's this ?

Such strength !

Like... the artist was a trapped soul, but filled with passion.

No, he painted it. Pedro.

You painted this ?

Well !