Courting Condi

The first time I saw her…

I remember it very clearly.

It was like, I was there with her.

I mean, there was this sense of awe,

the sound of the TV almost like dropped out,

and I just-- I couldn't take my eyes off of her.

In America, with education and hard work,

it really does not matter where you came from,

it matters only where you are going.

Literally, my heart skipped a beat when I saw her.

This is my secret that I've been walking around with for years.

Cheers, Mom!

May you live as long as you want,

and never want as long as you live.

That's good. I like that one.

- Okay. - That's very good.

You look nervous, what have you got to tell me?

Ah... I have--

I have--

I've found someone.

Really?

- Yeah. - Good.

- Who? - Um...

For the last...

six years or so, um...

I...

I've been in love with, uh...

The Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice.

Oh, Condi, Condi, I'm begging on my knees

The desperate outlaws from Baghdad to Belgrade

are still there and must be dealt with.

Oh, Condi, Condi

She's one of the most powerful women in the world

and she's also the girl next door.

Your quest is a way to frame Condi's story.

I want to shine light on this extraordinary woman

very few people know anything about.

Oh, Condi, Condi Oh, Condi, Condi

I was born and bred in New York City

on the Upper West Side.

I've always had a passion for music

and it's always been my dream to get signed by a major label...

But now I've had a new dream.

It's time for me to find her

and to win her heart.

If I'm gonna stand a chance,

I've got to learn everything about her.

Talk to the people who know her best,

so I've agreed to let my friend Sebastian

make a documentary about my courtship.

In return, he's going to help me to meet her.

This is my best shot for finding love, I can't blow it now.

We start in Alabama where she was born.

We then go to Denver where she found her calling

to go from Denver to Stanford all the way to Washington, D.C.

where she currently resides and where she came to power.

I'm being deadly serious.

Mom, she's one of the most...

I thought you were gay.

This is something that I did not even want to tell you now.

I feel like an idiot that I got talked into telling you.

I think you're-- I think you think you really are, right?

I think your brain's a little addlepated right now.

It's -- I don't know, honey, but you know, I know,

I know being in love is very close to being insane.

So you have no intention of getting an apartment?

The money that you have been saving,

- you've been working towards... - Yes.

...That you were going to use for an apartment

you're going to use on some...

demented odyssey?

No! I'm using the money that I've been saving to get--

For the apartment.

Well, or a house to share with her.

You can't even do your own laundry.

Dad, she has people to do...

Condoleezza Rice, are you fucking nuts?!

So what are you looking at?

Hold on, I wanna show you something.

It's-- it's hard to imagine my life without music.

I certainly find it as a way

to completely transport into another world.

My secret weapon is music.

It's the thing that we have the most in common.

I have always had really eclectic taste in music.

I love very, very hard rock; rhythm and blues;

Motown.

Some mornings it's Brahms some mornings it's Cream.

So tell us about the films you've been making for her.

Love discs are love letters in music and pictures.

I've been making them for the past five years,

but I've only sent one out.

This is my first love disc ever.

It's a little dated, but I'm still rather proud of it.

I'll hold your hand, together we'll stand

On the brink of a brand-new day

No more god-awful stuff

Darlin', you've had enough

And I've come to take you away

With each cowardly blow

No matter how low they go

I'll pick you up and carry you away

I'm your knight in shining armor

You're my damsel who's had too much stress

Chill, Condi, chill

Chill, Condi, chill

...and that's enough of that.

That was five years ago and they have gotten better since then.

I have had my share of the ladies,

but none of them have been as accomplished

or as talented or as interesting as she is.

Compared to her they're as deep as a shot glass.

When I think of all the men in her life, you know, all these

powerful professional men,

I just can't believe that she hasn't been snagged up yet.

Oh, wouldn't we all love to find somebody that

you'd want to live the rest of your life with?

Sure, but I've never thought you wanted to get married

in the abstract.

You want to get married to someone.

I think with the love discs that you're helping me to make,

how can she resist?

This is a song I wrote called Invisible.

All my life, I've done nothing

There's been no hope, I've been waiting

To give my love

People see through me

I am invisible through and through

And then I saw you in a sea of blank faces

Amid all the people you stood alone

You looked right through them

And you saw me

I've been invisible till I found you

Where did the inspiration come from?

Well, a lot of people have a lot of pretentious answers

about their inspiration, but I just-- it just-- it--

it comes to me

when I think about her.

Condi is my muse.

I'm about to head off to Alabama.

Very excited.

This is the first love disc that you and I

have created together.

Sending it off to her.

Here we go.

Oh my God, I just did it.

Now I'm a man, I'm a man

Man, I am blood, sausage and sorrow

And they'll never know, they'll never know, they'll never know

What I got to give you, don't you know

From day one, I had great respect for Condoleezza Rice.

I'm a great admirer of Secretary Rice.

I think she's a great American.

Look at this face! Beauty and intelligence.

That’s great.

I grew up in a very nice, sheltered

little middle-class community in Birmingham.

My mother was a school teacher,

my father was a minister and a high school guidance counselor

and I'm still friends with a lot of the kids from that community.

Vanessa, very nice to meet you.

I'm Sebastian. I'm the director.

Hi, how are you doing?

Now let me introduce you to Devin.

Uh, Devin is our love-struck courtier.

- Pleasure to meet you. - Hi, how are you doing, Devin?

I'm just a normal guy.

- How are you? - Yes.

So when did you first meet Condi?

We were both five years old.

I moved across the street from her.

She was literally the girl next door?

Yeah. It's the girl across the street.

- Across the street? - Across the street.

- Yes. - Wow.

Okay, we're going to see the hospital.

This is where it all started, right?

Is this where Condoleezza was born?

- Yeah. - In this hospital?

In this hospital.

Why was this all boarded? Why is it all boarded up now?

Look, Devin, this is how it looked in 1954.

Look at those cars. Those old cars.

Yeah, that was 1954.

Oh, why did they let this go?

I mean this should be a landmark.

She was born here November 14, 1954.

- She was born November 14th. - Why is that special?

That's when my mother was born.

That's this-- that's my mother's birthday.

Your mother's birthday is November 14th?

- Yes. - Oh, okay.

Look. Take a look.

November 14th.

Oh, okay, that's mom's birthday.

Yeah, that's mom's-- Yeah.

Mom's birthday.

You gonna get one that says Condi on that side?

- Yes! -

We're going around and see what it looks like.