Autumn (A Minha Casinha)

AUTUMN

You talkin' to me?

Or my friend...?

It's time to go...

What? But-

But... but isn't an urologist the Doctor that... you know...

Exactly...

No, no way

No... No...

You really think I should go?

Of course! For precaution.

Oh! You think I'm a fag or what?

Nobody touches these balls.

Only you.

Which balls?

These ones?

yes...

These ones.

These?

Let me see...

MUM!

You seen my bongo drums?

Which bongo drums?

The ones Aunt Micas gave you?

Cheese?

Did you look in the cellar?

Mum, there's only one fridge, for five!

But then what if you need it?

Mum, looks like it's gonna rain!

You seen my bongo drums?

No.

And that T-shirt is mine... Put it in my luggage...

No. Don't know where your bongo is.

Do I really speak that loud?

You really think a bongo's gonna bring you chicks there?

Now that's what gets them... Bring it to me!

Bring it, bring it.

You sure you didn't see it?

Just help this old "me". You know it hurts my knee.

And if you got one of those machines

that press your grapes in two seconds? No?

No...

Gotta give sweat of mine. To make the best wine.

I still haven't finished packing.

Just take off your boots. And help me with the fruits.

Why I gotta help and she doesn't?

Oh! C'mon! Let her be. Don't you see how she is lately?

She's been a bit, I don't know...

Stop it. Let me go!

Studying, huh?

Take my jacket off from her...

You guys are crazy!

This is so gross!

Happy birthday to you...

Happy birthday dear Tomás...

Happy birthday to you...

Belinha!

C'mon, you can do more than 20...

Yes, I'm here.

You two didn't shower?

I was kicking his ass!

My ass? You wish...

- What? I'm lying? - You want some more, huh?

C'mon, stop it you two. I told you. Lunch's ready.

If you don't wanna get hurt, don't go to war.

As if you could hurt me...

You okay, dad?

- Yeah, yeah. - Does it hurt?

No. It's nothing.

No. I don't want any of that stuff.

- I'm a man! - Did you find it, mum?

No. But I'll keep looking after lunch. I promise.

Why d'you even want a bongo?

Oh. You wouldn't get it.

Back in my days, all I took was a few bucks and a guitar.

Nothing else. Those were the times...

Yeah. And where d'you sleep?

In the girls houses. Always knocking from door to door.

All I needed was a guitar for the serenades...

You'll see how it is.

Yeah. Yeah.

But a quick advice... Serenade them in the morning.

'Cause if they say no, at least you didn't waste your whole day.

My big brother serenading girls... Sounds unlikely...

Oh. Shut up.

Don't you bring me a girl with a moustache though.

Remember: Girl with a stache...

Don't smash!

That seems statistically more likely.

Stop it, you two... Put this in the fridge.

You are very handsome, Tomás Alexandre... Inside out.

- Sure, sure, mum. - You gonna find a lot of girls.

- Yeah, I know, mum. - And they'll be after you.

Sush, the numbers are on.

Where did I put that paper?

Look! Speaking of statistics...

Shut up. Don't jinx it.

Today I become a millionaire. I feel it.

Today is the day. You'll see.

We said no TV at the table...

Sweetie, please. Just this time. I feel it. You'll see. Trust me.

What would you even do with so much money?

- Trust me. I know. - How much is it?

Don't buy glasses, no, mum?

Oh, no. I can see well... It's just...

If I get closer... Or maybe farther I--

How much does it say there?

Two Million, three hundred Thousand. Two Million!!

You're just like Belinha.

Shut up. My eyesight's perfect.

You think I'm some nanny to wear glasses?

Okay, silence now.

You know you're more likely to get hit by thunder...

Actually, Sidónio, the one who works with your mum...

He got hit by thunder once.

- You really think so... - It's true.

I'm hungry.

We can't pray until your dad turns off the TV.

What's lunch?...

- Vegetables? - I cooked your favourite.

Codfish with breadcumbs.

You had to ruin it with vegetables?

They're good for you...

Shit. This whole game's rigged.

Don't know why I still waste money on this.

I told you, dad.

I don't understand. How can that guy get hit by thunder

and I can't guess five freaking numbers?

- 'Cause it's not how odds work. - But they should.

Speaking of Sidónio,

yesterday he couldn't help me back at the nursing home...

I was at the computer, registering the passing

of Mr. Alcindo, the one whose wife is half witch...

He preferred we call him Tony,

but I always like to have respect,

especially to the elderly,

I always called him Mr. Alcindo...

Poor man, he had a stroke.

He was a good man, God Bless him

Wait, if he wasn't good, God shouldn't bless him?

C'mon, stop it. It's not about that.

So I was registering it, right?

And I take more or less half an hour, forty minutes.

Which isn't much, compared to Dona Esperanza,

who can stay in front of the computer two hours and--

C'mon, get to the point!

You were registering it and an error message appeared...

You already told me this story a thousand times today.

Wait. Let me finish...

So...

You know how everything is all done technologically now.

You want to take care of the elders...

but you spend all your time in front of a computer.

And worst, those cocky kids, 20's something...

They get there, and in five minutes, they're done. I mean...

- It's not right. - We know, mum.

So, there was an error message and...

Yeah. So, the error message said: something... and "delay".

"Delay", you see? But I don't understand it.

Mum, you and English...

Exactly. And I didn't want to call the young ones, right?

So what do I do?

So I call Sidónio.

He always acts like he's polyglot...

He also doesn't know it.

He doesn't know "delay"?

No. Can you imagine?

And I needed to know. To click on one of the buttons...

But I didn't give up. You know what I did?

I started decomposing the word.

"De-lay" / "De-law"

"De" is like the opposite

The opposite of "law" means it's illegal.

- So I closed it straight away. - Mum, delay...

Wait... You didn't report that, mum?

Yeah. That's dangerous.

- But, but I closed it all up. - No, it's very dangerous.

And you close it, but it won't go anywhere.

It stays there.

No, but...

Oh My God! What do I do now?

Mum...

"Delay" isn't "de-law"

- We could've pushed it longer. - What is it then?

Means it was lagging... You had to wait.

"Can't teach an old dog new tricks"

- To youngsters, we're all old. - For real.

The other day, over at the cellar,

a youngster asked me if I needed help lifting a barrel.

Me? Help?

The kid wishes he had my biceps.

I got the strength of a black man.

What? It's a compliment. No need for those faces.

Let's just pray

before this conversation goes off rails, as usual.

Off rails?

What we need to pray is for the train

not to go off rails tomorrow...

Dammit.

I still need to buy you those tickets for tomorrow.