The Increasingly Poor Decisions Of Todd Margaret - Season Three

And, yea, verily doth it be decreed

in Book Three, Chapter One that the one known as The Catalyst

would awaken from his slumber

and take flight across land and sea.

Thus would begin the beginning of the end.

Steph, where are those adaptors I set out?

Last night's dream: I had a dream that I was arranging shoes

on a shoe rack and in the dream I knew that the shoes were mine.

Steph, where're those adapters I set out? And then this light went out

and I couldn't find my way out of the closet

and then there was like this big banging noise, too.

Steph the adapters?

...there was this big banging noise.

I-I think that the dream was actually about

the impending comet that's been all over the news...

Hey, there's no peanuts in there right?

Fanny can't have pean... No.

Of course there's no peanuts in there Todd, c'mon.

Alright, I'm just checkin'.

So, new rule, no Indian food after ten o'clock.

Oh man.

And other new rule, don't invite Mark Boylan.

That douche is always late.

How're you feeling this morning?

You were pretty drunk last night.

Yeah, but not too drunk to, uh...

make you happy...

Really?

None times?

Oh yes...

I did in my dream, though.

And since you're into all that dream crap

that should count for something, right?

Oh, God... Stephanie,

I have to tell you about last night's dream.

It was crazy, super crazy.

I-I-I was completely different, right?

I looked different and, uh, and Brent Wilts was in my dream.

Oh, and your dad, except he was my dad and he was alive.

Uh, Jon Hamm, Fucking Jon Hamm was in my dream.

I wish fucking Jon Hamm was in my dream.

Oh yeah, I had to go to the Houses of Parliament.

In...The dream was in England, like I was in...

It was just... just weird.

Weird, weird, weird.

Dreams can have a lot of hidden meanings.

You should try to remember as much as possible

and write it down.

Huh, yeah...

Dream analysis is a well respected science.

That is a universally acknowledged fact!

Oh, sure, yeah just ask any ghost or fairy

they'll tell you the same thing. Hey!

Google LaBerge and De Gracía asshole!

Alright, Okay, Sorry.

I don't want to have this argument again.

I'm just a little wound up 'cause of this stupid trip.

I never should have sent Brent Wilts in the first place. (horn honking)

Your car's here.

Look, Steph, when I get back

we're going straight to Big Sur, okay.

Just the two of us.

It's gonna be great!

Yeah? Yeah.

It'll be...that'll be really great.

You're right, it's just a short trip and, you know,

it's not like it'll be the end of the world.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah and London's nice.

Eh, it's not that nice.

Okay...I think that's it.

Okay, look, see you in a week, huh?

Alright, don't forget to please come around,

make sure Fanny is fed.

All that. Yes.

Got it. See you next week, Fanny!

Miss you already!

Nice.

Brent Wilts... Todd Margaret.

That's right, I'm in London.

The last place on earth I want to be.

Well, North Korea is the last place on earth I want to be

but, listen shit bucket,

Turgid sent me over here to clean up your mess.

What's the deal, man?

What the hell happened to you?

It's all good though, just give me a call back, alright.

Come on, I wanna get stinky drunk and nuts deep

in some of that nasty British pussy.

I need that back by morning....

Alright, man, give me a call, bye.

Yeah...This is Todd Margaret, room 46,

wanted to order some room service...

It-It's not even eleven o'clock!

Well, I...No, I don't want a kebab, and even if I did,

I-I don't have clothes, so I can't go out...

That's the same thing as a kebab with different breading!

Jesus Christ!

London, the city that always sleeps...

Hello?

Hello?

Oh...excellent.

There we go...

Perfect

Can I help you with something?

Uhh...

Did you get lost on your way to the Playboy Mansion?

The airline lost my luggage

and I sent my only suit to get dry cleaned

and I can't go getting a kebab looking like this

and, y'know, I haven't eaten all day

and the Nazis at the front desk

wouldn't even let me order a club sandwich.

Well, I don't think you can call them Nazi's.

I mean they don't deserve that.

No, okay, sorry.

I'm jet-lagged, I haven't eaten all day.

I'm really hungry and...

Come on, I'll make you a sandwich.

Yeah?

Thank you! Todd, Todd Margaret.

Alice, Alice Bell.

Jesus, how strong are the onions in this country?

Huh?

Ha...Excuse me, have- have we met before?

Um...I don't think so.

Oh, have you been to The Molecule?

What's that?

Well, that's my flagship restaurant.

This is just a satellite.

Oh,oh... oh cool.

What kind of food?

Classic British.

The thing you're supposed to now-a-days of course is, y'know,

serve Chinese and Thai and Lebanese

but it's my restaurant so British only.

Oh, yeah, that's cool.

Oh that's it!

You were in my dream last night.

That is officially the worst chat up line I have ever heard

and I dated a Scientologist.

No-no I'm being serious.

I wasn't trying to hit on you.

I-I... Why? What's wrong with me?

Uh, nothing, no.

God, no, Alice!

No, you're, uh, uh...

Todd, it's okay, I'm just messing with you.

Wow.

This is, um, serious déjà vu.

Okay, I hope you don't mind a low-fat version.

No, that's fine.

I could probably stand to lose a few pounds.

Huh, well I'll charge you then.

Oh yeah, of course.

I didn't expect to get this...

No, I was just joking.

Yeah, 'cause you said 'lose a few pounds' and...

Oh, right...'Cause of the English money.

Yeah, I'm sorry, I just, jet-lagged and...

"Death by Chocolate A Recipe for Disaster?"

Oh, we have the same problem in the States.

Yeah, especially in the South and the Midwest.

I mean it's killing us. Oh yeah?

Yeah I mean, you know, they are trying to pass laws

and everything but you can't legislate morality.

What are you supposed to do? Let 'em starve them to death.

Well, you could outlaw fried chicken for starters.

Uh, I guess, sure, uh...

Or even for entrees.

What?

You...you said-you... 'cause you said outlaw... Yeah?

For starters and I was like, "Oh, for entrees?"

You know, starters like on a menu (beeping)

Oh yeah, right, yeah. and then entree...

Your, uh, pounds joke was better.

Okay, you just look away for a minute.

Okie dokey, here we go.

Taa daah!

One club sandwich!

Todd Margaret, brand awareness, marketing consciousness.

It's the third floor, yeah?

Alright.

Hello everyone, I'm Todd Margaret...

Hello, Mr. Margaret.

I'm Vanessa Blojabditz.

Are you my assistant? Yes, sir.

Although technically speaking

I'm still Brent Wilts's assistant,

however I can assist you

if that assistance helps assist Mr. Wilts.

'Cause you see I'm...

Okay, where's Wilt's office?

This way, sir. Alright.

Did you have a nice flight?

Listen, I'm going to need the spread sheets