The Invite

Once more.

How does a horse bark?

No!

Got it?

How does a horse bark?

Once more.

Both hands.

And then... Yeah.

I think you're so flexible.

Okay, I'll give you one more chance.

Um.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

One more, one more.

Um.

Oops.

That was great.

Great job.

Good.

It sounded really good.

Hm, maybe, uh, play it a few more times.

Just to practice, but, good job.

No.

Fuck.

I'll sing a lullaby, I'll tell you things I can't say.

I'll play a lullaby and tell you.

Every moment, you know, how I lift the strings towards me.

But you didn't know the truth.

We were too weak to change anything, maybe you knew, maybe not.

I'm afraid you'll leave me one day Straight from the field, praise God

knows you'll mourn just like a new day has

passed I am like this now when you love me.

I dream of a new day, I admit to myself now that I love you Again and again.

I pray that you'll meet with me one day, and say, come to me.

Girl, you know you'll welcome me, I'll thank you all night.

Now I'm not busy with loving you, meeting you, talking to you, keeping you.

Now I'm not busy with loving you, again and again.

I admit that I love you again and again.

Sweet darling.

Sweet darling.

Sweet darling.

Shoes off, please.

Oh.

Can you please remind me, why you bought me this bike?

What?

This bike, why?

Core.

Spine health.

Remember the doctor said...

You were supposed to fold it!

There's no point in folding a bike.

It folds!

This thing is fucking impossible to fold.

Do you know how hard this is to fold?

It's supposed to be more comfortable than a normal bike.

It's much less comfortable than a normal bike.

And also the wheels, they are so small.

It's like I have to pedal four times to get one normal wheel rotation out of it.

Oh, I'll have to practice maybe.

Where is Maggie?

Hey, Maggie!

No, she's not here.

Where is she?

She's, uh, at a sleepover.

Where?

At Sadie's.

I thought she was having a sleepover with Sadie.

Oh, that's last minute.

Oh my God, Sadie is so weird, right?

I don't know if it's good that she's hanging out with Sadie.

It's fine.

I called ahead, Sadie's mother is single.

There are no men or guns in the house.

You called Sadie's mother to find out if she's single?

Yeah, of course.

Of course.

For fuck's sake, I'm freezing here.

Fuck.

Oh my God, look at all that cheese.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

Leave it, leave it, leave it, leave it, leave it.

Not yet, not yet, not yet.

What is all this?

What is it?

What is that smell?

I'm making a soufflé.

You're making a soufflé?

And there's ninety kilos of cheese for that?

Is there some kind of event?

Are we expecting some people?

Our neighbors.

Which neighbors?

Our neighbors from upstairs.

I told you yesterday.

Remember?

Remember?

You mentioned that for some crazy reason you want to invite them over.

You certainly didn't tell me that they were coming tonight.

Why didn't you ask me about it?

Oh, really, honey?

When did that happen?

I told you.

Yesterday.

Well, telling me and asking me are actually two very different things.

And to be honest, I don't even think you told me.

That's why you weren't going to say any of what I would have said anyway.

Damn.

Did you forget the wine?

The wine?

I texted you.

I texted you about the wine.

We don't have any wine.

Wait, wait, wait.

What are you doing?

Stop.

I need a cucumber.

You two couldn't even have some cheese when you're hungry.

I need a cucumber, okay?

Now you won't want to eat that soup.

I only live on wine.

And we don't have any wine.

This is a nightmare.

It's not a fucking nightmare.

What?

Nothing.

Can you please clean up the office?

Can you please call the neighbors and tell them to come another time?

No.

No.

It's late.

They're coming in ten minutes.

They're coming in ten fucking minutes?

Why didn't you tell me about that?

Because we've been talking about them coming over for like six months, okay and

they were so nice about all our noise from the renovation our noise, you just said

that they were nice about our noise that's crazy, you're making them a soufflé now

those people, what's happening here she said she wanted to see it, just

wants to see it now that it's done and she's so nice, they are so, so, you know

they seem cool and she just, she has such a

presence and just she's so, she's so pretty.

Yeah, she's cool.

But he is a fucking weirdo.

Understand?

Every time I'm in the elevator with him, it's

like, glug, glug, glug, glug, glug, over and over.

You know what I mean?

That's just what people do.

He asks me questions, and wants me to ask him

questions when the eye contact is unbearably intense.

Yeah, that's called conversation.

What is that?

What?

That's a rug.

It's new.

Yeah.

You bought this rug because the neighbors are coming over?

Oh my God.

How much did that string cost?

You're so predictable.

I'm predictable?

Yeah.

Good.

Do it for the string.

Isn't that a bit more predictable?

I could see that coming a mile away.

Can we please try that again?

What?

Can you leave and come back in again?

This is for a podcast.

Yes, it is.

Does that matter?

Do you really want me to leave the apartment and come back in?

Yes, please.

Do it for me.

No, you're fucking naive.

Joe, I'm asking you to just do it for me.

Would that be okay?

Fine.

I'll do it for you.

Yeah?

Great.

So let's do it.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Thank you.

This will fix everything.

Hi, I'm home.

Hi.

How's it going?

Great.

Any, um, plans for the evening?

Yeah, um, the neighbors are coming over.

The neighbors?

Man, I love them.

Look how talkative and curious they are.

It's so cool.

They are really cool.

Maybe you could call them and ask them to come some other time,

because I'm just not feeling it today, you know?