Star Trek: Lower Decks

Captain's log, stardate 58105.1.

The Pakleds continue their unprovoked attacks

on Federation trade routes.

Seeking a cease-fire, the Cerritos

is on a diplomatic mission to the Pakled homeworld,

which they call Pakled Planet.

Starfleet Command entrusted me with this mission

because of our experience with the Pakleds last year.

Negotiating a cease-fire would be a huge achievement.

If you keep doing Picard-level peace-brokering like this,

they might give you an Enterprise.

: Well, I don't know about that.

Remember, it's just the Pakleds.

This shouldn't be too complicated.

Ambassador Grubdin.

Welcome, Captain Janeway.

Pakled Planet is big and strong.

Right. Well, I'm actually Captain Freeman of the Cerritos.

I'm here to discuss a cease-fire.

Oh, I was misinformed.

I do not have a big enough helmet

to make cease-fires.

Okay. Well, then I need to talk to someone with a bigger helmet.

- - Stay back.

Guys, the prisoner Rumdar.

He ran away from Pakled Planet to her ship.

You! Why did you steal Rumdar?

I can assure you, we did no such thing.

Ransom, is there a Pakled on my ship?

- That's an affirmative, Captain. -

This ship is strong. I can live here now.

- We think he's requesting asylum. No!

Until she gives Rumdar back,

Janeway stays here!

Guys, it's pretty cool that the captain

- gets to negotiate peace, right? - Uh, yeah.

- I'm sure she's thinking the same thing. -

Nothing ruins breakfast like a work assignment.

Oh, no, anomaly consolidation duty.

- Oh, yes! Ugh.

- I got it, too. - So did I.

- What's anomaly consolidation? - You get to go around the ship

and collect the bridge crew's research materials

- from their missions. - It's trash day.

It's our bosses, who have accumulated all sorts of stuff,

saying, "Hey, peons, come pick up our trash."

Dangerous science trash that can't just get recycled

in a matter recombinator.

We have to pack it up and send it to a facility.

Could be a nice break from our usual duties.

Maybe it'll be fun.

Oh, sweet, sweet Tendi, no.

ACD is the most degrading day of the year.

Don't listen to her. This is gonna be great.

Sorry.

I-It's just the face that you made.

I couldn't help it.

Okay, all right. We're all having so much fun.

- At my expense. -

Hey. Boimler, right?

Heard a lot of buzz about your time on the Titan.

: Oh, uh, Ensign Casey. Hi.

- You guys heard about that? - You're a legend. Listen,

we've got this little club where we help each other rank up,

and right now we're down a member.

P'jok got promoted to the Ventura.

- What? No way. - That's what the Redshirts do.

We help each other land promotions.

One day we'll all be captains.

You call yourselves Redshirts?

Cool name, right? Makes us sound invincible.

But why would you want me to be one? I mean, I got

the red shirt, but is there, like, a form I need to fill out?

You served with Riker.

That kind of experience is super valuable.

Listen, there's gonna be an acting captain's duty

up for grabs later today. Only us Redshirts know about it.

Acting captain? Like, l-like on the bridge?

You tell us Riker stuff today,

I'll get you in the running for the big chair.

But... I have ACD.

: Anomaly duty? No sweat.

- We'll pull some strings, get you out of it. - Uh...

- I don't know. It's awesome that you served

on the Titan, but there has to be a reason

you're back on the Cerritos.

You don't carry yourself like a leader.

We could help you with that.

- But if you're not interested... -

Uh... wait.

- I'm in. Let's do this. -

Excelsior.

Unbelievable. Boimler's cozying up

with those brownnosers to get out of trash day?

- Such a great call. - More trash for the rest of us.

- I smell adventure. -

So, what has you seeking asylum?

Religious persecution? Leading a rebellion?

Some sort of sex stuff?

I want to see how the shields work.

You want to see our top secret defensive schematics?

Yeah, and your crimson force field, too.

Uh, I will see if it's operational.

You getting "Bazminti when he pulled back the veil" vibes

- from this guy? - Oh, yeah. Captain Freeman?

Our Pakled refugee appears to be more of a Pakled spy.

What?! He hasn't gotten anything, has he?

- No, I think we'll be okay. -

He just took a photo of his own foot.

- Hmm, this could work to our advantage. - Oh. Ah!

Maybe he'll reveal something about the attacks.

Keep him talking.

- On it. Oh!

Ransom's always going on fun away missions.

You just know he'll have crazy anomalies we can check out.

Oh, great. A pile of unlabeled crystals.

You're supposed to keep stuff like this in a lab.

Ignoring protocol.

Yeah, one of the perks of being a commander.

Oh, man!

Ooh, this is neat.

You can tell from the occipital bone

that this was one big froggy.

Tendi, whoa, easy. I think that's from the planet

where everything evolved all weird.

- -

Uh...

Oh!

- -

- Aah! Whoa!

Whoa, Rutherford, you're blowing up.

- It's altering his biomatrix! - : Whoa, whoa!

- I got a big ole body. -

- Stop moving around. - Oh!

- - I can't stop.

I'm big beyond belief. Oh, no!

Tendi, grab the red vial.

Got it.

Smear that crap on his nose.

- : Ugh. - You just experienced

- full molecular engorgement in a matter of seconds! -

Did it feel amazing?

Hey, Boimler, how often did Riker clean his trombone?

- - Oh!

Oh, constantly.

It was actually kind of disruptive.

I need to learn to blow something brass.

Okay.

So, that was our top secret Starfleet gift shop.

Next, how about we show you the, uh, high-security juice bar?

No! Now I want to see the warp core.

Sure, sure. We'll get you there, big guy.

We're not exactly dealing with the Tal Shiar here.

Let's see if we can get him to tell us about their systems.

Wait.

Where'd he go? Computer, locate Pakled refugee.

No Pakled detected. - What?

Did he leave the ship? Did he somehow cloak himself?

- Unknown. - Zinda, his eyes red.

I'll check engineering.

Okay, let's see what the next awesome anomalies are.

- -

Um...

Oh.

You want a rotten mushfroot?

Uh, no, thank you.

I just want to talk cease-fire with whomever's in charge.

Oh! Janeway turned down mushfroot.

Her Mushesty the queen!

Ah, Your Highness, allow me to...

You can't kill Rumdar. Rumdar is our prisoner.

We will kill Rumdar.

I can assure you, Rumdar's in good hands.

Nobody is killing Rumdar.

Prove it. I want to talk to Rumdar.

Ransom, put the Pakled refugee on the line.

Uh, actually, we've temporarily lost track of him.

What?!

Rumdar is, uh, in the bathroom.

But he said that you should negotiate a cease-fire.

Oh, I don't have a big enough helmet to do that.

Are you me?

Boimler,

you need to look like a leader

if you want people to treat you like one.

First, you've got to fix this posture.

You're like this

when you need to be like this.

- - Oh, wow.

I didn't realize my spine went that far.

- That's new. - Now, this outfit? Oof.

This is not a good look.

We all wear this. It's a uniform.

- The captain literally wears the same thing, and she's... - Right now

this uniform is wearing you.

Easy to fix with a few modifications.

- Ooh, did Riker modify his uniform? - What? No.

I mean, I guess they had to put a lot of extra room

in his pants. For his legs, I mean.