Noi the Albino (Nói albinói) (Noi Albinoi) (Nói albínói)

Noi, I think you're going to be late for school.

Noi, you're going to be late for school.

Hello.

Kiddi! What are you doing here?

I've come to raise my son. - Isn't that a little bit late?

Oh, shut up Mum.

What are you hanging around for? You're late for school.

I'm coming.

I got this letter from your headmaster.

He's talking about poor attendance. Is it true, Noi?

How come YOU got this letter?

Well, maybe because I'm your father.

You're a bright kid, but you lack punctuality and discipline.

Now... how is the expression...

Punctuality is the key to The Temple of Discipline.

The Temple of Discipline doesn't sound too cosy.

Well, you know what I mean.

Sorry I'm late.

Maybe evening school would suit you better, Noi?

Or a correspondence college perhaps?

Is something going on? Yes, a maths exam is taking place.

Did we forget to send you an invitation?

Teacher sir? Can you lend me a pencil?

Here you go.

What's this supposed to mean?

Nothing.

Are you handing it in like this?

Yes.

And what mark do you think you'll get for it?

Zero?

No, no, no! You get zero point five for writing your name!

Really? That's better than I expected.

I don't serve customers without a proper greeting

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

I'll have a bottle of malt ale.

Listen to this:

Either you get married or you don't get married,

You will regret both.

Laugh at the stupidity of the world; You will regret it.

Cry over it; you will also regret it.

Laugh at the stupidity of the world,

or cry over it; You will regret both.

Either you laugh at the stupidity of the world,

or you cry over it; You will regret both.

Hang yourself; You will regret it. Don't hang yourself,

You will also regret it.

Hang yourself or don't hang yourself, You will regret both.

Either you hang yourself or you don't hang yourself, You will regret both.

This, my dear gentlemen, is the core of all human wisdom.

What was that?

Some fucking piece of bullshit.

Kierkegaard... = Graveyard... That's a suiting name for such an idiot.

What are you doing?

No garbage in my store. I got to get organized.

Give it to me then.

I don't give things away.

Good afternoon. - Good afternoon.

Are you new around here?

Yes.

I'll have a bottle of malt-soda.

Drink it here? - What?

Do you want to drink it here?

Would you like me to? - No. Not specifically.

Then why do you ask? - Because there are two ways:

Either you drink it here and return the bottle afterwards,

or you pay extra for the bottle and take it with you.

Was that the only reason?

Are you retarded, or what?

No, just a joke.

Lets get it over with.

God damn it, kid.

Its uncanny how lucky you are.

Have you seen the new girl at the petrol station?

You leave her alone.

What do you mean?

Iris is my daughter

She needs to take a break from the crazy city life.

And if you don't leave her alone, I'll break your neck!

Bonjour. Today I'll teach you how to make real mayonnaise.

To make mayonnaise you'll need ...an egg... some oil... mustard...

I start by breaking the egg

What is left?

In Icelandic the yoke is red, in French the yoke is yellow.

Red equals yellow, OK? Write that down!

This only applies to eggs.

I add the mustard...

Stir, and add the oil.

I continue stirring.

Never ever switch hands... Never turn the other way around.

And never ever stop...

- Sorry to bother you, is Noi here?

Well that is one way of looking at it.

Noi, can I have one word with you.

Is something wrong?

No, no.

Never ever stop.

Oh no,

unfortunately,

its ruined.

We have a Psychiatrist in the school for a couple of days

And I think it might be a good idea to let him take a look at you

What for?

Oh, just a little check: See if everything is alright.

Why me?

Well, maybe because there have been a few incidents regarding you

And then its just splendid to use this opportunity - Here.

Can I refuse?

Don't be silly. He is not going to hurt you. Just a little chat.

Good afternoon. Have a seat.

Are we in a good mood today?

Yes. Guess so.

I have a few questions for you

Answer according to your best conscience,

and don't take too much time to think.

Ready? Yes.

Do you sometimes dream yourself?

I don't know.

Do you hate animals?

Not at all.

Do you walk around in your sleep?

Not that I know of.

Are you afraid of flying.

I never tried flying.

Do you see yourself as being dirty.

No.

How often do you masturbate?

Is this a part of the test or just personal interest?

Yes, it is... a part of the test.

How often do you masturbate?

You are answering the questions, not me.

If you answer me, I'll answer you.

I'm not here to joke around if that is what you think.

I am here to help.

Lets just forget about this... here is an ID test.

I'll be right back.

Elvis!

Get out of the sofa.

Elvis Aaron! Your damn hair is all over the place!

Sorry about the state I'm in, my boy.

I've got this awful toothache and I can't even leave the house.

Must be a loose filling, I've never suffered such pain before.

That's better.

Damnit.

Is it fun at school?

Its alright.

That's good.

Any cute girls at school?

You haven't started having sex yet?

You're not homosexual, are you? - Shut up.

Listen,

I'll teach you a trick that never fails:

You ask the cutest chick: Have you put on some weight?

I promise you, she won't leave you alone until you have...

Slept with her.

It never fails!

Just remember to use a condom.

Unwanted children don't let you know they're coming, you know what I mean.

I think I'll go now. - Really? Am I being boring?

Drunk.

Sorry Noi. This toothache is just... - See ya.

I'll phone you next week and take you out to dinner. Ok?

OK.

Hello. - Hi, Kiddi here. Listen, I'm in such pain I was wondering

Whether you could cover my shift. - I don't know.

Please Noi, do it for your old man. You can get half if you want.

OK.

That's the spirit. Just remember to be careful.

I'll be killed if something goes wrong.

OK, bye.

I'll have a bottle of malt ale ...I'll drink it here.

Can I have one?

Don't you know how to smoke?

Its no big deal. Try again.

Don't suck like that,

just inhale twice slowly, first into your mouth, then into your lungs.

Like you were saying "Amen" while you inhale.

That's better.

Hi.

Good evening. - Is Dabbi home?

Greetings. - Hi.

Do you wanna go for a ride? - I have to do my homework.

Homework? You've got your whole life to do that.

I don't know.

I think I'll just stay home. - Close the door! I can feel the draft.

Can I come in, then? There is something I have to tell you.

Some other time. Dad doesn't allow guests in the house.

Am I a guest? - Common, you know how Dad is.

David! Close the door, I say.

See you later, then?

Aron. - Yes.

Benedikt. - Yes.

David?

Yes.

Marta. - Yes.

Marteinn. - Yes.

Noi?

Not here.

Alfred? - What?

Noi is sort of here...