Toto the Hero (Toto le héros)

To my parents, Suzanne and Armand

I'll kill you!

I'll kill you, Alfred!

Stupid cops! What will they make of this?

That you choked on a sweet,

strangled in a curtain,

drowned, shot in the back?

Nobody will think it was me!

Nobody will recognize me after all these years.

Not even you, Alfred.

It won't even be a murder!

I'll only take back what's mine.

The life you stole from me the day I was born.

My life!

My life!

God wasn't paying attention, picking his nose

and you lived my life for me!

You thief!

You've been smoking again?

It's so simple. So perfect.

I just ring your doorbell...

You open the door, and bang!

Bang!

You don't even know it's me. You don't recognize me!

You don't even know why [ fired... But I do!

I haven't forgotten a thing, Alfred.

Not a thing!

You've stolen my life and love.

I haven't lived. Nothing ever happened to me.

Nothing ever happened in this guy's story.

Nothing!

TOTO THE HERO

Once upon a time, there was a nothing

who came from nowhere...

Then he fell... splash!

A big ship found him, and took him to his parents.

That's what his mother told him.

Then he met his mum and dad.

They said his name was Thomas Van Hasebroeck.

And that was that.

His mother called him "the baby".

And baby used to sing:

Ding-dong, the firemen, going to a fire

I didn't start it

It's the little chap

Then his mother danced.

When you wee-wee, first it's hot,

and then it's cold. It smells funny.

Mum smells nicer than dad.

When you hit mum, she screams.

When you pull the cat's tail, he screams.

The plane doesn't scream.

You can throw it or kick it.

In the morning, dad kisses mum, and mum kisses her little boy.

That's me!

In the morning, dad goes behind the door.

If you look, he's not there: He's at work.

In the evening, dad opens the door. He was behind the door,

but you couldn't see him because he was behind it.

Dad is funny.

When he hides you can't see him.

At night, everything is dark. You can't see anything.

When cats are dead, they can't see either.

The nice cat just lies there.

They have a good rest.

Abracadabra!

The sweet is gone. It's working.

Daddies are misters,

There's another daddy next door.

But he's not the same as my daddy.

But he's not the same as my daddy.

I was born in a fire.

Mummy says it's not true. But I remember.

Mummy says it's not true. But I remember.

I do remember...

The boy next door is called Alfred.

He has the same birthday as me.

Hey, Alfred!

I've got something to tell you.

What do you want, Van Chickensoup?

Your parents are my parents. Not yours.

We were swapped when we were little.

Your parents are mine, and mine are yours!

No one noticed because of the fire.

That's what happened.

Your house and car are mine too.

I swear that if you tell anyone, you're dead!

Got that? I'll kill you!

Kill me then! What are you waiting for?!

The clock goes tick-tock

The birds go splish-splash

The turkeys go gobble gobble

And the bell goes ding-dong... But boom/!

When our heart goes boom!

Everything goes boom with it

It's love, love, love!

Boom! It sings love in bloom

To the rhythm of this boom

Which repeats boom in your ear

Since yesterday everything ls different

And the streets have eyes

There are lilacs, and hands outstretched

The sun will brighten the sea

Boom! The sun goes boom!

When our heart goes boom-boom, Everything goes boom with it

Here's your present!

Daddy is a plane driver.

Mummy doesn't want me to go in a plane. Because it's dangerous.

One day dad fell In mum's garden.

And stayed there.

Then mum smoked a cigarette.

Dad licked mum's hand,

and that's how Alice was born.

Célestin

was born in a washing machine.

That's why he's funny.

Hey! Van Chickensoup and his loony brother!

My name is not Van Chickensoup!

They say you fly like a bird.

Alfred and I saw you at your window trying to fly.

Go on, show us!

Fly a bit over there,

go between the two poles, and come back here. OK?

Leave him alone!

Go on, fly!

No, don't act like a bird! Do something else!

There are only old people here!

I hate old people!

I'm coming, Mr. Kant.

Take care.

All fishing boats have been told to look for the plane.

We'll just have to wait.

I think highly of your husband.

If I'd known, I wouldn't have asked him...

Is it yours?

It's very nice.

Can I see it?

Thomas!

Mr. Kant! I... Excuse me, but...

I have no news about my husband. Nobody will tell me.

I know as little as you. Go home and wait patiently.

- How can I wait patiently? - Leave dad alone!

I'm not responsible for what happened to your husband.

I asked him to fetch some goods from England.

For the opening of my shop. That's all.

I didn't ask him to take any risks.

You asked him to leave in a storm!

Your husband agreed.

I didn't ask him to be a hero.

I just asked him to transport some goods.

What kind of goods?

Marmalade.

We came to warn you... If our dad isn't found,

you'll have to answer to me!

It's going to be awful!

Mr. Kant, you and everybody will pay for it!

So, I hope for you they'll find him soon, if not...

When I grow up, I'll be a secret agent.

Everybody will say: Look! It's Toto the hero!

Young Thomas has become a secret agent!

My mum and dad will be proud of me.

And I'll protect my daddy from nasty Mr. Kant!

Thomas! Help!

Ha, ha, ha! Secret agent!

Secret agent!

- Have you seen Thomas? - He's in his office.

This machine won't leave here until the boss says so.

What about the people in 3107

They have to cross the whole building for a cup of coffee?

Yes... And we have less parking places than anybody else!

And people will say: It's young Thomas!

He's a secret agent now.

Hello, Thomas.

...and I'll marry a princess.

Take it easy, princess.

Yes, that's me?

My mother?

Yes, I'm her son...?

What?

What time is it?

9 minutes past 3.

I hadn't seen mum since...

It's silly. I would have liked to see her just one more time.

I must be home by four.

We've lots of time.

Ask me the time.

It's 9 minutes past 3.

No, you must ask.

But I know the time.

Ask me!

OK. What time is it?

The time it was yesterday at the same time.

You don't get it, do you?

What are you going to do?

I don't know.

I'm going to try to change.

Did you know that cigarettes

cause 60% of all cancers.

Alice?!

Alice!