The Simpsons Movie

(rousing orchestral fanfare playing)

(RALPH screechily singing with fanfare)

(Theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey playing)

We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere.

-(crowd cheering) -Hey, how you doing?

Good to see ya. Thanks for coming out.

SCRATCHY (calling in distance): Itchy... Itchy...

Boring!

Dad, we can't see the movie!

I can't believe we're paying to see something

we get on TV for free.

If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker,

especially you!

(rock band joins in on The Simpsons theme)

Excuse me, my heinie is dipping.

-(others groan in disgust) -(loud thud, grunt)

All right, well, thanks a lot for coming.

We've been playing for three and a half hours.

Now we'd like just a minute of your time

to say something about the environment!

(crowd quiets, crickets chirping)

-(loud booing) -You suck!

-Shut up and play! -Preachy!

We're not being preachy.

But the pollution in your lake,

it's dissolving our barge!

I thought they touched on a vital issue.

I beg to differ.

Gentlemen, it's been an honor playing with you tonight.

For the latest rock band to die in our town,

Lord, hear our prayer.

Lord, hear our prayer.

I hate being late.

Well, I hate going.

Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way--

by praying like hell on my deathbed.

Homer, they can hear you inside.

Relax. Those pious morons

are too busy talking to their phony-baloney God.

: How you doing?

Peace be with you.

Praise Jebus.

-(video game gunfire) Ga-ga, goo... (groaning)

Now, today I'd like to try something a little different.

I'm going to call on one of you!

: Now, the word of God dwells within everyone.

I want you to let that word out.

-Let your spirit... -Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh!

What is it, Ned?

The good Lord is telling me to confess to something.

: Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay.

An immodest sense of pride in our community!

Somebody else?

Let the Lord's light shine upon you.

-(heavenly choir singing) -(snoring)

Feel the spirit. Let it out!

Horrible, horrible things are going to happen!

And they're gonna happen to you and you and you!

-And you! -(gasps)

Whoa, Nelly.

People of Springfield, heed this warning!

Twisted tail!

A thousand eyes!

Trapped forever!

Dad, do something!

Uh, uh, this book doesn't have any answers!

Beware, beware! Time is short!

Epa! Epa! Epa...!

Believe me! Believe me...!

Thanks for listening.

Okay, who wants waffles?

GRANDPA/BART/LISA: I do! I do! I do!

Wait a minute. What about Grandpa?

-I want syrup. -I want strawberries!

Something happened to that man.

I'll tell you what happened to him.

A certain someone had a senior moment.

But that's okay, because we love him

and we got a free rug out of it.

What is the point of going to church every Sunday

when if someone we love has

a genuine religious experience, we ignore it?

Right, Grandpa?

I want bananas on my waffles!

I rest my case.

I'm not dropping this.

Wait a minute! I'm still in the car!

Oh, right.

Hmm...

"Take out hornets' nest."

Check.

"Fix sinkhole."

Check.

"Reshingle roof"?

Steady...

Steady...

Ow-how-how!

-Ow-how-how! -(laughing)

: Why, you little...

I'll teach you to laugh at something that's funny!

: You know, we are on the roof.

We could have some fun.

What kind of fun?

How about a dare contest?

That sounds fun.

I dare you to...

climb the TV antenna.

Piece of cake.

Earthquake!

Aftershock!

(playful grunting, Bart laughing)

Uh, Homer, I don't mean to be a nervous Pervis or anything,

but if he falls, couldn't that make your boy a parapleg-erino?

-Shut up, Flanders. -Yeah, shut up, Flanders.

Well said, boy.

-Yeah! -Yeah!

Steady... steady...

steady...

Hello. Sorry to bother you on a Sunday,

but I'm sure you're as worried about the pollution

-in Lake Springfield as I am... -(door slams)

Lake Springfield has higher levels of mercury than even...

Why, it's the little girl who saved my cat.

-Lake Springfield... -(door slams)

(door slams, bell rings, ship's horn blows)

: Oh...

-(door creaks) -Come on over, Lisa.

You can canvass me as long as you want.

Milhouse, you don't care about the environment.

Hey! I am very passionate about the planet!

Say global warming is a myth!

It's a myth! Further study is needed!