Sleepaway Camp

Hey, get away from me with that pail of water. I'll kill you.

Hey, what was the elbow for, asshole?

Yeah, nice pitch! Get two, get two, get two!

Cut it out! Daddy, tell him to leave me alone.

- Peter started it! - I did not, you liar!

- Did too. - Did not.

Alright, let's settle down and stop fighting.

She started it.

That looks neat. Can I try it, Daddy?

Maybe in a couple years, if we ever get a motorboat.

Can we go to the camp one summer? I bet they'd show us there.

Well, I don't know about that.

Hang in there, Dolore! You're doing great!

Can't we stop now?

Hey, Craig. How about letting me take her out once, huh?

Come on, Mary Ann. You know I can't do that.

Oh, don't be such a stiff. I know how to drive these things.

My old man's got one twice as big.

Yeah, and is your old man gonna give me a job when I get fired?

Lighten up, will you? No one's gonna see us way out here.

Oh, so you think it's funny, huh? You little schemers!

Come on. Please?

Alright.

Super!

But look, just for a minute.

Not too fast!

Hey John, we gotta go meet the Doc.

John! It's almost 4:30. Doc's gonna be here soon!

Come on, fellas. Doctor Thomas is on her way up.

- Aunt Martha's coming? - Is Ricky coming too?

Nah, I'm afraid he's spending the weekend with his father.

You look like a skiing hunchback! Straighten up, will ya?

Turn! Turn the boat!

- What'd she say? - I don't know.

Hey!

There's a boat!

Stop the motor. Holy shit! Turn it!

Turn the wheel!

- I can't turn it! - Give me the wheel!

John!

Oh my God!

Somebody help those people! Get in the water!

Get them onto the boat, please! Oh my God, we just hit them both.

Oh my God.

Somebody help them. Please.

Help them! Please! They're gonna die, I know it! Please!

Hurry! Help them! Please help them!

Oh my God, we just hit them both.

Hurry, sweeties. We don't want to be late for the bus.

Goodness, no. That wouldn't do at all.

Richard. Angela. Oh, here you are.

Look what I did. I packed you and your cousin some goodies

for the ride up to camp. Wasn't that nice of me, hmm?

Any Chips?

Why, of course. I believe there's a whole bag.

I'm almost sure of it.

Angela, isn't there anything special my little girl would care for, hmm?

We gotta go, mom. It's getting late.

Well of course you do, dear. We wouldn't want them to leave without us,

now would we?

No. No, I'm afraid that that wouldn't do.

Come, children. Let's be on our way.

Now what?

I believe that I've forgotten something. Now, what can it be?

Oh, I remember what it is. I knew I would forget.

I just kept reminding myself. In fact, I tied a string around...

Around my finger, so I wouldn't forget.

See?

And I didn't. You never can be too careful.

Well, what is it already?

Oh, just a moment! I'll be right back!

Good old Mom's at it again.

Here they are! All filled out and signed by yours truly.

Wasn't that nice of me, hmm?

- What are they? - Why, they're your physicals, of course.

We can't go to camp without our physicals, now can we?

Just be careful not to tell anyone how you got them.

Oh, no, I'm afraid that they wouldn't approve of that at all.

Even though they know that I am a doctor.

No matter what they do, I'll never tell.

Oh, you're such a dear.

Well, run along now.

- So long, Mom. - Goodbye, my angel.

I hope you have a good time. But of course you will.

Take good care of my little girl, Richard!

- Goodbye, Mom. - Goodbye, dear.

Look at all that young, fresh chicken. Where I come from we call them baldies.

Makes your mouth water, don't it?

Artie. They're too young to even understand what's on your mind.

Ben, good buddy, there ain't any such thing as being too young.

You're just too old.

Ahh! Ricky, how you doin'?

- Paul, great to see you. - You winning?

Ah, you know. Same old shit.

- Hey, this is my cousin Angela. - How you doin'?

She's kind of shy, I guess. You know, first time away from home and all.

Listen, I got to take her down to the bunks. I'll catch you down the hill, ok?

You got it.

Hey, Rick.

Wait'll you get a load of Judy!

Man, oh, man.

Oh, yeah?

You'll see.

Me and Judy were steadies last summer.

Hey, you'll probably be in the same cabin.

These are all the girls' cabins.

Over there is the rec hall. Next to that is Ronnie's shack.

Behind that's the archery range. There she is!

Judy! Yo, Judy! How you doin'?

Alright.

Who's the wimp?

Oh, that's Ricky.

Wasn't he the kid you were babysitting last year?

Guess I'm not good enough for her anymore.

Well, here you go, Angela.

If you need anything, I'll be in bunk 19, below.

Second from the bottom.

- Who were those guys? - Just some boys I met today.

Weren't they a little old for you?

Don't you know girls mature before boys?

That's bullshit and you know it.

Ricky, I don't have time for your nonsense right now.

Well, excuse me. Bitch.

Alright, ladies. Let's hurry it up and unpack

so we can get these trunks the hell out of here.

By the way, for those of you who don't know, the name is Meg.

M-E-G.

This here is Susie. You got any problems, this is the complaint department.

Got it? Ok? Capische?

What are you looking at?

What, are you taking pictures? Quit it!

You must be Angela. Remember? Ronnie spoke to us about her.

Looks like we got a real winner here.

You ain't kidding.

Quiet, please.

Thanks for nothing.

Quiet, please.

See what I mean, Ronnie? She hasn't even touched it.

Angela, Meg tells me you haven't eaten much since you've been here.

Is that true?

You won't get a peep out of this one. She hasn't said a word in three days.

Tell you what. How about if you and me take a walk into the kitchen?

See if we can find something you like. That sound okay?

I'm gonna take her inside to see Artie. She'll be alright.

Probably a little homesick, is all.

Come on, Angela.

He's starting to spoil the little brat already.

Hey Ben, is Artie around? Artie, can I see you for a minute, please?

Hey, Artie. Be a little more discrete with the beer can, huh?

Sure, Ron. What's up?

I want you to meet one of our new campers. Angela, this is Artie, our head chef.

Well, hello there, Angela.

Can you get that, Ben? Please?

As you can see, she isn't very talkative.

In fact, she isn't much of a fan of your cooking, either.

You think you could find something for her? Some ice cream, or, you know...

Phone for you and Mel, Ron.

Do me a favor. Get Mel, will you?

See what you can do, okay, Artie? I'll catch you later.

No problem. I'll find something she likes.

I'll bet we can find something interesting in the walk-in.

You never know what you can find in there.

Where's my cousin?

Ronnie took her into the kitchen.

- She eat anything? - What do you think?

What's her problem, anyway? She don't eat, she don't talk, she don't do anything.

Why don't you leave her alone? She's just quiet.

If she were any quieter, she'd be dead.

So Angela, see anything you like?

Maybe I can help you decide.

You sure are a sweet-looking little cupcake, ain't you?

Yeah. Think I got something you're gonna like real good.

Hey, what are you doing?!

Keep your mouth shut, you hear me?

You didn't see nothin'! Got it? Nothin'!

- Sure. Whatever you want. - Now get the hell out of here.

Hey, What's going on?

What was that all about?

Guess I scared him.

I guess so.

Want to check on the water? About done over here.

That damn water better be done. It's been on a half hour. Shit!

- Gimme that goddamn chair. - All yours, my good man.

It's still got a couple minutes to go.

Gonna grab some hay before dinner. You coming?

- Yeah, after I throw the corn in. - See you later.

Boiling yet?

Atta girl.

Motherfucker, you could have killed me!

Now get the hell over here and help me down.

Come on, kid.

Get me down and I'll make you a nice ice cream sundae, okay?

Hey, what the... What the hell you doin'?!

You little shit!

When I get down from here I'm gonna rip your fucking head off!

Ben! Help! Ben!

Ben! Get the hell in here! Ben!

Help! Ben! Ben!

Ben!

I'm afraid I don't carry a sedative strong enough to mask