House

Mrs. Hooper?

Mrs. Hooper, I brought your groceries.

Hello?

Mrs. Hooper!

I'm gonna leave the groceries right here.

I'll collect next week, OK?

Hello?

Mrs. Hooper?

Sick!

Mrs. Hooper. It's me, the grocery boy.

Mrs. Hooper?

Our sister has gone to her rest in the peace of Christ,

the faith and hope and eternal life.

May the Lord now welcome her

to the table of God's children in heaven.

May we have a moment of silent prayer?

Elizabeth wasn't crazy, Roger.

A little senile, maybe, but...

just wasn't like her to go and do something like that.

- Thank you, Mr. Jones. I appreciate that. - Now, my wife, she's crazy.

But, your aunt, she was a good woman.

OK, everybody, back up a few steps, would you?

Give Mr. Cobb some room to sign your books.

Aah!

"To my good friend, Johann."

- Here you go. - Great book, man.

Mr. Cobb, we've been waiting a long time.

Can you tell me what your next book is going to be about?

Um...

It's about my personal experiences in Vietnam.

- Uh, the war? - Yeah, that's right.

Oh, uh...

Great.

Are you really married to Sandy Sinclair?

I was, but we're divorced now.

I just wanted to tell her that I think she's a marvelous actress.

She's a very talented young lady.

I'll tell her that.

- It's a great book. - Thank you.

- I like your hair. - Thanks.

I've never missed her show,

not once, since it's been on the air.

- She is so enchanting to watch... - Who are these lunatics, Frank?

Your most devoted fans.

...crackers and Kool-Aid, no big deal...

I'll treasure this. Always.

Roger, "Blood Dance" was released over a year ago.

We can't keep doing the same autograph sessions any more.

Your fans are hungry for something new.

- Got anything? Five pages, anything? - Frank!

Look, Roger, if you don't have a new book on my desk by the end of the month,

you're gonna have to pay the advance back to Doubleday.

Then you're really gonna be up the creek.

Come on, Roger, you have already lost your wife over this thing.

Ha!

Are you gonna throw your career down the toilet, too?

- Rog, you have to get back to your life. - Frank, come on!

And listen, while we're on the subject of the book, Roger, nobody...

Nobody wants to read about the goddamn Vietnam War any more.

They wanna read a good horror story.

Frank, would you listen to me for a second, all right?

I know this book has been giving me a problem, but it's something I have to do.

I've got to write this book.

'Federal Bureau of Investigation.'

Hello, um... Agent Thatcher, please. Tell him it's Roger Cobb.

- Tell him it's urgent. - 'I'm sorry, he's on another line.

- 'Can he call you back?' - I'll wait.

'Yes, Mr. Cobb?'

Uh, hear anything?

'No, afraid we don't have anything new about your son.'

- But you'll call me? - 'You know we will.

'Um, by the way, I got a call from Decker at CIA.

'Please do me a favor. Leave him alone.'

Yeah.

- Thank you very much. - 'You bet. We'll call you.'

Hello?

- 'Roger.' - Yeah.

What's that noise?

The guys have got the music turned up. Hold on a minute.

Hey, guys, would you turn that down?

I mean, I'm on the phone, for crying out loud.

Yeah.

Uh, I'm sorry, this poker game's getting a little out of hand.

- Who's there? - Uh...

Oh, a bunch of guys, you know.

I'm calling from the awards party.

I lost.

Oh, gee, I'm sorry to hear that. The awards, I forgot all about it.

Um, I've been busy working.

Are you writing again? That's wonderful.

- Um... - Sandy, I'm sorry.

- Hold on. Thanks. - Tough break.

'Can't win them all! I was just calling'

to tell you I got your message. I'm sorry about your aunt.

I went to the house.

Roger, why do you keep doing this to yourself?

- OK, everybody, let's look happy. - Why can't you just...

'Can you hold on just one second?'

Hold on, wait... Sandy, I got to go.

Uh, listen, I'm holding up the game.

So, uh, I'll talk to you later, OK?

- How's this? - OK. Roger?

Yeah?

- Come on, babe, smile. - Nothing. Bye.

Goodbye.

Hello, Sandy? Sandy!

I'm such a jerk.

Well, here's the lucky man.

- Mr. Parker. - Mr. Cobb.

It's a pleasure to see you again. How was the drive?

- Well, actually it wasn't... - Good, good, good.

- Glad to hear it. - ..too bad.

You know, I didn't expect to hear from you again so soon.

I just got the "For Sale" sign up yesterday.

I can assure you everything's in order.

It really wasn't necessary for you to come all this way.

It's all right. I wanted to.

Your uncle was quite a fisherman.

I understand he held the US record for two years with that one.

Uh-huh.

As you can see, we cleaned the place up a bit.

Planning to hold the auction next month.

We can get a lot of money for some of this junk.

Now, if you'd like to follow me this way, I'll give you a little tour of the place.

It's all right. I know my way around.

- I grew up here. - How's that?

When my mother died, my aunt raised me.

I had no idea. What a remarkable woman!

We also cleaned up the pool.

Jimmy?

Jimmy.

Jimmy?

Jimmy!

Jim!

Sandy?

- Sandy. - Is something wrong?

- Honey, is Jimmy in there with you? - No, I thought he was with you.

- He's not. - Check in the back?

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Jimmy!

Mr. Cobb, are you OK?

- Yeah. - Let's move on to the studio, shall we?

This'll make a great guesthouse.

Bathroom over there, knock through a door, hot tub Jacuzzi.

Kitchenette goes here.

Hey, you know, got a nephew named Manny,

he's in the construction business, works cheap.

He could do a heck of a job with this place.

Worse comes to worse,

person could, uh, lease out the big house and move in here.

Creative financing.

Say, whatever happened to this uncle?

Oh, he was diving for abalone off of Point Reyes...

Oops, sorry about that.

You know, your aunt was quite a painter, let me tell you.

You take a look at this, will you?

She must have been working on this right before she died.

Gives me the creeps. Morbid little woman, wasn't she?

That's the closet in her bedroom.

It's the same room where she hung her...

Where she passed away.

You know, she thought this house was haunted.

Get outta here!

You're kidding, aren't you?

Mr. Cobb, your son is not in the pool.

Your son is nowhere in the neighborhood.

I'm telling you I saw him in the pool.

He was in the swimming pool. And I ran and I dove in.

And he wasn't there.

Mr. Cobb, we've got an APB out on your son.

We'll let you know as soon as we have something.

It was the house.

It was the house that did it.

Right, Mrs. Hooper, we understand.

I'm telling you, Roger, it was the house.

Will you shut up? Will you shut up just for once, you old bat?

Touchy.

I'm sorry, Mr. Parker, I'm not selling.

- What? - I said I'm not selling.

Well, I hope you reconsider.

I think I'm going to stay a while.

Do some work.

Ow!

Hello?

Hello?

Aunt Elizabeth.

It won, Roger.

It tricked me.

I didn't think it could, but it did.

What?

It's going to trick you, too, Roger.

This house knows everything about you.

Leave while you can!

No!

Hey! Hey!

Morning.

She's pretty, eh?

Hi.

Howdy, neighbor. Just move in?