6 Month Rule

I just, I think I'm not ready.

- Is this how it was with those other women?

You get bored, scared or whatever,

create a little drama so that you feel justified

in walking out of a good relationship?

- I just, I don't think it's supposed to be this hard.

I mean, we fight all the time.

We don't fight.

We fought tonight.

- What? - What?

It's not you, okay?

You're great.

I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay.

Okay.

You okay?

No.

Perfect.

Forget it.

Fuck you, Tyler.

Fuck you.

Here we go.

Can he do it, can he do it?

I pity you.

You know why?

Because you're a cynical, shallow coward

and you're gonna die alone.

Alone!

Thanks for wasting my time.

Sold out.

Cool.

There's some good shots in there.

What?

The book, it's really good.

Okay.

I'm coming off as creepy, sorry.

The reason that I'm the stranger

standing here in the photography section

of this bookstore talking to you,

is that that's my book.

And you're looking at my book,

and I thought that was cool.

This is your book?

Yes.

You're Tyler Watts.

I am Tyler Watts, yes.

Nice picture.

Thank you.

Hmm, so is this like a thing you do,

you come here and wait for girls to pick up your book?

- Oh no, I don't come here to pick up girls.

I come here, wait, this is embarrassing too.

I'm okay with it.

I come here to see if anybody bought my book.

There are seven, see,

and if they're less than seven,

then somebody's bought one.

Are there ever?

Ever what?

Less than seven?

There used to be eight.

Somebody bought one on January 10th, 2007.

Oh, that was a long time ago.

I peaked early.

Do you still shoot?

- You know, Hut Hut Hamburger, the chain restaurant?

The little pictures of food on the menu?

That was me.

It's pathetic.

Are you drunk?

No.

Yes, slightly.

This a regular drunken activity for you?

I'm gonna be honest with you.

It's happened before.

- Uh oh. - What?

Five-O.

Five, oh.

- Hey man, did you put these books over there?

- No. - Yeah, you did.

You put these books in the clearance section.

Why would you do that?

'Cause it's fucking weird.

Do you not like books about spoons or something?

It's just a bunch of pictures of spoons.

Yeah.

No, no, I don't like it.

Fucking weird.

Having a late night?

It's early yet.

Have you been drinking?

Hardly at all.

- You look like you've been having a bookstore night.

- You don't tell people about that, do you?

Oh, my sensitive little artist.

Yeah.

Seriously, don't tell people about that.

You leaving?

You know the rules.

Oh right, the rules.

How silly of me, I forgot.

So when did you break up with the ad exec?

Last night.

Wow, well you're consistent at least.

Where is my shirt?

- Living room. - Living room.

So how long was this one?

Four months-ish.

Hi.

Yeah.

- You know we've been doing this for two years now?

- That is absolutely my longest relationship.

Me too.

God, me too.

Do you think that's weird?

What?

- That the longest relationship either one of us

has ever had is a totally uncommitted one?

- You've been reading self-help books again, I can tell.

This ad exec.

I mean, what was wrong with her, really?

She was corny, I didn't like it.

And she laughed way too loud.

That's a huge rationalization.

I didn't think she'd take it so bad.

Well, she was in love with you.

Hey Alan.

Hey, Ty.

What's up man?

Can you, look, I really need

to talk to you about something.

- This is the best thing that could happen.

I disagree.

No, I'm serious.

She's out of your life.

You are back on the market.

This is a disaster, Ty.

You are about to upgrade, my friend.

I really don't think you understand

the depth of my heartache.

- I understand, and I feel bad, I really do,

but I wish you would snap out of this.

Look, girls come and go.

That's just how it works.

Friendship, that's the only lasting thing.

It's a rule.

A rule?

That's what need.

I really loved her.

Well, you know who else you loved.

Elizabeth?

Who was the redhead?

- Harriet. - Harriet.

And where are they?

I don't know.

And who's standing here next to you?

- You are. - I am.

That's right.

Friendship, it's the important thing.

Not some bitch who walked all over you

and then kicked you to the curb.

- She didn't walk all over me and kick me to the curb.

Don't call her a bitch either.

Hey Kenny.

Yeah.

- One word you would use to describe Claire.

Who's Claire?

Alan's ex.

- Oh, the chick who used to order the mojitos all the time?

Yep.

Bitch.

Thank you.

Great, no, thank you.

Hey, let me ask you a stupid question.

You got the ring back, right?

Don't do this.

- Alan Alan Alan. - Don't do this.

Look me and the eye

and tell me you got that engagement ring back, man.

That was a gift.

Oh my God.

You have clearly lost your mind.

Boys, this one's on me.

Need that.

- Alan, here's to getting rid of the mojito bitch.

You guys have any idea

how long it takes me to make a fucking mojito?

Jesus, will you give her a break?

She has a sophisticated palate.

Where you staying?

Staying on the couch.

Whose couch, her couch?

No, no, no, no.

- Yeah, I'm staying on our couch, big deal.

You can stay on my couch.

Why would I do that?

- You'd rather stay with the girl who broke your heart

and desperately wants you out of her life.

God, have a heart.