Baby's First Christmas

It's Christmas Eve, and you know what that means,

time for everyone to embrace the joy, the hope,

and the faith in their lives, to be at peace with each other,

and of course for all our listeners out there:

the arrival of--

the Christmas Baby.

Gentlemen, it is already Christmas.

I'm begging you, as your lawyer,

please do not takethis to trial.

If you do not fight this,the long-term damage

will be far greater thanthe short-term gain.

Can you imagine whatyour competitors will do

once they get theirhands on disclosure?

The specter of a congressionalsweetheart deal married with

the potential of insidertrading, all completely untrue.

Interest over ego.

But if you don't defend it, thenyou might as well be guilty.

All people willremember is the...

Long-gain! Short-gain.

The long-gain! The short-gain!

The long-gain! The short-gain!

Congratulations,congratulations.

You made theright choice.

Oh,aha sorry.

Merry Christmas,Jenna.

You think you'reso smart.

No. Do you know whythose guys fell my way?

You think you'Because they wantso smart.their money today.

Not tomorrow when their companyhas been bought, dismantled,

and sold six times over beforethis could have been litigated.

You like the longfights so much,

you should have goneinto environmental law.

For once I agreewith you, Kyle.

And for your information,I accepted a position

at an environmental lawfirm in San Francisco.

And for your information,Really?I accepted a position

When doyou start?

First of the year.

So-- Merry Christmas,Happy New Year.

You know I've alwayshated Christmas.

You just gave me a greatreason to celebrate.

Merry Christmas,Jenna.

Merry Christmas.

...Uh, little bit of both.I threw it while I kept it.

There's mybrother.

Talking to my sister.

Hi.

Hey.

Hi.--Sorry

Hi.

Hey.

Nice to see you.Hi.Good!

Oh, perfect.

Well it was really nicemeeting you, Trish.

Likewise, Jim.

Yeah...maybe I'll seeyou at the punch bowl.

For sure!

Yeah, I don'tthink so.

I like him!

I'm gonnabe sick.

I'm gonnabe sick.

Ugh.

Ugh.I know--

If it weren't for him youwould have never met.

If it weren't for her youwould never have met.

I'm just so glad I don'twork with him anymore.

Oh, by the way, I'm notsitting next to her

Christmas morningon the couch.

And if he so much as starts withthat conservative agenda...

I am not gonna beresponsible for my actions!

I mean the manlives in a bubble.

You shouldn't let Karen be alonewith her, unless you want your

daughter turning into a feministwho never wears a bra or shaves!

Enoughabout him.

I'm very excitedto see you guys

and I can't wait tomeet my nephew!

I'm excited to see you guys andI cannot wait to meet my nephew.

Ladies and gentlemen a special

cancellation announcment, all passengers on flight 403...

Oh, come on! Oh, come on!

You've gotta You've gottabe kidding me. be kidding me.

I'll call I gottayou back. go.

Hi.

Hey.

Hello?

Hello?

Ugh, Trisha?

Did you talk toyour brother?

Yeah.

He just abruptly hung up.

Same with my sister.

Is it a mistake having themboth here for the holidays?

Ugh.

Yes.

I mean...No.Ugh.

It's Christmas.

It's about family, even ifthey are polar opposites.

Last Christmas they spenttogether, I swear, I saw the dog

and the cat working togetheron an escape plan.

When aunt Jenna anduncle Kyle get here,

are they going to playthe silent game again?

If we're lucky.

Jim!

What?

They're suchstress balls!

Well, you know,they're older now, Karen.

And maybe they've...mellowed out.

No?

I don't know.

So--

Let me get this straight,you can't get us on a flight

until tomorrow,and that is a maybe?

Yes and asking fifteen times isnot gonna change the answer!

Next please!

I'll handle this,counselor.

Excuse me,I uh...

I was on that New York flightas well, and uh-- Well...

You can probably findus a couple of seats

on a later flight ormaybe just one for me.

I heard that.

I'm sorry, Sir,unfortunately there

are no flights untilthe weather clears.

Listen, Audrey,that's a beautiful name.

Did I mention that, uh,I'm a platinum member?

Can't we just worksomething out?

Sir, it is an icestorm out there, okay?

We will notify you as soon asa flight becomes available.

But--

Take your platinum as soon asmembership cards available.

and enjoy theadmiral's lounge.

Next please!

Lady--

Next!

The ice storm hasfrozen your heart.

You've lost allof my sympathy.

Seriously, you thought yourplatinum status would matter?

Well, it hasin the past.

You have fun.

I'm driving.

Wait, Jenna!

At the risk of this being theworst idea in the world...

Stop-- It alreadysounds bad.

We could split rental,and take turns driving.

No, no... That is theworst idea in the world.

Oh, come on...It's gonna takeyou three days to get there.

If we take turns and alternatewe can get there in a day.

By Christmas Eve,huh?

No-- I...I...

Ugh...

Okay.

But no smoking.

I quit.

Well, I weara patch.

And nopolitics.

From youeither.

And none ofthat rap music.

It keepsme awake.

Try coffee.

No countryeither.

What aboutTaylor Swift?

She's like more ofa crossover artist.

Then I getKanye.

No country,no rap.

Fine.

Christmas is almost here and you know what that means:

the arrival of the Christmas Baby.

Ugh.

It's not that funny.You could drive.

Why do peoplealways say "hey"?

It's not a Russian weddingor a Bar Mitzvah.

Because Christmas isfun and you're not.

You haveno idea!

Oh, really?

Really?

All right.

Okay.

Do you like decoratingthe Christmas tree?

Oh, please, putting astring through popcornOkay.

is not myidea of fun.

What about watchingChristmas movies?

Everybody loves'It's A Wonderful Life'.

I'd prefer whenit's over.

Are you serious?

You are aScrooge.

You're anythingbut fun.

That's not true.

In college theycalled me "K Fun".

I remember this one time Ihad these three blondes...

Stop--

I don't wanna hear aboutyour glory days, thank you.

New topic please.

Whatever. What do you thinkthey're gonna call the kid?

Well, I know what they'renaming their child.

How doyou know?

Because I take an interest in mybrother and your sister's lives.

I'm interested, I'm just alittle more busy than you.

I mean,I have a life.

Um, besides I--I...

I don't do wellwith babies.

When Karen turned three,I was okay because she