Passed Away

I'm telling you, Tommy, I never felt better in my life.

Everyone should have a heart attack. Even you.

Especially you.

No, I'm not in my office. I'm in Johnny's truck.

Because they won't let me drive yet.

I can't even take a piss without asking the Pope.

Look, Tommy, what I want you to... Tommy?

Tommy? Hello?

- What the hell's... - Hey, hey, hey!

Hey.

The lighter doesn't work.

You mean you got a telephone in the truck and no cigarette lighter?

- What kind of values did I give you kids? - Mom said I shouldn't let you smoke.

Your mother married me. What the hell does she know?

Hey, come on! Put that thing away.

You just had a major heart attack, for Christ's sake.

He's here.

What the hell is eating you? You and Amy still going at it?

- Amy and me are fine. - Good.

Cos you mess up with her and you're crazy.

That woman is the best thing that ever happened to you. Amen.

Hey, I er... got a buyer coming to look at the business tomorrow.

Who?

You remember Norm Gillis?

- Norm Gillis?- Yeah. He runs a fishing fleet on the Cape.

I know who Norm Gillis is. What about him?

- He's looking for new partners.- Are you out of your mind?

- I knew you'd like it. - Oh, boy.

It sounds like one of your brother's harebrained schemes.

Did you ever wake up one day and say, "To hell with it"?

Not go to work.

Not deal with the union.

Take a trip. A risk.

Yeah.

You don't know what I'm talking about.

I know what you're talking about.

Yeah?

- You had the urge to do that? - Of course I did!

- What did you do? - Oh, you'd be surprised, Johnny.

What?

I'll tell you sometime.

Tell me now.

You come by the house tonight.

I will.

If you need anything, anything at all...

ask Frank.

Go chop down a tree!

See you tonight.

- Faye. - Good morning, Mr Scanlan.

- Hey, boss. - Hi, Mr Scanlan.

- Morning, BJ. - Good morning, Mr Scanlan.

The union social committee sent the plant.

These are are your calls, your mail.

One more thing.

Welcome back.

Surprise!

Dad?

Poems are made by fools like me.

But only God can make a tree.

If I have to listen to that poem one more time, I'm gonna puke.

I told you, Mrs Wysocki, we're helping this tree.

- Johnny, you got a call. - Thanks.

- Chuck. Down. - Let me take that.

Yeah. Up and down my whole life.

I got more mileage than an astronaut and I'm where I was 20 years ago.

I hear you.

- The murder weapon. - Mrs Wysocki, look at that tree.

It's smiling. Hey, do me a favour.

Keep and eye on the murder weapon for me. Thank you.

- Hello. - Johnny.

- Frank? - Dad's dead.

I don't know how it happened.

He was alive one minute and then he wasn't.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me before. I think I killed him, Jack.

Are you there? Did you hear what I said?

- I killed Dad. - Calm down.

Frank, calm down!

- I killed him. - Stop saying that. You didn't kill him.

- How did it happen?- I set up a surprise party for him.

You know, to welcome him back.

We were all in his office, waiting for him.

He opened the door like he always does.

We yelled "Surprise" and he dropped dead.

- You gotta be kidding me.- You're blaming me too, aren't you?

No, I didn't mean...

Of course I'm not blaming you.

I don't know what to do.

Everybody's waiting for me to say something. I don't know what to say.

Frank, listen to me!

- Just listen. - What?

- Did you call Mom? - No, I called you.

OK, now, what you gotta do is call her doctor.

- Dr Doyle? - No, not Dr Doyle.

- Why not? - He's a dentist, that's why.

- Oh, right. - Dr Goodman.

- Dr Goodman. - Now, you call the funeral home.

- I killed him, Johnny. - What?

- He came back to work and I killed him. - He was an old man.

He's just got over a massive heart attack.

- Right, he did. I didn't kill him, did I? - No. No.

Of course you didn't kill him. No.

I'll see you at Mom's.

He killed him.

It's about time.

Thank you, Aunt Maureen. Is my mother upstairs?

- She is. - Where shall we put all the food?

In the kitchen, I guess.

- What about these fruit baskets?- What church is the service in?

- I don't know. Why ask me? - You're the oldest man in the family.

- Next to die. - Thank you, Aunt Maureen.

I wouldn't have thought of that if you hadn't reminded me.

- My condolences, Johnny. - They're all yours.

- Father... - Please...

- God took him, Johnny. - He's in a better place now.

- I want your father laid out here. - In the house here?

I told Francis. I want a fine Irish wake.

Nothing shabby about it. He deserves that.

We'll give Dad a wake he'll never forget.

- You're getting lines in your face like him. - I know.

- You should put something on them. - I know.

- You're my oldest now, Johnny.- I've always been your oldest, Mom.

I need you now. You won't leave me, will you?

No. Of course I won't leave you.

Where else am I gonna go?

Come on. Get some sleep.

- Who's taking care of the body?- The Syracusas.

You should have called the Fitzregans.

- They did a beautiful job on Tom Walsh. - He looked better dead than alive.

Mr Scanlan, my heart goes out to you during this trying time.

Deirdre Floss. Greenside Realty.

- Your sister-in-law called... - The body's still warm.

- John Scanlan? - Yeah.

Here's Francis now. Let's ask him.

Answer some of these questions.

- Thank God you're here, Francis. - Is my brother here?

- Nervous as a fish on Friday. - Excuse me.

- Johnny. - Yeah.

- Frank, I'll take them. - Thanks.

- How's Mom doing? - She's asleep.

Can you believe Aunt Maureen? She loves a funeral.

- Where did you get the band? - At the office. They're for when people die.

In here, guys.

- Did Mom tell you the wake's here? - Who's paying for this?

This is gonna be big, Johnny.- Yeah.

Did you call Terry and Nora?

Nora's in a convent. They can't use the phone.

Send her a fax.

- They've got a fax? - I sent her one after Dad's operation.

- In the kitchen. - I'll call Terry from Dad's office.

Where do you want these cases, Mr Scanlan?

You'd pay three times what I charge anywhere else in the city.

- I give everything to your alimony. - I haven't gotten a cheque in six months.

I don't make that kind of money.

The hell you don't. You have two shows on Broadway and six national tours.

No-one wants me in New York. They don't want dance.

They want chandeliers and helicopters. I don't speak to Broadway.

You don't speak to Broadway, fine. Speak to my lawyer.

Hello.

Johnny. Hi.

What's the matter?

God.

When?

How?

You're kidding.

How's Mom?

- She's fine.- Oh, man. I can't handle this.

You gotta come, Terry. He was your father.

- Dad hated me. - Who said that?

- Your psychiatrist? - No, Dad, a couple of Christmases ago.

Oh. And you didn't say the same thing to him?

Terry. Mom needs you.

I'll be there. You know I will.

That's my girl.

- As soon as possible. - OK.

I love you, Johnny. Bye.

My father died this morning.

I fear death terribly. Don't you?

Not as much as I fear my family.

Boyd.

- I'll make you a deal. - What kind of a deal?

You can use my studio any time you want...

rent-free.

- What do I have to do? - Come to my father's funeral with me.

Is that all?

As... my husband.

Oh.

You still haven't told them we're divorced.

- I love it.- I haven't gotten round to it, OK?

- It was four years ago. - So what?

I'm not gonna tell them now.

What would I do up there?

Francis.

Johnny.

My sincerest condolences in this difficult time.

Your father was a wonderful man.

He helped me when I was negotiating a contract with the gravediggers.

Louise.

My sincerest condolences in this difficult time.

I understand the wake will be in your home.

For a man like your father, a wake at home is only fitting.