Togetherness

Togetherness - 01x02 Handcuffs

Oh shit.

Real coyotes.

Fuck yeah!

Hi.

- What is going on here? - Ah, fuck!

Jesus fuck.

Are those pantyhose?

- Y-yeah. - Who wears pantyhose?

Kate fucking Middleton.

- Can you just... can you... - Hey, little dude.

Tina, just... I'm...

- As you were. - Fucking knock.

You wanna eat your Cheerios?

Mmm, that's good.

God! Get off my plate.

Don't eat my stuff, don't be in my shit

every second. Barging in on me...

Brett barging in and the kids are fucking all over me.

I'm gonna get a fucking lock and put it on my door.

Okay, okay.

You need to get laid.

- That's a horrible idea. - Why?

It's that every part of my life is just, like,

I know what it's gonna look like.

Every day I wake up, I know what the day is gonna be like.

Brett and I have sex, I know what the sex is gonna be like.

- Really? - Yeah. It's kissing,

neck kissing, boob grab, genital touching,

- get the pillow, and then... - "Get the pillow"?

Yeah, I said that like it's a thing.

What the fuck is "get the pillow"?

I feel bad, I feel like I'm betraying a confidence.

I'm just your sister. What is "get the pillow"?

- I need to know what "get the pillow" is. - Okay, he... when he...

when he is ready...

To come?

No, to... to...

put his... dick inside me.

Uh-huh.

He's like, "Let me get the pillow."

"I'll get you the pillow."

like... and every time I'm like,

- "Oh, okay." - That is rough.

It's to put under my head so that my head isn't banging around.

I want my fucking head to bang around.

I know, you're like, "Bang my fucking head,

- "you fucking puss." - Fucking knock me out!

- Please. - I totally agree.

Okay, what are your fantasies?

Like, if you could do whatever you want, what would you do to Brett?

I guess it would be like... just, like...

to just shake him out of it, you know?

Yeah, yeah.

- Like, make him lose control. - Right on.

'Cause he's so, like, rigid.

None of my business, but totally agree.

- What else? - I wanna scare him

and ruffle his feathers.

- You know, like... - Yes, yes.

I want it to be just, like, spontaneous

and crazy, and being pinned down

and pinning him down.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

Like, fucking... just wanna punch him in the face.

I'm sorry.

Not... I think this is great!

No, no, I didn't mean to laugh.

- Can I tell you something? - I'm sorry that I just told you that.

No, that's what you have to do.

I mean, you don't have to beat him up,

- but that's what you have to do. - I think he would laugh.

I think he would be like, "What are you doing?"

So fucking make him stop laughing.

So you gotta do it.

Tonight I will take the kids... pizza and ice cream.

And you guys will have the house to yourselves.

That's like...

really soon.

Yeah.

Boy, have we got a surprise for Daddy!

He's not gonna know what hit him.

Literally.

See, I'm not scared of the Canyon Killer.

But people texting and driving...

now that scares me.

That bothers me more than anything.

You all right? I'm gonna give you my jacket.

It's really cold out here.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

It's great, it's great.

I know this is hard,

but you have to try and remember something.

Do you think the nightmares are just gonna stop?

Whoa, what was that?

Hmm?

That sound. What was that sound?

You mean the coyotes?

What happened to the coyotes that we had before?

Well, technically, that sound wasn't a coyote.

It was an Alaskan wolf.

And I actually went out and I recorded coyotes,

so those are real coyotes.

I seriously doubt that that's what an actual coyote sounds like.

It's fine, let's just go back to the other one.

I mean, just to be clear, that was... that was a coyote.

Like, if there's something texturally you want different,

but that other sound was a wolf,

which is not a Southern California thing at all.

So... if you want that, that's fine, but it would be factually inaccurate,

you know, for the area.

We can go back to the previous take. No problem.

Nah, it's okay. What was your name?

- Brett. - Right, Brett.

I appreciate your research.

I respect the hell out of your sonic acumen,

but your coyotes sound fucking stupid.

Come on, Philip, let's take it back.

Okay. Back to one.

See, I'm not scared of the Canyon Killer.

But people texting and driving...

Okay, I'm just going to put the baby down.

'Kay. Okay.

Yoo-hoo.

Alex, time to get up.

I have some life insurance.

$15,000 policy.

Alex, come on.

- Al-ex. - I'm sleeping.

I'm sorry, what? Do you see this?

- Look at this. Look at this. - Yeah.

- Eh, don't worry. - No, no, no, no, no, no.

Don't... don't clean up for him. Are you kidding me?

He's having such a hard time and we just...

I know he's going through a hard time, but this is not the way to deal with it.

- Yes, it is. - He needs to get up, get outside,

- and go on an audition. - This has happened before.

He goes on auditions.

- What? - They're for depressing commercials,

where he's gonna play a hot-dog vendor

or a hemorrhoid.

Do you wanna play someone's ass problem? No.

If it's gonna pay me, I'll frickin' do anything.

You should be kicking him out of your couch...

No no, I should not be... and out of your house.

Because it's like a beached whale situation.

Okay? You just have to wait for the tide to come

and gently wash him back in.

Why do you even care so much?

Because he's bugging me.

- No. No. - Yes. Yes.

No.

Motherfucker!

Now that was for your own good.

Who the fuck do you think you are?

Tried the nice way. What makes you think you can just come in here

- and do that? - I need somebody to help me

with my party-supply business.

You're saying that you need help from me,

so you decided to douse me with freezing-cold ice water?

Come on. Up and at 'em.

Let's get you bathed.

Let's get you clothed.

Let's get you out the door and in my car.

Come on. I'm actually glad you did that.

Let's go, come on.

Because now I owe you one.

I can't wait. And you're not gonna know when it hits you.

- Come on, let's go. - There's literally nothing you can do

to make me help you today.

What if I show you my boobs?

- What? - You heard me.

- Are you serious? - Yes, I'm dead serious.

Okay, like, how would it work? How long?

You know, flash 'em. Mardi Gras style.

Just like, "Throw me something, mister," and then down?

Throw you something, mister, and then down.

Okay, but it would need to be more than just a Mardi Gras flash.

Do you wanna get a couple lawyers involved or do you want to see my tits?

No, no, no, no, no. I like where we're headed.

I'm just saying, the duration of the boob exposure

needs to be, like, five seconds.

Four.

- Four Mississippi? - Three apple.

- How about we do three Mississippi? - Done.

Okay. Shit.

- Are you ready? - Yeah, I'm ready.

- Are you sure? Okay. - Go for it.

One Mississippi.

Two Mississippi.

Come on, come on, come on. Don't look at my face!

- Oh, Tina! - That's interference.

We start over. I get at least one more Mississippi on that.

No fuckin' way... Okay, one Mississippi.

Brett?

Yeah?

I don't know how to say this,

other than...

can you please not argue with the director repeatedly?

Phil, I'm not trying to argue with the guy.