Death Trip

You're so special.

I can't even see. I think you have lipstick all over your mouth.

I probably do too. I don't know. Is it that bad?

It's not bad.

I love you so much.

So special.

Fucking love you, Kelly.

Nobody makes me feel like this.

Kelly. Come on, wake up.

Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly. Kelly.

I'm awake!

Garrett's gonna be here in five. Let's go.

Kelly. Garrett's gonna be here in five minutes.

You know he's a stickler for this kind of shit.

So, we got this fucking new guy at work. The guy's name is DJ.

You know those dudes from Vancouver? They're all the same, you know?

They just want to smoke weed and skate and smoke weed and skate.

This guy he calls in sick yesterday. I have to cover his shift.

I'm walking home, after service, I see this guy skating.

Wow.

Where's, uh, where's Glenn?

Oh, that's another fucking thing.

Dramatic.

I don't know. He just, like,

has to work this weekend all of a sudden, which is very convenient.

He has to work, he has to work, you know?

Yeah, whatever, but, like, it's the emotional aspect that's, hurt...

I'm allowed to feel bad about it.

Why are you taking... Of course you are. Why are you taking his side?

- A lot of times... - Is this, uh... This is the place right here?

It's coming up. Yeah. Right there.

Yeah, she's ready. I'm gonna go get her, okay?

- You excited? - Yeah... yeah.

It's gonna be fun.

It's gonna be really fun.

Okay.

All right. Let's go.

I think actually to call it a cottage is a bit disparaging. It's a chalet.

Oh!

Wow. That's a bit too much.

There are toilets. There is running water.

Are we talking about, like, an outside toilet, though? Is that what this is?

We're not talking about outside toilet. We're talking about an inside toilet.

Okay. I'm sorry. I haven't been here before.

And the last time we went there was, like, ten years ago,

- so things could have changed... - It was not ten years...

- Yes, it was. - It was seven.

It was ten years ago, yeah.

- And you drove up in the same car? - Yeah.

- It's actually a van. - "Technically"

This van got me quite a bit of "attention" in high school.

MELINA, TATYANA & KELLY: Oh!

See what I'm saying.

Just, like, your mom, your sister.

- What the fuck? - What the fuck happened?

Uh-oh. But we're in the country.

What happened?

We're stuck.

- Oh, shit. I mean... - I'm sure it's fine.

This car's, like, really old.

As long as we're not here for, like, hours on end.

And, like, the people around here are friendly, right? Yeah.

But, like, when are "they" gonna be here?

When are they coming up here?

Well, that was my concern.

Just someone passing by and seeing just three clearly city womens.

"City women."

- Do you need help? - Naw. It's all good. I got this.

Okay.

Yes! See?

- It worked. - It's worth opening.

All right.

Ingenuity.

Who is that guy?

That's just Bruce Kingsley. He lives next door.

He's also watching us.

He's a good guy.

Is everything okay?

Do you think it's, like, kinda weird...

Like, being back here after what happened last time?

It was a long time ago.

What are they doing?

Hey!

- MELINA & TATYANA Garrett! - Guys, guys, guys.

No, okay. There are people that live here. We can't just, like...

- Who? - Who lives here? We didn't see any car.

The Kingsleys live right next door, um, the Bowins live up the road...

All those names sound fake.

No, they're real people. They're real people, okay?

Okay. Okay.

All right, this is the place. It's, uh, pretty simple, you know? Cottage-y...

- Wow. - Um, yeah. There's...

So, uh, we got one room here. Couple of bunk beds.

You can share that room. This is my room.

It's, like, my... Y'know. It's a bit embarrassing, but...

Over here, there's the, uh, master bedroom.

It's the largest room in the house.

Um, there's just... There's one thing about it,

is that my grandfather did pass away a couple months ago.

- Oh. - In this room?

Yeah. He died in his sleep, so it's not...

That doesn't make it...

It's not haunted or anything.

Someone's got to sleep there. We'll figure it out.

- I vote you. - It's not going to be me.

- It's haunted. It's a haunted room. - He died in the room?

Okay, okay, okay! We're gonna... We're gonna draw straws.

Okay.

Okay, let's do it.

Oooh.

Oh, no, Kelly.

That sucks.

I feel like Melina was a great sous-chef.

- Thank you. - I think...

That is incorrect. Maybe, like, a great dishwasher/part-time prep...

Wow.

Gets fired a week after...

I'm sorry not all of us can be a line cook at a trendy restaurant, Garrett.

- Jesus Christ. - Hey! I'm... They've been scouting me for sous-chef.

- Oh, yeah? - "Scouting you"?

- What does that even mean? - Did you get "scouted"?

- Tina told me that, uh, some people... - "Tina".

Were talking about, uh, me being... Me being sous-chef.

- Tina's a liar. - Tina just wants in your pants, Garrett.

Tina's not a liar.

I think that she has a crush on him.

Oh, absolutely. Tina's been eyeing you...

Look at him. He's so excited.

- Is she 17? - Stop.

- You are the latest... - Tina is a friend of mine.

She's, like, 12. She's so young looking.

- Maybe I'm wrong. I don't really know her. - She's not. She's 18.

Oh, my God!

- No, she's 18. - That's unacceptable.

- That's gross. That's fucked up. - Legally, she's allowed to make up her own mind.

- Ohh... kay! - Guys, come on.

Hey! What are you... What are you doing?

You can't smoke that in here.

You just called me like a dog.

No, no, no.

- Get out. No, you gotta take it outside. - Relax! Relax!

Melina!

- This is my parents' cottage. - She's getting wild.

This isn't your, like, loft you know? This isn't, uh...

You can't just kick back in the bean bag chair.

Relax, relax. I'm no Tina, but, uh...

Tina can take a lesson from this one.

- Hey! - Come on...

- You're, like, polar opposites. - Noisy shit, like...

- Right. - But, like, it's, like, I understand, like, inherently,

you can only really get down with the two step and that's fine.

- Give us some m... Yep! No. - Oh, my God.

It's just too erotic. I can't even look.

See, that is why I cultivate my life, so that I don't have to see...

- Oh, my God. No, no, no, no. - ...things like that.

- Thank you. - You're welcome.

You know, I'm just being vulnerable. I'm being, uh...

Guys, guys, guys. You guys gotta come.

- What? - Why?

- It's... - What... what?

I'm not gonna spoil the surprise, okay?

See, I told you it was worth it.

She should know that we can see her. This is insane.

You know what? Maybe she knows and she just doesn't care.

I like that. I like that narrative.

- I think that's fine. - I like her.

- What do you think her story is? - What's the deal?

100% she works at Tim Hortons, like, down the road.

Totally. And you know what?

Honestly, she would, uh, look cute in that uniform.

I wonder who she is.

- I wonder what her life is like. - That's, uh, that's Megan.

- You know her? - She's Bruce's daughter.

Her, uh, her family would go to this cottage for the summer when, uh, my family was here...

And then, like, around 13, her mom died...

And they moved back here to live permanently.

And when I came back the next summer, she didn't want anything to do with me.

Oh?

It's crazy and the weirdest thing is that there's all these rumors

that her dad killed her mom...

- Oh. - Are you serious?

Yeah, it was, like, a really fucked up... Fucked up situation.

You know, I can... I can see it.

I can see it in, like, her... in her hair

- You can see it in her hair? - It's just, like, murder, murder, murder?

- She's definitely a Leo cusp. - No.

- No way. Leo Capricorn cusp? - I like it.

- Rising. - There's no way.

- You are full of shit. - She's way too bashful to be a Leo.

- Are you kidding me? - What's like a shy sign?

I feel, like, she's, like, a Taurus?

Look at her, she's obviously a Libra.

Like, there's a fire, like, a stubborn...

Has this never happened to her before? Like, she's at a window.

I would like to think that she does know that it's happening...

You guys! Look at this!

She doesn't care.

- Oh, my God. - You're having a moment. You love her, too!

- Guys, guys. Let's get inside. - Garrett.

- We are guests. She lives here. Get inside. - I love her.