Next of Kin

This is a waste of time.

I am not going to listen to you anymore.

-Peter will hear us quarrelling, and he shouldn't.

-Let him hear us quarrel. -He should be hearing us

trying to instil some values in him,

get through to him about what he's gonna do with his life.

I say he should be hearing me.

I think it's time-- -he's hearing you.

But I think he's hearing the wrong things from you.

My god! What a life this is.

Why do I have to put up with this?

I have to go to work this morning.

My name is Peter.

I'm 23 years old,

and I've lived at home all my life...

Watching my parents dislike each other.

For a while, I thought that was a pretty exciting thing to do.

But in the past year or so,

it's all begun to get on my nerves.

So what I've been doing instead

is spending a lot of my time... pretending.

Happy birthday to you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

happy birthday dear Peter

happy birthday to you

Peter: I FIGURED OUT A LONG TIME AGO

that being alone was easier if you became... two people.

One part of you would always be the same, like an audience,

and the other part would take on different roles,

kind of like an actor.

-Now before we start, I'd like to point out those cameras.

They'll be videotaping our conversation.

After this meeting, I'd like each of you to view the tape,

sometime over the next week.

Now it's important that you watch it alone.

Use one of our rooms on the ninth floor.

Then, when we meet again,

we can talk about your reactions to what you see,

and what you think of the way you're behaving.

Okay? Good.

-Is that s ystem hooked up to a... A s ynchronizing generator?

Yes. Now... good.

Could someone tell me what's brought you here?

-Right now, our big problem is with Peter.

He doesn't want to do anything with himself.

Is that right, Peter?

I guess, yeah.

What do you do all day?

He pretends.

-Is that right, Peter? Do you make-believe?

-Sometimes. -Why?

You enjoy it?

I guess, yeah.

Do you have many friends?

Why not?

-I... I find it difficult to communicate sometimes.

Are you lonely?

How old are you? -He's 23.

I asked Peter.

Is that right? Are you 23?

Yes.

-Does your mother usually answer questions for you?

Sometimes.

A lot of the time?

What time do you get up in the morning?

He usually sleeps in.

Do you stay up late?

Then why do you sleep so much?

Mr. Foster, what time do you usually get up?

-Oh, at a quarter to six, six o'clock.

-You go to work? -Yes.

-Is it a good job? -Oh, yes!

-And you work hard at it? -Yes.

-Take a certain pride in what you do? -Uh-huh.

-Then how is it that you've raised a son

that doesn't want to work, has no pride

and pretends that he's somebody else all the time?

-I-- -is it necessary to be so blunt

about all of this? -Maybe Peter's trying

to reject your values. Is that it, Peter?

You don't want to be like your parents?

-Oh, I have nothing against them.

You love them?

Hmm.

Very much?

Peter: LOOKING BACK ON OUR SESSIONS AT THE FAMILY CLINIC,

I've come to realize something:

I envy therapists.

I mean, what can be more exciting than...

Than getting to know another family,

trying to solve their problems?

What can be more satisfying than...

Than giving direction to other people's lives?

Father: I DON'T HAVE TO LISTEN TO THIS.

I have to go to work in the morning.

Yes, you have, Gary, if we want to get through to each other...

And through our son. -This is a waste of my time.

-So how's your family? -Not bad.

And yours? -So so... you know.

-How's your mother coming along? -She's better.

And your wife?

-She told me she spent the weekend with another man.

-You're joking. -Then tried to commit suicide.

-How about your husband? -Oh, he's great.

Very cooperative, very... open about his feelings, you know.

-Well, that's a start. -Yeah, I suppose.

-I owe to show you my family sometime.

-Do you have much tape of them? -Six hours.

-Colour? -Black and white.

But I shot it in room 304. -So you're happy about--

-oh, the lighting is as even as you can hope for.

-It's so hard to get the flesh tones.

-Can I help you? -Yes. I'm here to see a tape.

-Which one? -Foster.

There you go, doctor.

You're new here, aren't you?

-Yes. I'm working here this morning.

Miss minuchin had a medical appointment.

Nothing serious, I hope?

-She had to get her teeth fixed. -Ah...

And what's your name? -Liza.

Liza...

My name is Ted, but most people around here call me Teddy.

Well, I'm only here this morning.

-Oh, call me Teddy while you're here.

-Room 153 is free. -Thanks, Liza.

You're welcome... Teddy.

Mother: HE DOESN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH HIMSELF.

Therapist: WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY?

Do you have many friends? Are you lonely?

How old are you?

Does your mother usually answer questions for you?

Then how is it that you've raised a son

that doesn't want a job, has no pride,

and pretends that he's somebody else?

-Is it necessary to be so blunt about all this?

-Maybe Peter is trying to reject--

Peter: FOR 23 YEARS,

I've been raised as my parents' pride and joy.

That's gotta change.

I want control now.

Hi, Sarah.

How are things out there?

This is a tape of the session that I mentioned to you in my letter.

I've included a file on the family,

which will help to give you some idea of their background.

As you'll see, there's a ghost member that I'm dealing with here:

A son who was given up for adoption.

Though the shape of the absent child

placed a stress on the family's equilibrium,

this session proved quite effective

in releasing the tyranny of their missing son.

I hope you find it helpful.

Why do you think your daughter left home?

-Because she don't respect me, that's why.

-Why do you think she doesn't respect you?

-Because she act like a big shot.

In what way?

The way she dresses.

Look at her.

-Is that all you're angry about, George? Her clothes?

-She dress like a... Like a whore.

Do you think she's a whore?

When you talk, do you listen to her?

Yes.

She doesn't think that you do.

She don't listen to me!

-Then why do you treat her like a child?

Because she make me angry.

How?

-Huh... just... she just... She just does.

-Are you sure you're not angry about your son, George?

About bedros?

Are you sorry that he's not here to make things better,

to follow in your footsteps?

Are you angry with azah because she rejects the values

you believe your son would have accepted?

You gave your son away when you came to this country.

-We had no money. -So you gave him away.

A few years later, you had a daughter. You kept her.

She's in this room with us right now.

Does that upset you?

What are you thinking, Sonya?

I want us to be happy.

-All right. Let's play a little game.

I want us to pretend that I'm your son.

That I'm bedros.

Let's say that I've just come into this room.

Hi, Sonya.

Hi, George.

Aren't you gonna hug me?

Are you afraid that I won't listen to you either?

Do you think that I'll find you ignorant?

That I'll be embarrassed by your accent?

Well, I am.

You're just a lous y foreigner, a lous y peasant!

No wonder people don't trust you... you smell!

-George! George! -Don't hit me, George!

Go on, hit your son as hard as you want!

Dr. Sarah: DID EVERYONE HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY