Up to His Ears (Les Tribulations d'un Chinois en Chine)

THE ADVENTURES OF A CHINESE IN CHINA

Sir! He has probably hurt himself.

Oh Arthur, Arthur! I loved him so much. What should I do?

Be glad you were not yet married to him.

You are an idiot, Cornelius. My daughter was the heiress.

You only think about inheritance.

Sir is one of the richest men in France.

My good master!

Don't shout so much, I'm here. - Hopefully you didn't hurt yourself.

Sir is in a dangerous position.

He will end up committing suicide. - It doesn't look so bad, does it?

It gives me a dry throat.

Why is it taking so long? - He is bored, madam.

Arthur is bored because he is missing something.

What nonsense! He has everything he needs.

16 castles, three spinning mills, youth, health and my daughter's love.

He misses hardships, the salt of life.

The sun of our dear host could use a little shade.

Help me, Leon.

You're going to give me a heart attack, sir. Let's go back to the boat.

Leon, what time is it?

6:30 p.m., sir, as usual. - 6:30 p.m.?

6:30 p.m...

And when do we eat? - At 7:30 p.m., sir, as usual.

One more hour. - Are you hungry?

Oh no.

Arthur must marry my daughter. - The boy seems very sensitive to me.

I would like to make a remark, if you allow me...

that Mr. Arthur is attempting suicide for the ninth time already.

And that in 7 days.

It doesn't matter. He is marrying my daughter!

All of Arthur's friends are sailing along together.

This journey to the Far East will broaden his horizons.

What magnificent colors, how exotic!

It is beautiful. - Yes, truly beautiful.

Arthur, shall we go ashore? - No!

Why are we stopping here anyway?

Look there, I see someone coming toward us, sir.

Biscoton, Mr. Lempereur's representative.

I hoped to see you in Genoa. I missed you in Beirut...

and I have just come from Sydney. Greetings, Mr. Lempereur.

Hello, Mr. Biscretin. - Coton, Biscoton...

I bring bad news. - Finally.

I understand. As stated I rejected the shares

of Stohfeld and the shares of Lolium.

Compagnie sold, causing the prices to fall

and then buy back the securities cheaply.

But unfortunately...

Very good.

What do you mean good? That means ruin. You have nothing left.

What? - You have absolutely nothing left.

What? Has Arthur really lost everything?

Then I am breaking off the engagement. - What will become of us?

I will protect your mother, Alice. - This is terrible...

Arthur! Arthur!

Sampan!

Arthur! - Leave me alone!

Arthur!

Arthur!

You are so stubborn. Go ahead, continue.

I want to die.

No one has the right to kill themselves. Life is a gift from God.

When I was rich, life did not interest me, and now even less...

Every misfortune contains the seeds of happiness.

I want to die. - My poor boy,

I am afraid it will fail again, as usual.

Certainly not this time. - So you do not understand

that you were born and live to spread joy on earth.

I no longer have the means. - I am not talking about money...

but about feelings and affection.

For example me, as your friend, or Alice, your fiancée.

We do matter. - I can do nothing more for you.

Are you sure, Arthur? - Certainly.

Do you want to die? - Yes.

Do you insist? - Yes.

Do you really want death? - Yes.

You will die!

But before you die, you must do one more thing.

Come with me.

33, 33, 33. - Cough please.

Open your mouth.

Thank you very much. Okay.

Congratulations, you will live to be 100 years old, like all our clients.

Hence the name of our company: The Centenarian.

Life insurance with us is a guarantee of a longer life.

So let us take care of you. Insure yourself for an

sum of two million dollars. A considerable amount.

In favor of Miss Alice Ponchabert.

Yes, that is my fiancée.

Charming idea. But further in the text, and Mr. Goh.

Professor of Chinese philosophy.

My guide, my teacher and my only friend.

Everyone should receive half, I assume.

Yes, please.

So if you die, your fiancée and your...

philosophical friend would each receive one million dollars.

Even if I break my neck here on the stairs right now?

We cover everyone, except in the case of suicide.

Of course I understand that.

You are insured for one month. Are you likely to travel?

A long journey, yes.

One month, 30 days, so the insurance is valid until New Year's Day.

Can you sign here?

Here, please.

So I no longer have the right to commit suicide?

No, that's correct. You want to die, and I will help you with that.

Really? Would you do that for me?

I will act like a father to you, so you will feel nothing. But one thing

I do ask of you: enjoy it, enjoy life and do what you like!

Death will come as a surprise. You will know neither the day nor the hour.

You now have one month left. 30 days or perhaps only a few seconds.

Mr. Goh!

Mr. Goh!

Mr. Goh!

Arthur, didn't you notice anything? - What?

My new hairstyle.

Beautiful.

Miss Alice, it will be a delightful sunset.

How beautiful. - What is beautiful?

This last dawn. - Why the last dawn?

I heard your snoring last night, Suzy. It was

cute and gentle, it sounded like a nightingale.

Stop leading me around the garden, Cornelius.

I have other worries. Arthur, why do you look so gloomy?

I was awake all night. - Didn't that bother you while sleeping?

Where is Mr. Goh? - We haven't seen him anymore.

Sir, come and have a look.

There he is.

Leon, wait here. - I understand, sir.

Mr. Goh?

Mr. Goh?

Mr. Goh?

Were you looking for me? - I, I... no, no, no.

Yes, yes. Maybe not. I am here by chance.

You are nervous, relax now!

These girls are like clouds above the sea.

Everything suddenly disappears.

What is it?

I thought you wanted to... - What?

Listen, Mr. Goh. You promised

that you would make me disappear without comedy.

Oh no, I mean it.

I still wonder.

Do you think I would let one million dollars slip away?

What are you waiting for? - For the right moment.

Everything in its own time. Don't bother me, I have to think now.

No!

Now that's enough, I've had enough! This is going too far! This is really going too far!

Thank you very much. Thank you very much, Leon, for your help.

I thought sir would like it.

I don't like such jokes.

And now, Miss Alexandrine Pinardel, from the striptease club: Gay Paris!

Oh, it's you.

My shoes.

And now my belt.

Come on, fasten it.

Be careful, you are so clumsy today.

I'm a little out of it, miss.

But... - No buts, don't be afraid.

I have admired you for three months, but I didn't dare congratulate you in person.

Three months? - Yes.

But I've only been here for a week. Are you playing a game?

They're after me! - Go away!

And you too, you can leave immediately as well.

Handle your affairs yourself, I hate men like you.

No no, listen... - Stop it!

I know poor and rich men. Millionaires, even an emir, he wanted

to give half of his kingdom. I don't care.

Come on, go! - Listen to me for a moment, I beg you.

Go!

Do you have a revolver?

Do you think a woman cannot defend herself?

Are you going on a world trip? - Absolutely. - Me too.

Very nice, come on, tell your life story.

Miss, you are forcing me to tell the truth. I am a billionaire.

And then?

A stock market crash ruined me, I am insured for 2 million

insured and can no longer commit suicide. Do you understand?

Yes. - Then do you understand me?

Go away!

One last word. - Which?

You are admirable, with or without a revolver.

Why?

Because you are the first woman to have me in her grip.

Who likes your long hair now? - I'll cut it off.

And now?

It doesn't help anymore.

Farewell, Alexandrine Pinardel.

They are still there, sir. - I give up.

No, wait, I have an idea.

Help me carry this.

And put on those hats.

So sir no longer wants to come aboard?

Leon, from now on I want to live my own life.

But where is she?

Do you understand what he says? - Absolutely, why?

What are you writing? - I'm doing research.

About what? - About men.

Men? - They fascinate me.

Their thoughts, their joy, their little dances, their games, their head.