Rick and Morty

stant screaming ]

Oh! Oh! Ah!

It's the crow man!

Give it a second.

Maybe he's taking it out to surrender.

He's anti-heroic. Run!

I don't understand.

He's only one man!

With the power of a thousand crows.

Oh, oh! Ooh!

Good luck.

Crows and owls have always been at war,

but why do you care?

What's the point?

Here's two.

Ha-ha! Yeah. Cool. Morty?

Uh, h-hey, man!

Good to see you!

Y-You're, like, looking, like,

into crows...still.

Oh, uh, two crows, you remember Morty.

Morty, two crows.

It's good to see you,

but if you'd given me more of a heads up --

Well, I-I was just in the neighborhood.

I-It wasn't like -- It's just that the battle for crows

is kind of never-ending.

Huh. Right.

A little pointless, then, right?

That came out wrong, s-sounded judgy.

Crowhorse. Crowhorse. Okay.

Crowhorse. Crowhorse. Looks like...

looks like they're leading you to a thing.

Take care, Morty.

You -- You too!

I-I'm doing good, by the way.

Oh, my dad was gonna eat that yogurt you left in the fridge

but I-I told him --

I'm looking for...

Crow Scare.

The scarecrow? The evil scarecrow?

Come on. Whoever gives him up first lives.

Fine, I can kill an extra asshole.

Helps me get my steps in.

Ah!

Ahhh!

Rick! Morty?

Wood?!

Aghhhh!

Uh, Morty, why are you now like 40?

Th-That's how long it's been, Rick.

Oh, uh, I guess we can have a drink together, then.

Do you have a rum and Coke?

What are you, 20?

Oh, bless your heart.

Time be goin' by, don't she?

That's your reaction to finding out

you wasted your entire life?

I feel okay.

Well -- well, what about me?!

Whoa. Excuse us, boys.

You don't wanna be here for this.

I thought if I gave you enough space,

you'd outgrow this... phase.

Here's your drink, poser.

Dad got sick, you know. Stage 4.

You would've loved it.

Summer's a nurse -- well, pretty much a nurse.

She -- She married a junkie.

Rick, come home,

while we still got a little time.

Morty, what we had wasn't healthy.

And this is?

Y-You've had a thousand adventures with these crows.

When are you gonna kill their big bad?

First off, the "will they/kill they"

is everything to my guys.

And second, you for trying to undermine my happiness.

This may be the last time you ever lay eyes on me!

I hope that's not true, Morty,

because you look like sshit,

and this is not how I wanna remember you.

Now that I have his two crows,

nothing will stop me from eliminating Crow Rick.

Don't defend him to me.

I don't even get what you see in him.

You're right.

We should be enjoying the time we have together.

Crow Rick!

Oh, I-I know what this must look like, but --

It looks like my arch nemesis, Crow Scare,

and my sidekicks planning adventures together.

You are hardly the victim here.

I was adventuring with these two crows

before you ever came along.

What do you mean, "using me as a rebound?"

You feel like I was using you as a rebound, too?

Well, , this lost all meaning.

I guess it could have been worse.

At least adventuring was just a metaphor

for romantic partnership, so it's not a real break-up.

Speak for yourself.

We immensely enjoy each other's bodies.

What?! Ugh! No!

Sounds like the man's asking for proof.

Let's show him, fellas!

I-I asked for zero proof! Ahh!

Zero proof!

I'm giving you free will.

Yah!

Submit to Crow Horse!

Whoops.

Rick? Wubba lubba dub dub! I'm back, pal!

Morty, who's at the door?

Wait a minute. I thought you died gruesomely?

W-what the hell's going on here?

See, uh, the -- the thing is, uh...

Can you please make Morty 14 again, Dad?

This is ridiculous.

Okay, look, I-I may have used an aging serum

to kind of emotionally blackmail you a little

I kind of figured, and I totally get it, Morty,

I-I'm done with the two crows.

Like, they were super clingy and I'm ready to make this work.

Let's just hit the reset button.

Well, no, honey, not a reset, okay?

Tell your grandpa that you're worthy of his respect

and you want to be treated differently from now on.

I refuse to do that.

I-I'm desperate to get back together.

Just like his old man. Don't worry, honey.

That's just Morty's middle age talking.

He'll be less codependent once we get

more of his life in front of him again.

Uh, I'd like him to stay 40

so he can keep buying my friends molly.

I'd rather throw my vote away

than use it to support a flawed system.

Can we make our first adventure fixing this?

I keep thinking about lawn care. Okay, buddy.

Who sold you this shitty aging serum?

What did he look like? Just like you.

I-I got it from the Citadel. Hot damn.

Hittin' the ground running with a Citadel episode.

See ya later, masturbators.

Hi! I'm Citadel's new mascot, Andy,

because this place wouldn't be home

without Ricks "Andy" Mortys.

Dumb.

Ooh, what happened to this place?

There's a Morty president now.

Aw, that's cute. They rebuilt. They made it nicer.

They made it Glendale.

God damn, you are cantankerous.

Even pooping hurts now.

Yeah, well, this place is gonna fix you right up.

Okay, so, we've got a standard Morty

that's been aged to...40?

Can you reverse it?

Well, if you look at it like a bone,

what we can do is break his age in two places,

remove the middle, and graft its ends back together.

Th-that sounds really violent.

It's not a literal bone, Morty.

Oh, okay.

Ah, brace yourself, the process does also

break every bone in your body.

Wait! Aah! Ooh! Ow!

I like crayons. Girls are gross.

I-I think I feel like myself again.

Uh, you look a little weird.

Your skin's all pink like a baby mouse.

I-Is that normal? Probably.

Uh, sign here for storage or disposal

of the 26 years we removed.

Wait, what?

I ain't payin' to store 26 years.

Well, then youe taking it with you.

I'm almost ready to sell out.

Alright, what's disposal cost?

Oh! S-something unfair's happening.

There's no escape. No escape!

Let me help you! This is not a good look.

Oh!

Oh, boy. Hey! They -- they shot me!

You are seriously hurting the Citadel experience.

Listen to me! Drop the gun!

Death is coming for us all,

and the Citadel is a weapon of mass des--

Woof. You're about to get suspended with pay.

Come on, Morty, let's get outta here before this gets political.

Oh! Was I... influential?

Yeah, y-you were influential.

Y-You had like seven -- seven blogs.

Tight. Oh.

Ugh. Too late.

Rick C-137,

President Morty requests you join him for dinner.

Whoa! S-Seriously?

You know I destroyed this place.