Seinfeld

Hey.

Morning.

This is crazy. You know, I-- I, uh...

I can't go on like this.

But why?

I need some space.

Does that mean I have to go too?

Well, you don't think she's just talking to me.

Hey, shut up.

You shut up.

Oh, I hate this.

You'll get used to it.

It's like a rugby scrum.

No, no, I don't want this anymore.

We're going to work with you.

And on your dates.

And shopping.

And to the bathroom.

Elaine. Elaine. Elaine.

I can't breathe.

I'm suffocating.

Elaine. Elaine.

I can't breathe.

You're all killing me!

Turn your alarm off!

Your background is impressive, George, but, uh,

how does it apply to what we do here

at Kruger Industrial Smoothing?

Well, at the Yankees, it was, uh--

It was all about smoothing things over.

You know, chiseling away, grinding down.

In fact, heh, we, uh--

We used to call it "the grind."

It says here you worked at Play Now for four days?

That-- That should be a 14. Let me just...

Well, George, I'll be honest.

I could go either way on you.

But what the hell? We need someone, huh?

You, uh-- you won't regret this, sir.

I don't care.

Let's...find you an office, huh? Ahem.

Then when I saw the photo I remembered where I'd seem him.

The boom box incident.

The boom box incident?

Summer of '89, I'm at the beach.

This family sets up next to me.

I go into the surf.

When I come out, my clothes, my towel, my umbrella,

they're all gone.

I am furious.

I start screaming at these kids,

demanding my stuff back,

and then finally, I lose it.

I grab their boom box

and I chuck it into the ocean.

Yeah?

Seems reasonable.

Then I see my clothes floating out there.

The tide took them out, not the kids.

Even more reasonable.

So now the father is screaming at me.

He's demanding that I pay for the boom box.

So, heh...

finally I gave him a fake address

and got the hell out of there.

And that guy is your new boss?

Mm-hm, until that stupid photo jogs his memory.

Kruger.

That's not Kruger Industrial Smoothing, is it?

Yeah.

Yeah, grinders, sanders, whetstones.

They're the ones who botched the Statue of Liberty job.

Right. They couldn't get the green stuff off.

It is a horrible company.

There is no management whatsoever.

I could go hog-wild in there.

You know what you do?

You sneak that photo out of there

for a couple of days and get it airbrushed.

Like retouched?

Remember that photo of me and Gerald Ford,

and I took it in-- Brrrr.

Got that Ford right out of there.

Ohh, this is good.

This Kruger guy is clueless.

Hee-hee.

I can't wait to work for him.

Yeah.

Jeez.

Look at this.

This sandwich is terrible.

Everywhere you go they always give you

these misshaped, shoddy meats.

Look, look, look.

I haven't had a decent sandwich in 13 years.

Neither have I.

Hey.

Well, our meat problems are solved.

Where'd you get this thing?

I traded in my sausage press.

I mean, look how thin that is.

See, that's all surface area.

The taste has nowhere to hide.

Hey.

Hey. Slice?

Welcome to flavor country.

Yeah. That's pretty good.

Hey, I got a date with that doctor you met.

Sara Sitarides?

Mm-hm.

Hm.

What's with you?

You remember that next-door neighbor of mine,

the apartment that always smells

like, uh, potatoes?

Your whole building smells like potatoes.

This jackass goes to Paris,

leaves her alarm on.

It's been beeping since 3:30 this morning.

You know, that happened to Lomez,

so he blew his neighbor's circuit.

How did he do that?

Yeah, well, it's easy.

Just let me finish this mile-high

and I'll be right with you.

Oh, Jerry, we're gonna need a case of Kaiser Rolls.

I think we might have one left in the stockroom.

My, this hallway smells like potatoes.

I know, I know. This is it.

Okay.

Oh, you see.

This socket--

It's probably connected to her apartment.

Oh.

So what we'll do...

Come on.

We'll take this paper clip

and we'll bend it,

so it'll short out the entire circuit.

There you go. Can you do it?

Oh, I think I'll let you do it.

No, no, no. It's easy. Just...do it quickly.

No, I really don't want to.

Well, I don't want to, either.

I thought you've done this before.

Yeah, well, I have. It's just...

It's no picnic.

Well, then, how are we gonna do it?

All right, all right, fine, fine. I'll do it.

Oh, mama.

Are you okay?

I'm gonna lose that nail.

I enjoy the challenge of medicine.

Naturally, you would have no idea what it's like

to have someone's life depending on you.

Well, I have this neighbor...

A joke.

Do you have any idea what it feels like

to save someone's life?

Is it anything like hitting a homer in softball?

No.

'Cause I hit a whopper last week.

Here you go.

Airbrushed you into sand and sky.

What did you do here?

You took out the wrong guy.

I thought you said you wanted to be out.

But I'm still here. You took out the other guy.

You've really lost a lot of hair.

I am aware.

Hmm.

"The world's best pizza cutter...

seventy-six bucks."

How often do I make...?

I've gotta buy a book.

The cat.

He took out Kruger?

I just pray Kruger doesn't realize it's gone

until this guy can fix it up.

This slicer is indomitable.

Where'd you get that butcher's coat?

You buy enough meat, they'll give you anything.

Kramer.

Huh?

My neighbor has a cat.

When you blew the power,

we must have shut off the automatic feeder.

See, that's the same thing that happened to Lomez.

Well, what did he do about it?

Well, he, uh, moved into a motel,

and the cat eventually died.

Well, this meowing is absolutely worse than the alarm.