VANish

Mmm, it's delicious.

It was a very good year.

No, awesome.

I'm glad you brought me here.

I'm glad you wanted to be here.

I feel like I'm in high school again

like we are out on lover's lane.

Well, I better get you back before your curfew then.

Muy fascinate.

You're the fascinating one.

Ahh...

Humanity, Jack.

That's what's being lost.

When you buy a smartphone,

you lose a little bit of that humanity.

It's simple social skills.

People don't look people in the eye

when they fucking to them, anymore.

Do you know how hard it is to pick up a chick

in a Laundromat nowadays?

You can't do it, dude,

because she's on her fucking phone

in her goddamned Twitter account with her goddamned followers

tweeting about the goddamned guy hitting on her

in the fucking Laundromat.

Don't you find any benefits of technology?

Last week, your piece of shit Dodge Intrepid

broke down on the I-10 freeway.

All you had to do was pickup your cell phone,

called AAA up and say,

"Can you come pick my sorry ass up?"

Well, a kind man pulled over and helped me out.

Let's see. I got to meet him

and that was an actual reaction, you know what I mean?

When I was in Iraq,

I could contact Dad through Skype.

Vietnam, all they had was a pen, a piece of paper,

and a 50% chance that would even reach the States.

Dude, we got to go back. There's onions in this thing.

No. Fuck no. We ain't going anywhere.

I don't fucking eat onions.

We're not going back. You know why?

No.

Onions have penicillin.

Do you know what that is?

I don't care.

Dude, it's an antibiotic that combats syphilis

and I think you should probably look into it.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Well, you are a desperate guy that does desperate things.

Go to massage parlors, go to strip clubs...

Massage parlors?

I don't think you can get that from there, those places.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Happy endings.

- You can get that from a hand job? Syphilis? - Absolutely.

- Really? - Yeah, man.

You don't want that shit.

Shit.

Oh, Christ.

Who's that?

Who do you think, man?

- Jasmine? - Yeah.

What the hell does she want?

Wants me to go pick up my shit.

Bitch.

She broke it off, man.

You're so much better than that, dude.

I really liked her though, man.

Beautiful, smart...

I thought she was a fucking cunt.

You think that about every girl you meet.

No, she was a Grade-A bitch.

She was an elitist.

Dude, you know you couldn't lose an argument with her.

And she didn't love you. You know how I know?

How?

She didn't remember your birthday.

She didn't even know what's coming up, dude.

She just walked away.

It's the little things in the relationship.

Women always say that.

You know, if a guy forgot a woman's birthday,

she'd go fucking ape shit, dude.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

You know, I bet she remembers

the dead boyfriend's birthday though.

I mean, they dated for five years,

and then, all of a sudden,

he gets gunned down in broad daylight for his fucking car.

I mean, of course, she's going to remember his fucking birthday.

But that was three years ago.

I mean, people get over shit, don't they?

- Well, I hope so. - I would think so.

Dude, it was doomed from the beginning, man.

He's a martyr, all right?

He's dead. He can't fuck up.

Dead people never fuck up.

This is it, man.

All right.

Jesus Christ.

High society up in here.

Did you really think Jasmine was an elitist?

Undoubtedly.

Ahh...

Don't move.

Got it?

Emma?

Ah, we got a nosy neighbor over here, huh?

Are you all right?

Get in the van and don't make me hurt you.

Oh, we got a baseball player over here, huh?

Come on, motherfucker.

Come on.

Batter up.

Like that.

Get in the fucking van.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall.

I told you no shooting.

I should have gave you an empty gun,

you fucking child.

Yeah, and then Babe Ruth back there

could have knocked my head out of the fucking park.

We got to get out of here quickly.

No shit.

Fuck man.

That bitch is going to call the cops.

She's getting the plates, man. We got to kill her.

The plates are fake. She's got the make of the van.

You can't leave witnesses.

It's unprofessional.

What the fuck are you looking at?

Ahh.

Ahh!

The fucking bitch tried to bite me.

Serves you right, asshole.

Don't fucking talk to me like that.

You're supposed to have my back.

I'm going to fucking kill you.

I told you, don't touch her.

I'm just easing the tension.

What the fuck did you do?

You knocked her out?

That or I killed her.

You better pray you didn't.

She's still breathing, man. Her stomach is moving, relax.

I swear the fuck, man, you keep this up,

I'm going to have you drive and then Shane can watch her.

Fuck, man. Shane?

Well, he follows orders unlike somebody that I know.

I hate that fucking guy.

Did you bring the shotgun?

Yeah, it's in the back. It's in the briefcase.

Don't give it to Shane.

I don't trust him...

I trust you with a weapon.

He's not wearing his fucking mask.

You're driving, bro.

Is that her?

No, it's some hooker we're all going to want to train on later.

Of course, it's her.

Oh, she's giving me a fucking eyeball.

Oh, fuck she's awake.

And she just saw his face.

Congratulations, Shane.

You just fucked up the whole operation.

I'm sorry, Max. I just got here.

That's my name!

That's my fucking name!

I know that's your name. That's why I said it.

What are you doing?

I'm sweating my ass off in that thing.

Dude...

She saw his face. She knows my name.

We're fucked.

I guess it doesn't matter now.

I'm sorry, guys, Jesus!

I'm... I'm just here to drive, you know?

You know, Jack and I, we're brothers in arms.

We're... We were in combat together.

You know, he needs a favor, I oblige.

I don't know who this squirrel dick in the back thinks he is.

He can't talk to me like that.

Did you just call me a fucking squirrel dick?

Max, cool it, dude.

Don't point a loaded gun at somebody

unless you intend to pull the trigger.

Huh.

You're fucked up.

What did you do over there in Afghanistan?

Did you ever drive a Humvee through a fucking minefield?

I've fucking seen it, man.

I've seen it all.

I know you have, buddy. Just calm down, alright?

I know you know.

Your fucking friend here needs an education

in dealing with the pressure.

I'm fucking calm.

All right, Emma.

We don't want to hurt you.