The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives

Stop talking and listen!

-No, I am listening. -The therapist said, "Be a mom."

Okay, you just told me to ask.

Didn't you just ask me to explain it to you?

Now you're telling me to listen. So, which one do you want?

Do you want me to listen or do you want me to tell you?

-Both. Communicate. -No, you just told me to stop and listen

-so, I'm listening. I'm listening. -Well, you had your turn.

My mom and I just landed in Colorado.

I'm hoping that this trip gives me a little bit of information,

answers, about my biological dad.

But this trip is already... hell

because I don't wanna be in the car anymore with my mom.

You know, it's just very toxic.

Why didn't you ask him? "Dakota, why the fuck are you a fucking liar?"

Why wasn't anyone asking him that?

I don't know. We didn't ask him.

-That's why I'm asking you. -We don't know. I just told you an answer.

-We don't know. - Oh, you don't know?

You shouldn't be with him. That's the whole point!

Sometimes, I just wanna be heard, like, just listened to.

And, like, there's always an opinion or advice.

And maybe I just need to be more clear, "Just listen and say nothing."

I'm sick of talking about Dakota.

This isn't just about Dakota.

No, that's all-- that's all it is.

-You're still hooked up on him. You are. -No, I hate him.

-I hate him. -No, you're hooked up on him.

You're still love-- in love with him. You are!

You want me to have respect for you...

-but you never want respect-- -I don't ask for respect.

Okay, but you want us to back you up

-but you can't even respect me. -No, I don't want you to back--

Don't back me up.

-No? Then why are you pissed? -Huh?

- Why are you pissed then? -I'm asking--

-If you don't want us to back you up-- -You can't answer.

You haven't answered my goddamn question.

Stop using the Lord's name in vain, please.

I wanna go home, so I'm going back to the airport.

I don't wanna do this anymore.

Oh, it's busy today.

I'm not gonna lie, I feel I would have a blast here.

- I know. -This is one of those times

where I'm like, "Yeah, I'll just go play with the kids."

Dating as a single mom is incredibly challenging.

My boys are my whole world,

but things are going really good between me and Mason.

We've been together five months officially

and I'm really happy.

I let Mason see my kids maybe once a week.

I just feel like until I know that he truly is in this for the right reasons,

he's not in the place yet to be a father figure around them.

What happened to your arms?

You have-- You-- You look like an elephant with your trunk right here.

Okay, go over there.

Go play.

-Go have fun, bro. -Do the slide-- this slide in the back.

Do the rainbow slide.

Your child needs some milk.

Good job!

Are you excited for New York?

-Yes. -It's gonna be fun.

I'm super excited 'cause I'm going to New York tomorrow

to pursue some things with modeling.

Mason's also coming along with me to New York,

and I'm really excited to have him come support me.

I've been modeling since I was a little girl,

and I've done small shows and modeled for boutiques and things like that,

but I had to put a big hold on it being a mom,

but I am excited to be able to put myself first for a second.

I mean, I don't have these legs for no reason, you know?

They need to be on a runway.

I have a meeting lined up with Ford,

-with the modeling agency. -Are you serious?

Yeah.

You nervous?

I'm excited but nervous.

Just being able to get a meeting with them is a big deal, so.

Is that like one of the bigger ones, like, in the world or something, right?

- Yeah. -That's sick.

I'm excited you're gonna be there.

It's gonna be a fun trip.

Five more minutes, 'kay?

-Okay, go. -Hey, five minutes.

All us girls are getting such cool opportunities

like the girls, Dancing with the Stars,

and Taylor, Bachelorette.

Yeah.

And I kind of get my chance now

just 'cause I've been dreaming of doing modeling since I was little.

We gotta get dinner soon.

We should for sure go in five.

They can have, like, 10. They're fine.

I did say five minutes a few seconds ago.

Yeah, but...

This is so...

What?

They're having fun. Dinner can wait.

Maybe we should compromise, call it seven.

No, 10.

I just feel like, with kids sometimes,

"Hey, can I have another five minutes,

another five minutes, another five minutes?"

You know, like, I feel like they just like push you

and see how far they can get away with you sometimes

and they just kind of get away with a lot,

-almost like... -Maybe.

-...who's controlling who, a little bit. -Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess I just feel like you should put your foot down a little bit more.

There definitely has been a few times in the past

that Mason seems very annoyed with my boys.

I'm definitely scared to bring up these things with Mason.

I'm afraid it would potentially scare him off,

or I would come off too strong and he wouldn't know how to handle it.

I just-- I don't wanna ruin the relationship before New York

and I just don't want things to be awkward,

or heated, or feel contention.

So, I just don't think right now is the time to bring it up.

Let's just try to get along while we're here.

We came all this way.

Even though I did wanna go home,

I still wanna learn more about my biological father, Brian,

so I wanna sweep everything with my mom, that just happened, under the rug

so we can actually be present here and get the most out of what we came for.

-Hi. -Hi. I'm Steve Lopez.

-Taylor. Nice to meet you. -What's going on? Likewise.

Hey! How are you?

You look nice.

I've known Steve since I was in high school.

He knew Brian throughout his life

and he was probably the best resource for Taylor

to ask any questions that she might have.

You want me to start from the top or?

- Yeah. -Yeah! Go for it.

All right, so Brian was just a great person.

Super, super, super intelligent.

-That's what everyone says about him. - Super intelligent.

He was a tough kid, was also a Taurus, I don't know if that matters, so--

Taurus-- I don't know much about like the Taurus ones.

-They, like, have a anger-- - Bullheaded, I guess.

-Yeah, like a bull. - Oh, really? Mm.

Kinda like, you know, show 'em red and they go crazy, I don't know.

Oh, maybe that's where I get half of that from, maybe,

-the other half from you. -I guess.

He used to fight a lot.

All the fights he got into, they started it with him.

-Oh, really? Why? -Yeah. I don't know.

That's how I feel, everyone just starts fights with me

and I have to fight.

He ends up going to the marines.

After the basic training, he comes back,

so that's two years before you're born,

and he gets in a horrible car accident.

So, he breaks his neck

and that just changes everything.

He just never recovered.

Super.

-No. I think it would've been different-- -Yeah, 'cause he was like really happy

-in high school, like that jock-- - Super cool. Straight--

Yeah, football, healthy, sm-- smart, strong.

How old-- So, when was the car accident? How old was he?

Um, probably 19.

Brian and I met when I was 15.

The car accident he was in changed him completely

but I stayed with him.

I felt like I was in love with him.

Brian had that hold on me that I-- I feel like Dakota has on Taylor.

Brian got the worst of it. He was in the backseat, broke his neck.

Um, '93 rolls around and he discovered cocaine.

Yeah.

And, well, then, crystal meth comes in at some point in the late '90s.

-It just never-- it's just-- -Damn.

It breaks my heart. It-- It always did. And I always tried to help him out.

He had an overdose in 2015.

Oh, wow! I did not hear any of that.

I think that just sent him down because he was gone about a year later.

It's wild.

-It's a lot to take in. -Yeah. Um...

I don't know. How is this for you?

-Is it just like a kind of a blur? -No, I--

I just feel like you don't remember anything about him.

I remember him but, I mean, I just-- I remember fighting most of the time.

Yeah. So, maybe it's not something you like to talk about now?

I don't know.

I just remember one incident,

I'm not gonna say that on camera though, but--

- What? -What was it? Yeah.

The reservoir. He was just kind of-- had a temper.