Madam Secretary

I've already been down this street.

DISTORTED MALE VOICE (over earpiece): Keep walking.

Hello?

Remove the battery from your phone

and put it in the dumpster.

No.

It's a burner.

No one's tracking it.

Not negotiable.

How do I know you're really Viper?

How do I know it's not a trap?

Do it.

Hello?

Where are you? Damn it.

Gina Fisher.

You made it.

You're Viper?

What I got is going to bring the United States to its knees.

They say Thomas Jefferson, your first Secretary of State, _

shared a bottle of this 1788 Clos DE Griffier cognac

with my predecessor Jean Baptiste Ternant

who, um, didn't realize

that Jefferson was, uh, really a wine aficionado.

However, our research

of you, Madam Secretary,

uh, suggests that you will find this cognac more pleasing.

Merci, Minister Dubois.

Your research is correct.

And although Jefferson may not have loved cognac,

he loved France.

And our enduring alliance is a testament to our shared values

and profound friendship.

Thank you.

The Secretary and French Foreign Minister

will now take ten minutes of questions.

Gina Fisher, from the Washington Chronicle.

Madam Secretary, you say that the U.S. and France are friends,

yet your senior policy advisor, Jay Whitman, has referred

to Minister Dubois here as, quote,

"An empty crepe with a Napoleon complex."

What do you have to say about that?

I don't know anything about it.

- Next question. - It's from a confidential

state department cable. I've gotten access to a cache of such communiqués,

including evidence of U.S. spying on France

and other so-called allies,

exposing vast institutionalized hypocrisy.

All of which will be going up on the Chronicle's Web site

as we speak.

It was a private e-mail!

You really believe there's such a thing anymore?

There's thousands.

Twitter-sphere is calling them the Viper cables.

Viper?

Fisher's source.

She's claiming he's a state department employee.

Oh, great, our very own Snowden.

What happened to at least giving us a heads up?

Hey, Jay.

Daisy's about to tell us

that that gotcha video is blowing up on social media.

Which was clearly the point.

Right now, I need you to focus on fixing it.

The White House agrees.

They want this contained.

Dubois officially cut short his visit

and is on his way to Andrews.

Dubois's the tip of the iceberg.

In another cable, an INR analyst referred

to the Austrian ambassador as Das Boob.

Several deputy assistant secretaries agreed

in an e-mail chain

that a member of the Peruvian Constitutional Tribunal

is a coked-up, narcissist blowhard.

Oh, and our ambassador to Kenya called

their defense minister a sweaty, brain-damaged hippo.

Are we sure those cables aren't from a frat?

Already crafting your apologies, ma'am.

On a scale of non-apology-apology

to full Swaggart-Kanye,

how far do you want to take it?

Feel your way through,

based on diplomatic importance.

Aside from the petty name-calling,

is there anything policy-related we need to worry about?

I'll get into that.

While you're at it, get with FBI, DOJ and DNI,

and see if they can figure out who Viper is.

And short of ID'ing him among our thousands of colleagues,

I want an estimate of his security clearance.

I'll write up your apology to Foreign Minister Dubois,

but he may require more than contrition.

Understood.

For now, Madam Secretary, I hope you like crow.

'Cause that's the only dish on the menu today.

It is upsetting and deeply concerning

when so-called friends are uncivil,

condescending and downright mean-spirited.

I-I understand.

Please accept my heartfelt apologies, Ambassador Reinhart.

Petty name-calling has no place in our discourse.

I have such great respect

for all the work that you've done

on behalf of women and the elderly.

I'm very sorry.

Very well, Madam Secretary.

That's all we have for now.

Only 47 apologies?

I was just getting warmed up.

How'd I do?

No one's launched any missiles at us, yet.

But Ms. Fisher's announced that she's posting

another set of Viper's cables tomorrow afternoon,

and she's claiming they're much worse than the first.

Any headway on Viper?

No I.D.

But INR estimates he's no more than Secret level clearance.

They doubt he even had access privileges to the seventh floor.

Then why is the Washington Chronicle making

such a big splash?

Reach out to Fisher.

I want her in my office first thing in the morning.

Tell her I'll give her an interview if you have to.

Isn't that beneath your dignity, Madam Secretary?

The dignity train has already left the station.

Have Daisy put together background on her for me.

How deep?

The Constitution shouldn't be violated.

Let's make that an assumption from now on.

Hey! I can't believe you're still up.

I heard all about your day.

It was all over the news.

Tell me about the kids.

: They're great.

Seriously? The high voice?

What's wrong?

I didn't want to pile on your problems.

Josh broke up with Alison.

Oh, no.

Is she a puddle?

She hasn't really mentioned anything about it yet.

You didn't.

I did.

I thought we said we weren't going to do that anymore.

I know.

So the little dweeb broke up with her in a text?

Yeah, with all kinds of weird auto-correct things,

but, yeah, his intent was clear.

Honey, Alison's 15.

W-We can't be spying on her texts anymore.

Can we?

Hey, was it really our fault

that my iPad somehow tied in with her phone?

And it's not like these were icky diary entries.

They're stuff that she's sharing with her friends.

- That's true. - We're great parents.

We are.

It's our responsibility to balance her privacy with her safety.

She's at a precarious age.

- Fifteen. - We spy because we love.

Like the U.S. on France.

Much, much too soon, right?

Ugh. At least we'll know what to expect from Hurricane Alison.

Yeah. Oh, and don't be surprised

by the giant "V" that Jason painted on his door.

Viper's his new hero.

Not surprised.

And Stevie?

Quietly reveling in your problems.

Remind me again why we had kids?

They were supposed to be cute.

Come on, Mom, you got to admit that government transparency

is worth you getting a little beat up over.

No, I don't.

You wrote scholarly papers slamming the CIA for torture.

That was different... it was torture.

So, you think spying on our allies is a good thing?

No, I think it isn't torture.

Feta and spinach omelet up.

Thanks, Dad.

You got it. Hey!

How's school, Noodle?

It's fine.

Why don't you ask me about school?

Because you would just rail

against the oppression of learning.

Yeah, your words.

So, I got a job yesterday.

Hey, that's fantastic.

The copywriting job?

No, the hostessing job.

Hostessing? As in?

As in, "Party of four? Right this way."

Frank's Steak House.

- Oh. - Oh.

Frank's...

Yeah, a lot of important people go there.

Yep, and I will be showing them to their tables.

Cool. Do we get free steak?

No. Just like no free rides.