Envisage

WELCOME ABOARD.

PLEASE HELP US KEEP OUR TRAINS CLEAN AND SAFE.

REPORT ANY UNATTENDED PACKAGES OR VANDALISM,

AND TAKE A MOMENT TO REVIEW THE SAFETY PROCEDURES

POSTED THROUGHOUT THE TRAIN.

[WOMAN SPEAKING SPANISH OVER P.A.]

HEY, HEY, BUDDY. DO YOU HAPPEN TO HAVE A LITTLE MONEY?

* OH, COME ON HOME

* HEAD ON HOME

* I HEARD THE NEWS

* YOU BETTER COME ON HOME... *

-OH, HEY, THANKS, MAN. -* YOU TOOK MY RECORDS...

-THANKS. -* TO A YARD SALE

* VINTAGE VINYL BURNIN' IN THE SUN... *

- -GUS, HOW ARE YOU?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABE. HOW YOU DOIN'?

MOM, MOM.

LOOK WHAT WE GOT YOU.

* WHEN I'M WORKING

* YOU'RE PASSED OUT

* ON THE COUCH WITH A BONG *

-* I SAID COME ON HOME... -

* YOU BETTER HEAD ON HOME

* I HEARD THE NEWS

* YOU BETTER COME ON HOME

* I SEE SMOKE

* IS THE OVEN ON?

* YOU'RE IN BED WITH TUBA TOM *

* WE USED TO BE SO DAMN CUTE *

* NOW IT'S SOUR AND GONE *

* WHEN I'M OUT WORKIN'

* YOU'RE ON THE COUCH

* WITH MY FRIENDS SINGIN' SONGS... *

YEAH, HANG ON. I'M COMIN'.

- -WHO IS IT?

ALL YOU DELIVERY BOYS LOOK THE SAME TO ME.

LOOK, I'M NOT OPENING UP.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY HAVE TO GO THROUGH THIS ROUTINE

EVERY TIME I'M HERE.

I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE THE GROCERIES RIGHT HERE, OKAY?

DID YOU REMEMBER THE COOKIES?

THANK YOU, MR. VANDERBEEK.

OOH, YOU IMPRESSED?

OOH, ALL THE WAY.

ALL THE WAY.

SHH.

HEY, BITCH, SIDEWALK.

THIS IS A PUBLIC SIDEWALK ALL UP IN MY WAY.

COME ON, BITCH, WHY YOU COMIN' TOWARD ME, MAN? WHY YOU COMIN' TOWARD ME?

YOU GOT A PROBLEM, BITCH? YOU GOT A PROBLEM?

* YOU BETTER COME ON HOME *

* YOU BETTER COME ON HOME

* YOU BETTER COME ON HOME... *

HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.

HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.

HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.

HERE, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY, KITTY.

COME OUT, WHEREVER YOU ARE.

HEY, KITTEN. WHAT'S NEW, PUSSYCAT?

OH, I BET YOU HATE THESE LONG SHIFTS MORE THAN I DO, HUH?

COME HERE.

GET UP, GET UP.

CRAWL TO THE COUCH.

OH, GOOD. YOU'VE MADE ME SO PROUD

TO TAKE SUCH PUNISHMENT.

OH, KITTEN. OH, KITTEN, I'M SORRY.

OH, I'M SORRY. IT'S OVER NOW.

NO MAN 30 POUNDS OVERWEIGHT

SHOULD EVER BE WEARING A SPEEDO.

I'M NOT LOOKING UP.

YOU GOTTA LOOK AT THIS GUY.

YOU'VE GOT TO SEE HOW HAIRY HIS BACK IS.

WHY WOULD I WANT TO SEE THAT?

BECAUSE IT'S FRICKIN' DISGUSTING.

I WANT TO MEET THE WOMAN WHO'S SLEEPING WITH HIM.

ALL RIGHT, LET ME SEE.

-WHERE? -PERVERT.

- YOU'RE GAY. -WANT TO LOOK AT SOME HAIRY OLD MAN.

YOU'RE A LESBIAN.

-GOD. HOW'S YOUR BOOK? - DEPRESSING.

-MORE DEPRESSING THAN YOUR MEDICAL BOOKS? - OH, YEAH.

IT'S ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD.

A MAN AND HIS SON TRAVEL THROUGH THE DEAD LAND

OF ASH AND DARKNESS.

-WOW, FUN SUMMER READING. - YEAH.

MINE'S ABOUT THREE WOMEN SPENDING THEIR SUMMER IN GREECE.

WEREN'T YOU READING THAT WHEN WE MET?

MAYBE.

- WOW. -HEY, I DON'T READ AS FAST AS YOU.

- YEAH, APPARENTLY. -I'M STARVING.

WE ATE BREAKFAST LIKE TWO HOURS AGO.

THREE, AND BREAKFAST WAS VERY EVENTFUL.

WE DIDN'T EAT MUCH.

WE'RE ENGAGED.

I KNOW, DO YOU BELIEVE IT?

I KEEP FORGETTING, AND THEN I SMELL BACON

AND THEN I GET EXCITED ALL OVER AGAIN.

YOU KNOW WHAT? IT'S GONNA SET IN

AS SOON AS YOU GO INTO WORK AND TELL EVERYONE.

YOU ARE GONNA TELL EVERYONE, RIGHT?

WHY WOULDN'T I TELL EVERYBODY?

TWO BLOODY MARYS?

AND ARE WE READY TO ORDER?

NO.

HOLY CRAP, I CAN'T DRINK THIS RIGHT NOW. I'M ON CALL.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DRINK IT, JUST TASTE IT.

IS THAT A BRUSSEL SPROUT? WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

SO IT'S WORTH THE $25, RIGHT?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

IT'S FOR A SPECIAL OCCASION.

ACTUALLY, IT'S FOR TWO SPECIAL OCCASIONS.

YOU'RE PREGNANT.

I SOLD ANOTHER PAINTING LAST NIGHT.

- NO, YOU DIDN'T. -YEAH.

WOW, WHICH ONE?

THE YELLOW AND BLUE ONE THAT LOOKS LIKE

SOMEONE DEFECATED ALL OVER IT.

OH, I LIKE THAT ONE.

WOW, THAT'S REALLY COOL. I'M REALLY PROUD OF YOU.

THANKS, BABY.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT ARE WE GONNA EAT?

IT'S ON ME.

WELL, IN THAT CASE, LET'S GET EVERYTHING.

I LIKE THAT PLAN.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S SEE.

OOH, I WANT TO GET THE CALAMARI,

AND I WANT TO BE THE ONE WEARING THE DRESS AT OUR WEDDING.

WHERE DID THAT COME FROM?

I DON'T KNOW, THE CALAMARI REMINDED ME OF IT.

YOU HAVE SUCH A STRANGE WAY OF COMMUNICATING.

IS IT OKAY?

WELL, IF YOU WEAR A DRESS-- I DON'T CARE IF YOU WEAR A POTATO SACK.

I JUST WANT TO BE MARRIED TO YOU.

OKAY, GOOD.

I WOULD ALSO LIKE THE CLAM CHOWDER.

AND I'M NOT GETTING A TATTOO.

-OH, I DIDN'T THINK YOU'D DO IT ANYWAY. - OKAY, GOOD.

IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE THAT THE MENU IS TELLING YOU?

UM, NO.

I THINK I'M ALL RIGHT FOR NOW.

-SO WE CAN ORDER? - YEP.

OKAY, GOOD.

YEAH, THAT'LL HAPPEN.

HELLO?

HI, JERRY. YEAH, IT'S ME.

NO, I JUST WOKE UP, THOUGHT I'D GIVE YOU

A LITTLE RING-A-DING.

NO, THE GROCERY GUY ALREADY BEEN HERE.

NO, I DIDN'T LET HIM IN.

NO, I DIDN'T EVEN OPEN THE DOOR.

BECAUSE I'M NOT READY FOR THAT.

LOOK, I'M NOT JUST GONNA GET UP AND GO OUT OF THIS APARTMENT

JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT ME TO, JERRY.

IT'S NOT THAT EASY.

NO, IT'S NOT.

MAYBE FOR YOU, BUT NOT FOR ME.

I'VE GOT PROBLEMS, OKAY?

WELL, YEAH, YOU KEEP SAYING THAT,

IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD, IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD.

BUT YOU DON'T TELL ME HOW TO FIX THE PROBLEMS.

WELL, THAT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN.

BECAUSE IT'S NOT.

LOOK, JERRY, WHY ARE YOU BEING LIKE THIS?

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?

LOOK, I DON'T NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW, JERRY.

YOU'RE BEING A COMPLETE ASS.

I AM NOT GOING OUTSIDE OF THE APARTMENT TODAY.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL ME WHERE WE'RE GOING, ARE YOU?

I DID TELL YOU WHERE WE'RE GOING.

WE'RE GOING TO THE VIDEO STORE.

WHAT, YOU DON'T THINK IT'D BE FUN?

-YOU WANT TO PLAY OUR GAME? -WHICH ONE?

THE LOONEY BIN GAME.

-OOH, FROM LAST NIGHT? -YEAH, IT'S A NEW ONE.

ALL RIGHT, IS IT A DRUG ADDICT OR AN ELDERY PERSON?

NEITHER.

-OKAY, NOT A CHILD. -NOPE.

OKAY, IT'S DEFINITELY NOT A MAN

'CAUSE THEY WOULD NEVER GO TO THE HOSPITAL ON THEIR OWN.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

UM, OKAY, SO IT'S A FEMALE.

I'M GONNA GUESS HER AGE IS BETWEEN 20 AND 30.

YEP, 29-YEAR-OLD FEMALE.

SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS PREGNANT AND THEN SHE STARTED HER PERIOD?

NO, THAT'S NO GOOD.

SHE HAD TO FART SO BAD THAT IT GAVE HER HEARTBURN,

SHE THOUGHT SHE WAS HAVING A HEART ATTACK?

NOT EVEN CLOSE.

OH.

OKAY, WHAT, BREAK-UP? SUICIDE?

NO, THAT'S OLD.

NO, NO, NO. I'M JUST GONNA GIVE YOU A HINT.

IT HAS TO DO WITH VANITY.

WHAT, LIKE A PLASTIC SURGERY MISHAP?

NOT THAT TRAUMATIC.

DYES, POISONS, ALLERGIES, COSMETICS?

YES, CLOSE. COSMETICS.

OKAY, IT'S COSMETICS BUT IT'S NOT ALLERGIES TO COSMETICS.

UM...

WHAT, LIKE COSMETICS TATTOOED ON HER FACE?