Carter

Good morning, Bishop!

Blaster 109.7.

We have got some special guests in the...

Hey!

What's up, Dave?

- Early bird catches the fish? - Me? Nah.

Just wanted to get your advice on something.

I'm thinking about getting a tattoo.

Is that ridiculous? Am I too old to be hopping on the tattoo train?

Hey, Harley.

Maybe I should just get a temporary tattoo. See if I like it.

Hey.

Harley?

Why didn't you tell me about this?

Good morning, Bishop!

Good morning.

Did you forget that night time is sleeping time?

Had kind of a rough one last night, Dot.

Nothing your award-winning coffee won't fix.

You're listening to Clifford and the Ape on Blaster, 109.7.

That's right, Bishop. Another Harley Carter sighting.

This time at a crime scene up at High Point. I mean, come on.

This guy has been pretending that he's real police for too long.

Mark, you are on the air.

Carter's a disgrace.

A spoiled Hollywood jerk.

He's spitting on the police department...

...and he's spitting on the taxpayer.

We solved that High Point case in record time.

The husband was standing over the wife's body screaming,...

..."I did it."

Well, yeah. Come on. They can't all be Agatha Christie.

What are you listening to this crap for anyway?

I'm waiting for the rock trivia contests.

Liar. Name one rock band.

- The Beatles. - Name one more.

Phantom of the Opera.

She likes to listen to what they say about you.

You have to know your enemies.

Dot, I don't have any enemies.

Hey, Ape, what's the name of that smokestack partner he's got?

Detective Sam Shaw.

Okay, so let me get this straight.

He leaves his wife so he can hop into a squad car...

...for some hot fuzz. Did I call that?

Did they just say that I left my wife to be with Sam?

Hold on, Clifford. We have another caller.

It's Harley Carter's agent!

Okay. Hey, guys. I know you're having your fun.

But I know Detective Shaw, and her and Harley's relationship...

...is strictly professional.

Didn't they grow up together?

Well, yeah.

Harley left Hollywood.

No, no. He is on hiatus.

To solve crimes with his childhood friend, Sam Shaw.

Who just happens to be the hottest woman in Bishop.

- Vijay, Vijay, don't. Vijay. - Never married...

No steady guy. Maybe she's just waiting...

...for her childhood sweetheart to come home.

No, they are not sweethearts!

Vijay, Vijay, shut up!

So they hate each other's guts?

Of course not. They love each other...

- They love each other! - No!

No, they love each other like friends, like friends.

You heard it here first! It's a Blaster 109.7 exclusive!

Where is he?

- Where is he? - I can see him.

Now would be the chance to fire him.

- I'm not gonna fire him. - You should at least make him cry.

That's your job, Dot.

What are you doing?

I was trying to run damage control.

Don't run damage control by causing more damage!

You know what? I'll fix it.

No, you won't, okay? Just let it die.

They'll move onto something else. They always do.

Do you think Detective Shaw was listening?

Let's hope, for our sakes, she was not.

- I'll call her. - No, you won't.

I'm confiscating this as a dangerous weapon.

Hey, you remember back in high school you used to read...

...all those books about interpreting dreams...

...because you kept having that one recurring nightmare?

God, yeah. The one where I had to go to the bathroom real bad.

Yeah, that's it, yeah!

And there was only one toilet and it was out in the open.

Right, I remember now.

The middle of the gym.

Okay, I got it.

During a pep rally.

Again, I remember.

What did that dream mean?

Something about my inability to express my emotions.

Really? What does that have to do with going pee in public?

You know what? Just never mind.

What does it mean if you have a dream...

...where your friend gets killed and it's kind of your fault?

That means that you're trying to kill off an unnecessary part of yourself.

Really?

No!

Dream interpretation is junk. It doesn't mean anything.

It just means what you want it to.

Who died?

You.

Me?

Okay, then it definitely means something.

What? What does it mean? Tell me!

Nothing! My God.

Wait, unless...

Do you want to kill me?

No.

- Then it doesn't mean anything. - Thanks, Dave.

You're a real help. You're a real straight shooter.

That's why I come to you.

Knock, knock!

What are you doing here? We don't have any open cases.

Just, seeing if you needed a hand.

Well, I've got two court appearances.

In the next three weeks, I have to tag 57 exhibits...

...and cross-reference my notes and prep for the prosecution.

Okay, well, seems like you got a handle on it.

What's on your mind, Harley?

I was just wondering if you know that gym that you're always...

...you're always sparring at? I was just wondering if you were...

...there this morning.

Okay.

Do you want to know if I was listening to the radio...

...while I was doing my sparring?

No, no. Nah.

Or if I heard your agent talking to Clifford and the Ape?

He was on there?

Do I look like I care what some idiot says about me on the radio?

Look, Vijay meant well.

No, I'm talking about those other two jerks.

Please, it's background noise.

Besides, "smokestack partner."

I mean, there are worse things I could be called.

Yeah, but you're not upset about the other stuff that they said?

Detective! Something's going on.

- What the hell are you doing, man? - Clifford, are you okay?

- Get off me, you maniac! - Say something if you're okay!

This has gotta be one of their pranks, right?

- I don't know... - Put that down!

My God! Clifford!

Did we just hear what I think we heard?

- Where's the booth? - It's right over there!

- Are you the cops? - Sorry, I'm gonna...

- Where's Clifford? - What are you doing here?

- He's at his house! - But he was attacked on air.

He broadcasts from his home studio.

Whoever attacked him did it there!

He must be in trouble. He's not answering his phone.

Well, what about his partner, the Ape? Where is he?

I'm the Ape! We've gotta go!

Leave it to the police, Mr. Ape.

Okay, you go around back and I'll take the front.

Sam!

Put your hands up! Do it, now.

- I didn't do anything. - Where is Clifford Branly?

I don't know!

All right, get her in the car. Keep an eye on her. You're with me.

Yeah.

Okay, you clear down here. I'll go up.

All right.

Hey, Rafalski says the house is clear.

- Nobody's downstairs. - Yup, nobody up here, either.

Well, what do you mean?

Isn't this his studio?

Looks like, but if he was attacked here, where's the body?

The door was open when I got here.

I called out. Nobody answered, so,...

...you know, I went in.

How do you know Mr. Branly?

I don't. I don't know Clifford. Not really.

Well, then, what were you doing here?

He asked me to come here to say he was sorry.

What for?

It was like, this stupid thing three years ago.

Clifford and the Ape took an inappropriate picture of me...

...at the Blaster Beach Bash.

They posted it up online.

It wasn't a big deal. I was surprised that he called.

What is the Blaster Beach Bash?

It's a bunch of idiots...

...trying to turn Bishop into Daytona Beach.

I've been to the real thing. It's...

...pretty cool there if you can get over the fact...

...that every grain of sand smells like urine.

Detective.

- Yeah? - Yeah?

We're ready for you.

Okay, we may need to ask you a few more questions.

Of course.

Tell me what you see.

What, something on the carpet?

It's what's not here that's interesting.

I found these fibres tangled up in the wheels of that office chair,...

...and judging by the colours and quality,...