Serenade of Texas (Sérénade au Texas)

Inspector, I'm sorry but our director is away.

That's perfect. I will explain myself directly with the seller.

What a dressing down he's going to get, that one.

He prefers arguing with the police commissioner.

- The commissioner? - In person, I don't know what's going on.

He looks furious.

Didn't he come here yesterday?

Yes, exactly.

Here, in my department.

What? Aren't you afraid of a poor little civil servant?

Oh yes.

I'm not surprised. You're afraid of everything.

You are not kind to me.

Mr Dardel, is it deliberately that you cause trouble for the elegant ladies of Bayonne?

Allow me, I don't need you. It is my job to question people.

Certainly, inspector.

Open. Please, inspector.

Are you making fun of me for pleasure or out of sheer stupidity?

Oh but I would never dare, inspector.

Meanwhile, because of you, I looked like an idiot last night. Don't protest.

Yes or no, did I come yesterday afternoon to buy this graphophone cylinder from you?

But certainly, inspector, Mayol's latest novelty.

Woman, how beautiful you are.

Mine received all Bayonne last night. I announce Mayol. Great impression.

I start the machine.

- Nothing. - Nothing?

But yet the label says...

Oh yes, really, you know how to read?

Yes inspector, but the lorgnette bothers me.

Why do you wear one?

Oh because it looks more serious at work.

Ah woman, how beautiful you are.

Oh yes? Then show them... or admit that you are lying. It won't go like this.

Allow me.

Woman, how beautiful you are played by the melodious finches of Montmartre

under the direction of maestro Clapisson.

So where is Mayol?

I'm mistaken, aren't I?

My wife was furious. What I got in front of everyone! Thank you.

It is regrettable, inspector, but it is nevertheless the music.

Bravo! And you think that is enough for me? I am not buying the seller with the cylinder.

It is Mayol whom I paid to have at home. Not you.

Excuse me, inspector, but when I hear the music, I forget everything else.

Yes, but not me.

So, what do I say to my wife?

Another song.

Yvette Gilbert's cab. No.

Abiribi by Aristide Brouillant. Do you take me for an anarchist?

Oh, far from happiness, that's good.

It is sentimental and madam will certainly like it.

Listen inspector.

Far from happiness by the Chariovski gypsy ensemble.

Hello sir.

You are Mr Jack Gardel?

Not at all.

Where is he? There, the seller.

Allow me?

Ah, Mr Jacques Gardel, you are an Indian.

- What? - But finally, sir, who are you?

Master Jérôme Kilbuff, notary's clerk from father to son since Louis XIV in Honfleur, Calvados.

And what do you want?

Mr Jacques Gardel.

Me? Why? What have I done?

You are an Indian, no discussion, come with me.

He is a madman, a furious madman perhaps.

But certainly, my friend, Mr Gardel is an Indian.

Everything that is most Indian. A real Redskin.

- Are you satisfied? - Do you take me for a madman?

Good, come with me.

Never in my life. I don't know him.

- I did nothing. - But I accuse you of nothing.

On the contrary, I bring you fortune.

In there, sir, there are fertile lands as far as the eye can see, thousands

heads of cattle, oceans of oil, luxury… an incalculable fortune.

Finally, half of an incalculable fortune. Come, I have to speak to you.

Are you going to leave us alone, yes or no?

But pardon! Who are you to speak in this tone to Master Jérôme Kilbuf?

The police commissioner.

Inspector, for more than a year I have been travelling through France

to find this man, and you would like to prevent me from speaking to him?

I intend to put an end to a scandal. Follow me.

I respect the law too much to disobey. But you will have big troubles.

We'll see about that.

Good, I follow you. See you later, little Redskin.

Excuse me sir. Is it for dinner?

No, I wanted to know if Mr Kilbuf is here, please?

There is a gentleman there.

Can I look?

Of course.

- It is him. He is calm. - Very. Why?

He has not uttered abnormal cries.

Not yet. But if you prevent me from bringing him his second ox, that could happen.

What a fork! An ogre. I will go with you.

Ah, there you are. Sit down. You have dined, I hope? Good, all the better.

- But I didn't ask for more vegetables. - That's the garnish, sir.

- Without extra charge? - Without extra charge.

Perfect.

So, is my friend the inspector better?

Did he have something?

Fear, you think! Kidnapping, public defamation, arbitrary detention.

It did not take him long to understand that I had ten times enough to blow him up.

He wanted to please me, so I made him swear to bring you back dead or alive.

If it is to call me an Indian again, it wasn't worth it.

I have been looking for you for more than a year to announce this good news to you.

But I didn't ask you for anything.

And I bring you everything.

Come closer, come closer.

And greet your ancestor, the great Natola, who came to France with the Marquis de Rochambau.

The little newspaper of January 7, 1899, the reading of which put me on the trail.

You can check, it is there. Oil-bearing lands in Texas.

Near the small village of Bingbang, the specialized engineers

that the sub-soil... Will you come here?

These lands are still the property of your ancestor.

I have a hundred times enough there to prove it. You are the legitimate heir in the fifth generation.

So there you are, fabulously rich. And me too, obviously. I decided we would share.

Agreed? That's normal. But tell me, it will cost us money to go there.

Ah, because you have also decided that I should drop everything to follow you.

Drop what?

My situation. My little fixed income, I don't want to give up 400 francs a year

to chase after chimeras, Indians, oil at the end of the world.

I don't know you. I understand nothing of your stories and I don't believe in them.

Come with me to Big Bang, you will understand. We will be rich.

Go there alone if you want. I'm not crazy.

But you are, you are crazy to refuse a fortune ready-made. Come.

Ah, do you think they will give it to me like that, without arguing?

But obviously, we have the law on our side.

A few pleasant days at sea, the comfortable American trains.

- And if they throw us out? - I won't let that happen.

You understood that it was not my kind. I have my papers, and I will fight if necessary.

But that is not the question. I have made inquiries.

Bing bang in the middle of cattle country is a peaceful farmers' village.

The climate is healthy. The inhabitants welcoming with gentle and patriarchal customs.

Take note, boss. He doesn't scare me.

- It's for the chest. - There is no danger now.

No danger of what, you bunch of cowards?

- To defend yourself? - To be shot down.

- Ah if you had let me do it. - They would have set my shack on fire. Thanks.

So we are going to let them make the law.

Hey, can you read?

- They are strong because of our weakness, that's all. - Sam wanted to show off too.

In the end, his ranch burned down.

So you think I can defend you alone against masked riders?

Why did nobody shoot here? Are you afraid?

Yes.

Allow me, gentlemen, on behalf of the American government,

to congratulate you on the confidence that your journey

shows towards American justice and laws.

It matters little to us whether the land of Bing bang belonged

100 years ago or 1000 years ago to an Indian who left his country never to return there

and settle abroad.

Today you bring us irrefutable proof that the gentleman is the last

and sole descendant of this primitive son of free America.

We ask nothing else of you.

We are pleased to see returned to its rightful owner, a soil

and a sub-soil to which the future exploitation of oil will give considerable value.

- 500 dollars. - Pardon?

The registration fees are 500 dollars.

Ah, I should have thought of that. Neither have I, I have never given my stamped paper for free.

500 dollars for oil-bearing lands, that is a trifle.

Uh, couldn't I pay on the return when we have sold some oil?

- Ah, you know that the law is the law. - Better than anyone unfortunately.

And if we pay, how much do we have left to go to Big Bang?

53 dollars.

- And if we don't pay? - You cannot assert your rights.

- With 53 dollars, can we return to France? - But no.

Can we go to Big Bang?

All that remains is for us to be repatriated by the consul.

Never. I would rather go on foot begging. I have the law on my side. Come on, send the oil.

Go there alone if you want. I am going back.

But never in my life. I need you. I have no right to claim anything.

- And my share then? - I don't care.

- Don't you want to become rich? - I want to stay quiet.

Then you should not have come here.

50 dollars, isn't that enough?

But you have to make sacrifices, come on.

Me too. You can see that.

Hold the horses.

And my towel.

They are high in this country.

Hold them well, won't you?

- Give me my towel, please. - Yes. And me?

Give the towel, come on. How awkward you are, my friend.

So,

be careful.

And me then?

Don't make that face. We are on the road to fortune.

It is a nice road to fortune. We are not ready to see the end of it.

- Do you know why you are making that face? - Yes.

Not at all. It is because you are hungry.

- No, I am not hungry. - But I am hungry.

- You will eat at the next village. - We have 2 dollars left.

We won't eat much.

I am hungry.

- Again! - I haven't eaten since last night.

Because besides, you have to eat twice a day.

- It is an old habit. - Is Big Bang far away?

I have the map here.

- Oh dear. - What oh dear?

- Oh nothing. No, it's fine. - Good.

- Those horses are lucky. - Why?