Fuck Me, Richard

I love you.

I love your wide eyes, the way you smile, and your shyness,

and the way you laugh at my jokes.

- Please don't. - I love you. You love me too.

It's no use pretending it hasn't happened because it has.

Yes, it has.

I don't want to pretend anything either to you or to anyone

else.

But from now on, I shall have to.

That's what's wrong, don't you see?

That's what spoils everything.

That's why we must stop here in our talking like this.

When neither of us is free to love each other,

there's too much in the way.

There's still time.

If we control ourselves, behave like sensible human beings,

there's still time.

There's no time at all.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello.

You have a voice.

I have a voice.

And you have a voice.

I do

A sexy voice.

Stop.

You're been making me blush.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I can't help it.

That was really lame.

It's cute.

You're cute.

I like it.

All my friends come in and check in on me.

Well, your friend sound great.

Bring me food and...

so my first boyfriend, his name is Jake.

He cheated on me with a girl called Hannah.

So then I started going out with his best friend Matt

as like revenge for the fact that he cheated on me.

Who wants to go to Germany?

A lot of people want to go to Germany. What's wrong with you?

You know, they have terrible food

and no sense of humor and the weather's awful.

You're going to fucking hate it.

OK. Well, thank you, travel advisor.

Where would you want to run away together?

It's me and you.

I'm running my hands down your chest, over your legs.

Pushing your hands back behind your head

and whispering in your ear how bad I want you.

God, I want you.

I can't stop thinking about you.

And every time I close my eyes, I see your face.

I wish I could just be in the room with you.

Turn around, see you walking towards me.

I take you in, and we dance.

And I hold you in my arms and never let go.

That's what I want.

I know we've never met before, but I'm falling for you.

Richard?

Yeah.

Do you think we're ever going to meet in person?

Of course.

Work's just a little crazy right now.

But as soon as things calm down, I'm coming for you.

I just really like to see you.

It's been a really tough year with everything

that happened with my mom.

What do you mean your mom?

What do you mean?

Yeah, she passed away last year.

Sally, I'm so sorry.

I didn't know.

I didn't know.

It's just... it's been really hard, and you're so amazing.

And I just...

I want this to be real.

OK, OK. Wait, wait. I'm coming.

I'll make it work.

- Really? - Yeah, yeah.

I'm going to book my ticket right now. I'm coming.

I don't want to be without you anymore.

All right, so where are you going

to take me on our first date?

How do you like Italian?

I like Italian.

I thought that was French.

Rigatoni.

I didn't know you speak Italian.

Yes, si.

Rome, the colosseum.

My God.

Sally, I'm so sorry.

What happened?

It's terrible.

You didn't answer my calls.

I know, I know.

I'm sorry.

I was worried about you.

I know. I'm sorry, baby.

But listen, my mother got into an accident.

My God.

Yeah.

Yeah, I had to fly home.

Is she OK?

No, she's all banged up.

She broke ribs, ankles.

She's on dialysis.

She damaged her kidneys.

Doctor says she needs a transplant.

It's a mess.

They found a donor, but they're not going to operate.

Why not?

Because I can't afford it, Sally.

I'm scraping together everything I have.

I've reached out to everyone I know.

It's embarrassing.

You need money.

Yeah, yeah, I do.

I really do.

How much?

4,000.

I've reached out to every single person I can think of.

Can I write you a check?

No, no.

Sally, that... no, you don't have to do that.

But I want to help.

Sally, that would mean so much to me.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you too.

OK, so what do I do?

Do I cancel it?

No, no, don't cancel it in case it shows up.

But I think you're going to have to send another.

Another?

Yeah, another.

I mean, she still needs a surgery.

Yeah, but what if the first one arrives?

Then no big deal.

I'll tear it up.

I guess that works.

I need 6,000.

Six?