The Night Flier

1-0-1, Bravo Lima,

Come In, Over.

1-0-1, Bravo Lima,

I Can't Have You Sitting In The Middle Of My Runway,

Respond, Over.

This Is Buck Kendall Trying You Again.

1-0-1, Bravo Lima,

You Gotta Move It, And I Mean Now Not Later.

Why Do All The Weird Ones Have To Fly At Night?

Okay.

You Don't Wanna Move...

I'll Move Youmyself.

Okay, Let's Roll It Off On The Grass.

Curtains?

Hey, Hey, Hey, Buddy!

Buddy!

You In There, Friend?

Good Lord!

What Happened Inhere?

Oh, Jesus...

Save Me.

Ma'am, When Thesealiens Were Examining You,

Was There Any Penetration Involved?

A 14-Year-Old Tennis Star

Shouldn't Be Shootin' Up On Heroin Anyway!

It'll Mess Up Her Backhand!

Frontal Nudity, Backalnudity,Side-Alnudity,

He's Famous Enough, We'll Print Whatever You Got.

You're Damn Right, What Time?

Tattoo? Yeah, He Do.

Let Me See That.

Hey!

Give That Back!

Where's My Picture?

Where's My Goddamn Dead Baby?!

I Told You Before, Libby, Do Not Fuck With My Stuff.

And I Told You Before, Don'tfuckwith Me.

Morrison Cut Your Goddamn Dead Baby.

You Got A Problem With That, Hotshot,

Take It Up With Him.

Let Me Tell You What "Inside View" Is, Miss Blair...

It's A Microscope...

A Cultural Microscope

Focusing In On The Collective Unconscious

Of The American Populace.

Now What We Do Here At "Inside View", Katherine,

Is Identify And Define The Cultural Archetype

Of The American Mind.

Now, Read That List Back To Me,

The Stories I Want You Looking For.

Alien Abductions...

Amusing Animal Stories...

Attacks On The Handicapped.

Only If It Has A Twist,

Some Kind Of Kinky Sex In There Or Something.

Battered Wives...

Bizarre Body Functions...

Breast Surgery Horror Stories.

That's Always Good.

"C", Celebrities... Addicted, Perverted,

Dying, Dead.

And Of Course Back From The Dead.

Demonic Possession...

Just Because You Don't Have Any Balls

Doesn't Mean You Can Cut Mine Off.

'Morning, Richard.

Do You Know What I Had To Do With That Morgue Attendant

To Get That Picture?

Do You Have Any Idea How Cold Those Slabs Are?

Katherine, This Emotionally Unstable Individual

Is Richard Dees, Our Senior Reporter.

Katherine Blair.

It's Very Nice To Meet You.

Did He Spout Off About That

Collective Unconsciousness Crap Yet?

Katherine, We'll Finish This Later.

Sure, No Problem.

Thank You, Mr. Morrison, For Everything.

I Won't Let You Down.

Welcome To "Inside View", Katherine.

Thanks.

It Was Nice Meeting You.

What About My Picture?

We All Love Your Pictures,

But In The Future, Just As A Rough Guideline,

Let's Keep The Victims Over Two Years Old, Okay?

Now Sit Down, Please, I Gotta Show You Something.

Sorry, Mr. Morrison,

I Forgot My Purse.

Thank You.

So What Do You Think Of Katherine?

Another Jimmy Olsen.

She Doesn't Have Much Experience

But She's Sharp, Good Instincts,

Great Ass.

Did You Mention To Her

Why The Position Opened Up?

Of Course I Didn't, I Wanted Tohireher, Not Scare Her Away.

There's No Reason She Needs To Know About Dottie.

Anyway, Look, Here's Your Next Assignment.

I Thought I Was Doing Nina Briggs.

She's Down To 75 Pounds, She Won't Be Around For Long.

She Can Stay Or Go,

Who Cares? A Country Star With Aids?

That's Way Too Soft A Story For You.

Besides, This Is Much More Up Your Alley.

This Is Gonna Be A Big One, Richard, Really Big.

A Lot Of People Are Gonna Wanna Read About This Guy.

There's Nothing Here.

A Man...

No, A Man Who Thinks He's More Than A Man.

Flies Into Desolate Airports In The Middle Of The Night,

And Kills Whatever Poor Schmuck Happens To Be Around...

Drains The Body Of The Blood.

Then He Flies Away Again

In Search Of His Next Unsuspecting Victim.

And He Calls Himself Dwight Renfield.

Dwight Just Happens To Be The First Name Of An Actor

Named Dwight Fry,

Who Played The Role Of Renfield,

The Bug Eating Lunatic In The 1931 Version Of "Dracula".

C'mon, Richard, That's Not A Story?!

The Guy's A Movie Fan, So What?

Vampires Are A Dime A Dozen In The Tabs.

Next Time This Psycho Goes Out They're Gonna Nail Him.

Why Is That?

They've Got The Make Of His Plane And The Tail Number.

If You Wanted To Rob Banks,

Would You Do It With The Same Car And License Plate Every Time?

No One's Caught Himyet.

Look, Put That Pilot License And Plane Of Yours To Some Use.

Besides, You're Good With The Hicks, You're The Best.

Thank You.

You Need This One, Richard, Take My Word On It.

Your Work Has Been A Little Lacking Lately.

You Haven't Hit The Front Pages Inmonths,

And This Is Front Page Material!

This Is A Waste Of Space Is What It Is.

It's A Waste Of My Time.

I'll Still Gonna Run It, With Or Without You!

And It's Gonna Be A Screamer, Guarantee It!

Why Don't You Give It To Jimmy?

Something Nice And Juicy For Her To Sink Her Teeth Into.

Fucking Prick!

"Lacking" My Ass.

Oh,Shit!

Hi, Mr. Dees.

Hi.

I'm Katherine Blair,

We Met This Morning In Mr. Morrison's Office.

You Remember Me?

I Remember You, Jimmy.

"Jimmy. "

As In "Olsen".

You Mind If I Join You?

Do I Have A Choice?

No.

So...

What An Exciting First Day This Turned Out To Be.

I Already Got My First Assignment,

A Piece About A Psycho Pilot

Who Thinks He's A Vampire.

I Know, I Already Pissed On It-

I Passed On It.

Why Are You Here?

I Doubt You Followed Me Just To Shoot The Shit.

I Didn't Follow You.

I Was Just-

It Doesn't Matter.

You're Here Now, What Do You Want?

Well, Okay...

I Guess I Was Hoping

Thatyoucould Give Me The Inside View Of "Inside View".

Who Better To Learn From Than The Paper's Star Reporter?

Maybe You Could Share Your Philosophy With Me.

My "Philosophy".

Your Secret, For Staying On Top So Long.

I'd Love To Hear It.

That Is If You Have One.

Uh...

Okay.

Here It Is, You Better Take Notes...

Never Believe What You Publish...

And Never Publish What You Believe.

What's The Matter, I Talk Too Fast?

I Guess I Was Just Expecting

Something More.

From Someone Who Thinks Of Himself As A-

As A What?

Well...

A Real Reporter.

Ha!

Ha-Ha!

Let Me Ask You A Question.

What The Fuck Do You Know About Being A Real Reporter?

Goddamnit!

I'm Sorry, I Didn't Mean To Offend You.

Why Don't We Start Over?

I Know Your Story, Honey, I Heard It A Million Times.

You Come From Lockport Or Rockport,