My Husbands Killer Girlfriend

Shh, shh, shh, shh.

Well, thank you for coming over,

and I have your number,

so I will give you a call.

Hope you have a great day.

'Kay, bye.

Hi! - Hi.

You must be Valerie Dobbs.

It's nice to meet you. Ms. Watts?

Please, call me Leah.

Come on in.

Thank you.

Wow. Such a lovely home you have.

Thank you very much.

Come meet Emma.

This is Emma.

Hi, Emma.

Emma, remember what we talked about?

We have to say hi to our guests.

Hi!

Are you coloring?

May I help you?

Is that okay?

Of course.

Um...

I'll, make us some coffee?

I would love that.

You can color this one.

Thank you, Emma.

This one?

Okay.

Here you go!

Thank you.

Yeah, you're welcome.

Here's your phone.

Emma was playing with it.

Thanks.

Well, your reviews were great,

and the references were unanimous...

That I would be a fool not to hire you.

Honestly, it all seemed too good to be true,

but now that I see you in person,

I see that you really do have a way with kids.

Well, children are my life.

I'm just happy you aren't old as the hills

or dressed like it's Halloween.

You wouldn't believe the people that come to these interviews.

So...

Here's the thing.

I'm an insurance adjuster,

and, last year, I took some personal time off,

and now my boss expects me to say "how high?"

When he asks me to jump.

And then, on Friday,

he drops this file into my lap out of nowhere...

Three days in DC, assessing a claim.

And then my regular nanny quits.

When it rains, it pours.

Right?

Bottom line is,

I'm in a bind,

and I need someone by tomorrow.

Well, what about her father?

Or is he not...

We're divorced.

So that's what the personal time was for?

Yeah. It's kind of a mess.

And you don't want to give her to him,

because then he's gonna lord it over you,

like they love to do, right?

You got it!

Cheers.

Mommy?

Teddy's hurt.

Does Teddy have a boo-boo?

Okay, well, let me kiss it better, okay?

Mwah!

There you go... all better.

It's not.

It's not?

Yeah.

Hi, Emma.

Guess what?

If your mommy lets me watch over you,

then you and I are gonna build Teddy

a very special cast, okay?

Yeah.

Well, I'm sold.

Are you sure you can

handle this holy terror for three days?

Please say yes.

Only three days?

I just want her forever.

Be careful what you wish for.

I know, I know. I packed way too much.

Hey, listen.

I didn't have time to file for the employment paperwork...

But I should find time in the evening,

so I'll do it at the hotel.

Just don't even bother. You're gonna be so busy.

We'll just do the paperwork when you get back.

Really? You don't mind being paid in cash?

Absolutely not!

You hire a nanny to make your life easier,

not more complicated, right?

That is so true.

Okay. Well, let's see.

This should cover the first week's wages.

And then...

Here's for your expenses... Just keep the receipts, okay?

Absolutely.

I'm gonna miss you so much, kiddo!

I love you!

I love you, too.

We'll facetime every night, won't we?

Well, you'd better!

How about 6:00 P.M. your time?

Sure.

And, if there's an emergency,

her father's number is on the fridge,

but only if it's a real emergency,

like, rampaging dinosaurs or alien invasions or something.

Not gonna happen.

No.

Don't worry, Ms. Watts.

Please, call me Leah.

Okay.

I'll be right there!

Let me get a picture of you two.

Huh?

Okay.

One, two, three... Say "cheese!"

Cheese!

You moved.

Sorry. Just, some allergies.

Here. Let me get another one.

No, no, you're just gonna miss your flight.

We'll take another one later and we'll send it, right?

Okay. Well, don't forget.

All right.

Can't forget this!

Okay! Bye, Emma! I love you.

Bye! Thank you so much, Valerie.

Say bye!

Come on, let's go play!

Hi, Adam. Nice to hear from you.

Ditto.

Can we talk about Emma's birthday?

The 7th is coming up fast.

Leah? You still there?

Yeah.

I don't hear any screaming.

You're not letting her watch TV, are you?

You know what they say about kids and screen time.

Yes, I know what they say.

Can we talk about this some other time?

When?

I'll email you.

Today? Tomorrow?

I don't know. Okay?

I'm really swamped with work right now.

Why don't you just get whatever you want,

and I'll put a good spin on it.

Wow. Where's the old Leah, and what have you done with her?

What is that supposed to mean?

I don't know.

You're usually such a tiger mom about this stuff.

I'm sorry if I can't be perfect all the time.

I wasn't suggesting...

No, I know what you were suggesting.

Okay? I can hear it in your voice.

You only have two tones lately... Sarcastic and critical.

Why do these conversations always have to end

with us trying to claw each other's eyes out?

I don't know. Let me think.

Maybe because you decided to fight it out in court

instead of behaving like a rational adult?

Ms. Watts?

Hey, Valerie!

I screwed up.

It's Emma's birthday on Thursday

and I will get her something in DC,

but I won't be back till Friday,

and if Adam shows up, can you cover for me?

I just... I don't want him to know

that I spaced out on this,

or he'll never let me live it down.

That's not a problem, Ms. Watts.

I mean, Leah.

You are a lifesaver.

You just have a great flight and don't worry about a thing.

Your daughter is in great hands.

Thanks.

Bye, Valerie.

Emma, Emma, Emma... Ticky-ticky-ticky!

Hi. It's Valerie. Leave a message

and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

Hey, Valerie. It's Leah.

I'm trying to start a video chat with you,

but I'm guessing you're still having problems?