The Farmhouse (La masía)

Hi, my name is Helga.

I'm 12 years old

and no, I'm not in the mood.

I am very clear about what is cool

and what is not cool in life.

Air guitar is cool.

TikToks are not cool.

Horror movies are cool.

Love movies suck.

Bah... Love is generally not cool

It makes people assholes, like it's happening now

to my mother with her new boyfriend,

a half shitty guy who keeps talking shit on her ear all day long.

So now she takes no notice of me anymore

and has left me for a few days

with my grandparents, who she also ignores pretty much.

I haven't seen them since I was little,

I only remember

the smell of pot meat, the cheek pinching,

the fucking concerts of "gralla"...

and a country house that scared the shit out of me.

HERE LIVES A CATALAN

Welcome home, Helga.

Damn it!

Get in.

Guifré

leave the girl, you bastard,

get out!

Let's go...

Did you see how cute we were as a young couple?

Montse sweetie, look who's here!

Grandma, half of her body is asleep,

she's missing one arm and she's not all there.

They say she had an accident once,

but... I think she's too lazy to walk.

- Montse. - My real father told me...

...that she reported some communists during the war, and that a coronel

compensated her with gold,

but I think that if she were rich, she wouldn't live in this shitty house.

Well, she will say hello later,

it's just that when she watches TV

there's no way she'll pay attention to anything else.

Here,

alphabet soup!

The one you like,

with homemade meatballs.

I liked it when I was little.

Come on, don't be a city slicker and eat it,

you're too scrawny, girl.

Here, Grandma.

Come on.

Grandpa always cooks soup,

soup and those nasty meatballs,

but he also takes care of Grandma.

The poor woman I don't know how she does it

since she only has one arm,

They are very scary.

As you can see my grandparents are not cool. NOT COOL

HELLO

Would you like some?

I'm 12.

That's why I'm telling you, fuck it,

today's youth can't even stand half a slap in the face.

We're not having dinner today either, ay...

What were you saying?

SOS

If you are not eating it, I'll give it to the dog.

Here Guifré, take it!

Hours here go by slowly and tediously,

sometimes it's cold,

sometimes it's hot,

or maybe it's menopause that's hitting me.

If I can get that fucking tractor started,

maybe I'll be able to go home.

Are you asking me for help, grandma?!

Is it grandpa?

Is he dangerous?

Guifré! Come on, come over here!

Let's cut some meat

Hey, what are you two doing here?

Let's go inside and I'll make lunch.

Come on, let's go inside.

Strange things are happening in this country house.

maybe it has something to do with the Communists' gold...

Come on, stay still,

I'll hurt you even more,

bloody hell.

Hold still sweetie.

What happened to grandma?

I cut her a little by accident, shaving her four hairs,

she's very flirty.

Damn TV, what a piece of shit.

Pantry?

Now I'm listening! Come on!

Come on! Kill him! Kill him!

LUNGS-CHEST

STOMACH-THIGHS

LUNGS-BOLLOCKS

LIVER

Helga!

What are you doing here?

I can see you've discovered my little secret, haven't you?

The best meat in the county, girl.

Come, you'll help me