Columbo

I am the Resurrection and the life.

The man who believes in me will live, even if he dies.

And every living person who puts faith in me will never suffer eternal death.

Lord, you wept at the death of Lazarus, your friend.

Comfort us in our sorrow.

We ask this in faith.

Lord, hear our prayer.

You raise the dead to life.

Give our sister eternal life. We ask this in faith.

Lord, hear our prayer.

Bring our sister to the joys of heaven.

Lord, hear our prayer.

Our sister was washed clean in baptism and anointed with the oil of salvation.

Give her fellowship with all your saints.

Why don't you cry? Damn it. I cried.

Oh, yes, Lieutenant, I could give you lessons on that.

Don't you understand?

Hasn't it hit you yet? Your precious wife is gone for good.

Dead and gone.

And, oh, how I've waited and prayed for this moment.

Don't worry, my dear friend. You'll be joining her soon enough,

but not until you've felt the pain, the way I did.

I'm entitled to that much. You don't know what happened, do you?

But you'll know soon enough because I'm going to tell you...

when it's too late for you to do anything about it.

You're stupid, Columbo, just like Charlie was.

Poor Charlton, he never saw it coming.

I realize the master suite isn't too big.

But the builder says the wall to the adjoining guest room...

could be knocked down and the rooms combined.

Not too big?

Ma'am, back in Virginia, we had a stable smaller than that bathroom.

George, you make it sound like we lived in a shack.

I'm beginning to think we did.

Don't misunderstand, Mrs. Dimitri. Oh, the house is gorgeous...

Isn't it? I knew you'd love it, even if it's a hair above your limit.

You've got that right, little lady. Look, ma'am, back in Warrenton,

we had ourselves a real fine place on 50 prime acres.

Sold it for 1.1 million.

Now, I come out here, and you show me this house for 6 million.

Look, Mr. Thornwood, I'm gonna be honest with you.

There are a couple of properties I could have shown you...

that go for as little as, say, 3.5, 4 million.

But you wouldn't have been happy with either the house or the neighborhood.

Try me.

George, don't be such a bore. It took you nine years...

to get out of that dreadful city and we are not going back.

Good afternoon. Charlton Chambers Real Estate.

Hi, Dede, is he there?

Oh, hi, Mrs. Dimitri. He's got Abe with him.

Put me through. I'm gonna make his day.

Oh, I hope so.

He just finished spending an hour with Mr. Connolly...

and his lawyer. Hang on.

Look at these, Abe, you're making this house look like a dump.

It is a dump. You ever seen it?

Look, I want low-angle shots. Make the place look bigger, you know.

And I don't wanna see the place next door. I don't have that listed.

Also, I want the flower garden in the foreground.

Give me lots of color! Make the place look like San Simeon.

Hey, I'm good, but I don't work miracles.

Oh. Yeah, Dede?

Mrs. Dimitri on line one, sir. She says it's muy importante.

I'll take it. I wanna see a new set first thing tomorrow.

You want me to shoot in the dark?

Don't argue with me, Abe, just do it, do it.

Hi, babe, what's up?

My income, last time I looked.

I just unloaded the Smith place to a couple of tourists from back East.

That white elephant? What did you get? 4.5? 5?

5.7, in writing, with a binder for $250,000.

Vivian, I knew the day I hired you, you were a born thief.

Well, I learned from the master. Look, Charlie,

there's some contingencies in this deal that I need to discuss with you,

but I am wiped out right now.

Suppose we get together this evening and go over them,

say, 7:30 at the office?

7:30? It's Friday night, babe. Everybody's out of here by 6:00.

Besides, there's a game at the sports arena.

Look, I've been running on adrenaline fumes since Tuesday afternoon.

I need a nap and a bath before my wheels come off.

Sure, Vivian, whatever you say. 7:30.

Incidentally, what's new at Falcon Ridge?

Been served with any subpoenas lately?

You got a very macabre sense of humor, you know that?

Dede says that Mitchell Connolly burst into the office again.

This time with a lawyer?

Don't worry about Connolly and those other crybabies.

They'll fade away, they always do. Especially that ape, Connolly.

See you tonight, kid.

Bye, Charlie.

Vivian, it's Dr. Steadman.

I was concerned when I didn't hear from you last week.

I hope everything's all right.

I know how well you've been coping, but you're not superhuman.

I think you still need support, if not from me,

then from a psychiatrist there in Los Angeles.

As I've told you, I'd be happy to recommend someone.

Give me a call when you get a chance, either here at the hospital or at my home.

You have both numbers.

Yes, Frances?

It's your real estate woman on the phone, Mr. St. John.

Oh, thanks, I'll take it.

Vivian, I was just thinking about you.

I've been thinking about you all day long.

Am I gonna see you tonight?

Of course.

Oh, I was afraid your wife might have changed her mind...

about her trip to Sacramento.

Elizabeth is pathologically dedicated to the...

plight of the condor. Why, I don't know. Damn bird's nothing but an overgrown vulture.

It deserves to be extinct.

Well, I have a few things to attend to, you know, in the office.

Suppose we make it 8:30.

Excellent.

I've discovered this wonderful little Italian restaurant in Venice.

Not in the mood. We agreed on the Penthouse Cafe.

Besides, I'm feeling sentimental. Humor me, Leland.

Oh, if only you weren't so damned persuasive.

Good!

So we'll meet at 8:30, and over the vichyssoise, we can discuss real estate.

Of course, darling. Until then.

Real estate.

Police headquarters. Homicide Division.

Lieutenant Columbo, please.

I'm sorry, he's not in right now.

Is he still on his vacation? This is his dentist's office.

I understood he would be back today.

Well, he's back, but he doesn't report in until tomorrow morning.

I see. Early tomorrow morning?

Probably around 8:00. I'm sure you can get him at home.

No, that's okay. I'll call back tomorrow. Thank you.

Watch the lane, you dummy!

Oh, beautiful! Give him a free shot.

Oh! Why don't we give him two free shots?

Losing another one, Charlie?

Matter of fact, I'm up by 7.00 I just like the aggravation.

Anyway, with these guys, 7 points is nothing.

How about a drink?

Sure. Rum and Coke, for old time's sake.

Oh, you look pretty sharp, Viv. You got a date?

It's Friday night, Charlie.

Mind if I turn that thing off? I like to hear myself think.

Sure, go ahead.

- Rum and Coke, huh? - Mmm-hmm.

I haven't seen you drink one of these things since 10 years ago...

when you and Pete, and me and Rita were hitting some of the high spots.

Some that weren't so high, right, Viv?

I remember some of those dives you used to love to hang out in.

Is that why Rita finally gave up on you?

She couldn't stand the atmosphere?

Or maybe she just got tired of her husband hitting on her best friend.

She never knew about that, swear to God. Unless you told her.

Me? What for?

Well, maybe if I'd thought you were a problem...

but I never took you that seriously, Charlton.

You were all talk then. Like now.

Nothing changes.

What are you doing, Viv? Biting the hand that feeds you?

I don't deserve that crack.

I'm sorry, I forgot. You're the guy...

who rescued me from the rubber room, brought me back to L.A.,

put me in a nice house, gave me a job.

Now that you mention it.

Ten years, a lot of water under the bridge.

Rita walks out on you,

Pete leaves me... I mean, not like he had a choice.

When the state slaps you with 10 to 20 for manslaughter,

tosses you in San Quentin, you don't have a lot of options.

Now, don't torture yourself, Viv. Those... That part of your life is done with. Forget it.

Pete...

What a trip, right, Charlie?

The stock market went sour.

He couldn't pull back. No, not Pete. He had to dip into his client's account.

Because of me, he said.

He promised me nothing but the best and he wouldn't settle for less.

Too bad his head wasn't as big as his heart.

You know something, he might have gotten away with it.

You remember how later that year the market snapped back?

He could have replaced his client's money,

but he never got the chance.

Somebody called his boss, and told him what he was doing.

Yeah, somebody in his office. Mmm-hmm.

Yeah. That's right, Charlie.

Isn't that what we figured?

Somebody from his office?

He didn't know that when he killed that client, you know,

you remember the guy who was threatening to go to the cops?

Oh! He never should've killed that guy, Vivian.

He shouldn't have done a lot of things. We all shouldn't have done a lot of things.

Pete did a lot of stupid things, Charlie.

But I loved him,

and he loved me and what he did, he did for me.

Eight years he was locked up.

One or two more years and he would have been out of there.

That prison killed him.

He had a heart attack. I mean...

You know the way he ate, he never exercised...

He was killed by the prison, Charlie. And the people who put him there.

That police lieutenant,