The Initiation of Sarah

No.

I don't want to do this anymore.

Please!

Please just let me go.

Let me go.

No! No!

Please. Just let me go.

Please just let me go. I won't tell anybody. Please!

The fire is life. The fire is strength.

The blood of The One feeds the eternal flame.

No! No!

She's not The One.

She has to be The One.

You said you could feel the power.

And the signs, the signs can't be wrong.

The signs weren't wrong.

Why are you doing this?

I thought we were sisters.

We are, but sometimes sisters do horrible things to each other.

You can't leave me here!

No!

Oh, I just can't wait

for you girls to see this place in the spring.

The azaleas are just glorious.

It's so green. Look at the trees.

Oh, boy. This brings back memories of when I went to Temple Hill.

Party girls.

Jocks.

Oh, he's cute.

Oh, brainiacs over here.

Dumb but rich.

Dumb but loose.

Dumb but rich and loose. Always popular.

Mom, you really shouldn't stereotype people like that.

Oh, I'm not stereotyping, honey.

I'm just saying water seeks its own level,

and somehow fat girls always swim up to Kappa Omega Delta.

God love 'em, but they're ugly.

Not really caring,

but don't you think something might have changed

in the 70 years since you went to school here?

Ignoring you.

Wow. Sometimes wishes really do come true.

And I'm getting mine, aren't I?

Look at that one.

Oh, yes. I thought I smelled something unpleasant.

"Pi Epsilon Delta."

PED.

What kind of girls do they make in there?

Not the kind you'll ever need to meet.

Let's just say their time has, thankfully, come and gone.

All the way down there again

Break everything you see,,,

There it is! Look!

Alpha Nu Gamma.

It's just like the pictures. It's beautiful.

I hope we get in.

Do you really think we'll get in?

I think you could have six heads and a tail and still get in.

Sounds exclusive.

Oh, must you, Sarah Jane?

Yes, actually, I must.

I have worked my ass off

to ensure a place in this house for you girls.

Two congresswomen, three governors,

and at least 12 CEOs of major Fortune 500 companies

have lived under that roof.

Believe me, you could do worse.

God knows you have.

Take a breath so you can breathe,

Hey, helpless,,,

Oh, he's cute.

Yeah, he's all right.

Well, well, Sarah,

maybe we'll find someone that meets your specifications.

Yeah.

Take a breath so you can breathe

Hey, helpless, you are just like me

...as a student, Sarah, you'd be perfect.

Well, I'll tell you one thing,

absolutely nothing's changed since I went to school here.

For the good.

And bad.

Now, you girls don't get too crazy here.

I mean, if all goes well, and I'm sure that it will,

you'll be out of this dump and living at Alpha Nu by Friday.

And if it doesn't go well?

Hey, you're paying your own tuition.

Now, I know you girls are gonna have a wonderful time.

Those four years in the sorority were the best four years of my life.

There's a ringing endorsement of motherhood.

You know, it's hard to believe, but I am actually gonna miss you.

Dead plant.

Oh.

Sarah, now, try to behave.

Now, if you want to get initiated, these girls have to like you.

- Do we understand each other? - Yeah. We understand each other.

Lindsey. Oh.

Oh, gosh, you're so beautiful. I hate to leave you.

Now, you take care of your sister.

Ladies, you have a wonderful time.

Not too wonderful.

Toodles!

- What's wrong? - Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Can you believe it?

We are finally, finally, finally here.

I've been waiting for this day my entire life.

Nobody knows us here. We can reinvent ourselves.

High school's over.

We can be happy. We can be popular. We can have friends.

I have friends.

Friend. We're friends.

No. We're sisters. Totally different.

Please. Do you really want to spend

another four years as the freaky Goodwin girls?

This is our chance. We can go on dates

and join a sorority, the best sorority.

We're gonna be popular.

Please don't screw this up for me.

Why do you think...

Okay. I won't screw it up for you.

I promise, no weirdness, just a new beginning for both of us.

Thank you.

It goes without saying

We've been this way for a while

It's really cute.

You've got to be kidding me.

I know. Neat, huh? We all get to be together.

Yeah. All we're missing is Linda Blair and a broomstick.

My cousin said if you have even, like,

one little blemish, or if your nail polish is chipped,

they'll blackball you before the first vote.

They're talking about rush.

I know. I'm actually fairly fluent in stuck-up bitch.

Hi. I'm Vita.

Sarah.

Hey, what time are you guys walking over?

Maybe we could all go together.

You're rushing?

I'm sorry if that came out a little harsh.

It's just I'm pretty sure we're not rushing any of the same sororities.

Yeah. You know the expression, "One of these things is not like the other."

Uh-huh.

I'm an Alpha Nu legacy,

and my mom is president of the alumni committee.

No way.

Well, we're rushing there, too,

so if you guys want to walk over together...

Apologize to my friend.

You're friends?

- Yeah. Via... - Vita.

Whatever. Apologize.

Look, Vita, I hope that you...

I mean, we were just totally kidding around, right?

I'm sorry.

- And give her your shampoo. - What?

You heard me.

Thanks.

Apology accepted.

You're horrible.

Ridding the world of willowy blondes is kind of my thing.

You're, like, officially my new favorite superhero.

And even though Brad and I were voted cutest couple,

and everybody thought we'd get married,

I had to break up with him

because, A, I wasn't really in love, in love with him,

and, B, I knew the long distance thing would never work out.

How's that sound?

Delusional.

You don't even know anyone named Brad.

But I could have if...

If you didn't have me for a sister?

I didn't say that. You know that isn't what I meant.

I just figure if I'm starting a new life,

I might as well do something about the old one.

Well, it'll definitely play better than expelled, beat up, and spit on.

So does he still want you back?

Totally. That's the best part about imaginary boyfriends.

They're very loyal.

Uh, Linds,

you have gigantic breasts growing out of your breasts.

Well, this dress doesn't look good without a little padding.

- A little? - I need to look good tonight.

Why? Are we rushing a lesbian house?

- You can't go out like that. - Why not?

Because, A, I'll be forced to mock you, and, B...

Those are my socks, aren't they?

Sarah!

Hi.

That's so weird.

I was just coming by to borrow a pair of socks.

I hate you.

I'm... I'm Finn. Almost forgot there.

RA for all of the second floor,

elevator to snack machine and all points in between.

Needless to say, my parents are very proud.

I'm Sarah,

and this is my never-speaking-to-me-again sister, Lindsey.

Twin sister, right?

Not that it matters or anything,