Faking It

Previously on Faking It...

Why don't you tell her how you feel?

- It's pretty clear she loves you. - As a friend.

She felt something when you kissed,

and now she's pushing you away.

I think we should still break up.

Tell me about the pills you take all the time

that you don't want anyone to see.

What about Amy?

We're faking getting back together

until all of this blows over.

Nobody else knows, just you.

It's harder than it looks.

Here, let me show you.

First, you get a little wet.

Mm-hmm and then what?

And then you get a little dirty.

- Okay, total buzz kill. - Ew, ew, ew, ew.

Seriously, so much for my ghost fantasy.

Here.

What?

Nothing.

I'm happy.

You make me happy.

You make me happy too.

When can we be happy outside?

I mean, we've been sneaking in here at night for a week.

These paint fumes are starting to get to me.

Just a little while longer.

And lucky for you,

I have so many more fantasies.

The Nicholas Sparks books alone could take a month.

How long, exactly?

Just until Amy and I can quietly tell everyone

we've broken up.

And then a respectful mourning period of course.

Six months, tops.

Six months? That's forever.

I know, I'm sorry.

But if people at school think I left Amy for you,

they'll hate us more than oil companies.

And Amy is okay with this?

100%.

I just, I really don't like lying.

Me either... hate it.

It's a good thing you're so damn sexy.

I better go before my parents' Ambien wears off.

I'll meet you back here tomorrow?

I can't.

It's Amy's mom's wedding, remember?

Oh, I forgot.

Well, let's hope I can survive the withdrawal.

"And in conclusion, please raise your glasses

"to Farrah and Bruce.

May each of your tomorrows be better than your yesterdays."

Do you want my super-supportive opinion

or my tough-love opinion?

That bad?

I hate this .

Will you do it for me?

You know I love a microphone and a captive audience,

but you got this.

Just speak from your heart.

What if my heart says something really stupid

that it can never take back?

That's not possible.

Honey, I need you to...

Amy, we talked about this.

Nana is downstairs.

Thank God she didn't barge in five minutes ago,

when we were 69-ing.

It is my wedding day.

Could we not do this?

Now, will y'all go,

and keep her sober through the ceremony?

I do not want a repeat of my Cousin Walter's funeral.

I'll be right there.

How do I look?

Beautiful.

I think this dress is the best one yet.

Mm.

Me too.

I really hope I'm better at relationships than my mother.

Think of it this way: You couldn't be worse.

Who was that?

My mom. She wants me to give you a hug.

Mm.

I'm so glad we're back to good.

Just the two of us.

Yeah, me too.

I have a stalker.

Let me guess: his name is Pablo.

Ever since I rejected him, he's posting all these photos

to try and seduce me back.

Super sadsies, look.

He's training for the AIDS ride.

In tight yellow bike gear.

Only my favorite color.

Look at the puppy he just rescued:

a bichon-poodle mix.

AKA my dream dog.

- Shane, you're deluded. - Need more proof?

Bam.

He's escorting Lauren to her dad's wedding?

And he tied his own bow tie.

I've been tying my own bow tie since I was eight, okay.

It's my thing.

I thought your thing was saying...

It's my thing.

I feel so terrible for this guy pining away,

hoping I'll see these and come running.

Maybe you should.

Come running.

- Yeah, right. - No, no, I'm serious.

Let's crash that wedding

so you can tell this poor guy to move on.

- Well, that's not exactly... - I'll drive.

Do you think my mother suspects Amy's a lesbian?

If she finds out, I will never hear the end of it.

Honey, your mother couldn't pick out a lesbian

at a Melissa Etheridge concert.

And do we have to talk about this right now?

- No. - Look out.

So, Nana, what did you think of the ceremony?

Little too much Jesus for my taste.

I liked her first wedding the best,

but this definitely beat that second one.

Good old "Lazy Eye."

Can I get my flask back?

I won't get through this unless I'm drunk.

Thank you, Carmen.

Now, be a good girl, and go get me a ginger ale chaser.

Yeah, Carmen.

Sure.

Well, she's darling.

Now, why doesn't she have a boyfriend?

Has she got an extra toe or something?

- It's complicated. - Oh.

Mm.

Excuse me, could I get a ginger a...

Liam, what are you doing here?

I just needed a little fix.

You're not supposed to be here.

Yeah, that's what makes it hot.

What a perfect night.

I don't know if I've ever been this happy.

I almost believe you.

Whatever do you mean?

Tommy dumped you,

and now you can't stop smiling and talking like a duchess.

First, my smile is genuine.

Second, my diction is appropriate for the occasion.

And third, I'm the one who dumped that piece of .

Yes, let it out.

Clearly you're mad at him.

At Tommy? No, he's an idiot.

This is all Shane Harvey's fault.

Why, what did he do?

I don't want to tarnish this lovely evening

talking about such un-pleasantries.

Suffice it to say, he's not a good person.

- Whoo-hoo! - Yeah.

This is our song!

Okay, I've never really had a song before,

but, yeah, this one will do.

No, no, no, no, not ours as in "Ours."

Ours as in "Mine and Amy's."

I gotta go.

I'll text you after.

Wait, but...

Ow.

Amy, dear.

Could I speak to you outside?

There you go.

I knew it.

You...

I got you.

I can't believe she grounded me for two weeks.

We were just dancing.

What is this, the sequel to Footloose?

Footlooser?

I would watch that.

Maybe instead of this stupid toast,

I'll just tell everyone how she got me

a padded training bra for my tenth birthday.

- Amy. - What?

Don't cross over to the dark side.

Humiliating your mom at her wedding

isn't going to make you feel any better.

It's just gonna push you two further apart,

and I know, deep down, that's not what you want.

How do you do that?

What?

Know me better than I know myself.

Years of practice.