Megaforce

Despite official denials by leaders of the free world...

...sources now confirm the existence of MegaForce...

...a phantom army of super elite fighting men...

...whose weapons are the most powerful science can devise.

Their mission, to preserve freedom and justice...

...battling the forces of tyranny and evil in every corner of the globe.

We have removed you from the facility...

...where your labors, they're being exploited...

...to help you...

...in your valiant never-ending struggle...

...against the villains of tyranny, period.

The Bourgeois Counterrevolutionary Committee...

...of that fraternal Camibian People's Reactionary Party pledges...

- Oh, God... - ...its total support...

...to your glorious struggle, semicolon.

Furthermore, comma...

...we wish to assure you that our presence...

...in your beautiful and beloved country...

...is not meant as an act of aggression...

...against the people, comma...

...but rather is in a valid gesture to the global powers...

...who try to grab the land and the wealth...

...from the innocent working masses, period.

Fire.

Wait for me, I'll try to finish my speech...

...because if I don't talk, nobody understands. I gotta talk!

I am attacking the nearest forces. Sector 4.

Fire!

I understand. Move right ahead.

Have hostile armor...

...border in retreat.

Can intercept and destroy. Request permission to interdict.

Permission granted.

It's the 4th time Guerera and his bandits have crossed the border this month!

They've destroyed everything in sight. Even the President himself wouldn't...

- ...pass up this opportunity. - General, you cannot cross the border.

Sorry, chaps, maybe next time, return to base.

Where the hell is this?

No welcoming committee?

Now, careful with that.

Would you mind telling me where we are?

- Where are we? - Where they told me to bring you.

Ask a silly question you get a silly answer, don't you?

This is absolutely preposterous!

What about that bone-shaking three-hour ride...

...across those impossible roads?

And that chauffeur.

Yes. What about him? I wonder what side he's on.

Oh...

Oh, my God, it's hot.

Did you notice that in the last 2 and a half hours of that interminable journey...

...we didn't pass a petrol pump? Slipshod, that's what it is.

Cremation was certainly not in my agenda for today.

They didn't even have the decency to send a helicopter.

Or a cool vodka and tonic.

General, isn't it too hot to work yourself up?

You know, even in the worst days of the Yemen desert campaign...

...we received more civilized treatment and we were prisoners at that time.

General, please sit down.

Yes, you're probably right.

Yes, I've said enough.

Howdy, folks.

I think I need that vodka and tonic.

Howdy. Sneaky little devils, ain't they?

They don't always play by the rules. They're supposed to rattle.

How was y'alls trip?

Would you kindly explain the meaning of all this?

Why, sure. I'm from MegaForce. My name's Dallas.

Dallas? What's your rank?

Rank? Why ain't nobody got a rank in MegaForce...

...except the Commander, but we all call him Hunter.

Hunter?

Well, Mr. Dallas, I'm a General and protocol demands...

...that I be greeted by my opposite number in rank and authority.

Oh, shoot, General.

Now you know there's a big difference between rank and authority.

And you are Major Zara Bindu, only daughter to the President.

And the kind of officer that makes bivouacking in the woods seem...

...downright desirable.

This way, Ma'am. I'll get your things.

Just follow me.

Bloody barbarian.

Couldn't you possibly have arranged to have us met in more...

- ...comfortable circumstances? - Why, sure.

Hey, Zac?

Give me a 4 x 7 in place of that rock.

Oh, Kari, darlin'. You're looking prettier everyday.

I just love these holograms. They're the cat's meow.

Bee-dee-bee-dee-bee-dee! That's all folks.

Right this way, Major Ma'am.

We can make anything we want with these holograms...

...from a boulder to a beach.

Get right on in there. Make yourself at home.

General, after you, sir.

All right, Beethoven. Introduce yourself.

Welcome, General, Major.

I'm Zachary Taylor. Very pleased to meet you.

- Gladys Knight and the Pips? - Vivaldi.

- Winter? - Spring.

All right, Einstein.

Fire this thing up. See if you can find the base.

Hunter, Dallas...

...Zachary Taylor. Wasn't he one of their president's?

- Hm? - Never mind.

Sparrow 1's inbound traversing sector Zulu...

...to Romeo post coordinates in Vector 6.

Egg, we're showing a hostile track in Sector Charlie 11. Condition, red.

If you're stopping to thrill us with another of your holographic displays...

...it's quite unnecessary. Kindly go on.

Oh no, General. When you hear that you'd better stop.

Means big brother's watching.

That's hostile all right. But only to another armadillo.

Judging by his speed, I'd say...

...he's had a pretty hard night.

I envy him.

Should I wade no more, Returning where as tedious as go o'er.

- Shakespeare. - Macbeth, Act 3 Scene 4.

- Yes, of course. - Oh, Lord.

Is there something else out there I'm supposed to see?

No, here, General. Just listen.

Eagle base, this is Red 3 now commencing rock target range.

Roger, Red 3.

That's the boss.

- Y'all wanna meet that man? - Love to.

Commander Hunter, I presume.

Oh, call me Hunter.

I'm General Byrne-White Republic of Sandoon.

It's a pleasure sir.

Target sighted and closing.

- Major Vanvuda, I presume. - Call me Zara.

Commander, we have travelled half way around the world...

...to learn how our forces will interface with yours...

...to help destroy Guerera.

I hope your plan reflects greater precision than we have seen so far.

Well, there are reasons for everything that we do, Major.

Zara, right?

And do they include leaving your guests to bake in the middle of the desert...

...greeted by a cowboy, and be attacked by wild creatures?

If it's a comfortable tour you're looking for, I have connections at Disneyland.

Target destroyed.

My, my, my. You do have quite a way with words.

Is that the general consensus?

Battles are won or lost on quick decisions... Major.

Right this way, folks, if you would.

And that's the way it is.

Major...

Dallas?

What you need?

- What wild creatures? - Oh, just old no shoulder.

No sho... Oh, snake.

- Hologram? - No, real.

That long.

- That big around? - Dang near.

That's a big one.

Now, General, I don't want you to think...

...we set this whole thing up just to show off with y'all.

Everyone of us gets to go through the same target practice...

...at least once a month.

Oh, man. It'll blow your socks off! I just love it.

What did you think about it?

You know, it was an absolutely dazzling performance...

...on the part of Commander Hunter.

And those motorcycles. Unique, I must say.

Delta Mark Four. Egg's pride and joy.

He's been clucking over those things like a mother hen...

...ever since he hatched them on his slide rule.

- Egg? - The Egg.

He's in charge of research and development.

The man's got more degrees than a red-hot thermometer.

Weird, but damn is he smart.

Call research and development immediately.

Unit 6 call your weigh station.

General.

Maybe the journey was worthwhile after all.

My God.

It's fantastic.

Well, here comes the Egg and that's no yolk.

Dallas, when a person doesn't have less on, they have...

- More on? - Exactly.

Major Vanvuda, General Byrne-White, Professor Eggs.

- How do you do? - We have heard a lot about you.

You're the gentlemen with more degrees than a thermometer.

We're most impressed by your Delta Mark 4 motorbike.

Thank you. Anytime you wanna browse around just come on down.

I'm on level 4.

Wait a minute. This is level 4.

I just come down here.

Well, how is it coming along?

- It? - It.

Oh, it. Oh, it's finished. And I think it's gonna work.

Just remember it's the red buttons. One and then two.

Oh, you're a genius. When can I try it?

Well, I'm testing it right now in the wind tunnel.

But at best, you know, it's only good for an emergency.

Okay, it's wonderful to meet everybody.

One, two, huh?

Major, General, it's been a pleasure. I'll see you later.

May I show you around?

- It puts the pyramids to shame. - It had better.

It cost a whole lot more.