Slam Dance

Great tune.

That was a request from my mom back in England.

And this is Richard Blaine on KSLM.

Let's go to the phones again here on the Blaine Line.

Give us a call with your personal problems,

predictions, and political beefs.

Hello, you're on the air.

Uh, we'll get back to you.

Now, let's go to our next caller here at KSLM.

Hello, you're on the air.

It's Cletus, man. I'm in trouble again.

Oh, no, not you Cletus. What's wrong now?

Man, I'm in the county jail.

So, what happened, Cletus?

There was this chick, all right.

She was unbelievable. She was on the corner at Sunset.

So, what is it you need, Cletus?

Give me some advice, Blaine.

I need someone to get me out of here, man.

Cletus, you're a lucky man.

Because I got this friend who plays a mean guitar and he's studying law

and right now he's in county jail.

So, look for Pete, Cell 47. He can get anyone out.

Wait, what's his name?

I'm sorry, Cletus, we're out of time.

This is my only call, man.

Next caller, please. Hello, you're on the air.

Hello?

Hold it, hold it, this isn't me.

Did I fool you? This is an answering machine.

Pretty nifty, huh?

So, if you'll wait for the tone

I'll be happy to pass it along to Drood

whenever he comes home or wakes up or whatever he does.

Are you ready?

Drood, pick up the phone.

I know you're there.

Pick up the phone, Drood.

Shit!

Helen.

Look, how many times do I ask you to do me a favor?

I'm out the door.

No, no, forget it, forget it.

I took her to school already.

Jeez, listen, I was up all night.

I don't even want to hear about this.

This is exactly the kind of thing I talked to you about.

I know.

And I was late.

I don't know what to say. I gotta go.

Helen, I...

Hello.

Drood, this is Wilson.

Where is Drood's World?

Hold it, this isn't me.

It's my answering machine.

Shit!

Did I fool you?

Drood is unable to come to the phone right now,

but if you'd like to leave a nice little message,

just wait for the tone.

It's deadline time. Pick up the phone.

I've got better things to do

than chase after you all the time.

Drood...

Drood, if it isn't in my hands by 4:00, you're fired.

Asshole.

Hi.

You sold it?

I can't believe it. You sold it?

You're very hot in certain circles right now, young man.

Thanks to me.

Jimbo, this is $500.

Whoa! Stop!

Whoo! This is a silk shirt.

And a great tie. Who?

Look, the guy... Who?

The guy was real tasteful, okay?

He had dark glasses and a white stick.

What do you care, I sold it, didn't I?

Hey, Bean!

Hi, Daddy. Hi, baby.

Listen, I'm sorry about this morning.

Are you taking me to your house?

No, honey, I just stopped by to say hello.

Listen, what were you doing over there?

Beating up a boy. Feel my muscle.

Let's see. That is excellent.

Hello. May I help you?

I was just saying hello to the kid.

I'm her father.

My name is Charles Drood. We haven't met.

I'm Margaret Bell, Elizabeth's teacher.

Who? Oh, oh, Elizabeth, right. We call her Bean.

Drood, show her your teeth.

You must be new here.

Do the teeth thing, Daddy, please.

Aw, honey, I don't think Miss Bell really wants to be bothered.

Missus. Huh?

Mrs. Bell.

And, actually, I'd like to see this teeth thing.

I lost them in a fight.

Your back teeth?

Daddy likes to tell stories.

Mommy says he tells stories all the time.

Blaine Line, let's go to our next call.

Hello, you're on the air.

You've got to help me.

I'm calling from a pit where my house used to be.

Um, excuse me. What's your name, sir?

My name's Ethan and you got to help me.

This UFO thing, look like a big Buick hubcap,

come down, sucked up my furniture with,

I don't know, some sort of hose or something.

Sucked up everything.

I went to get the bowling trophies,

you know, it's important for me to get the bowling trophies,

and you're not going to believe it,

I come back and my family was gone.

What?

Bad move, Ethan. Sucked up the hose.

Hi, Drood!

Oh, my God!

Drood!

That didn't hurt.

Arrest that kid.

Would you grow up. Children, please.

How do you do it?

Do what?

Well, you walk in and everything falls apart.

Helen, I got hit in the nuts with a fucking rubber chicken.

Right, laugh.

I'm sorry.

I gotta sit down.

Oh, come on.

What are you doing here, Drood?

I just...

Helen, what do you think about you and I getting back together?

Yeah, I need... I need a hand, yeah.

So, which hand would you like, sir.

Listen, now, don't fool around.

I'm trying to make a chicken.

So, you're... You're into chickens?

No, no.

Oh, you're cooking, I'm sorry.

Is this chicken fully dressed?

I don't know, if feathers count as a...

God!

Mr. Drood?

My card.

Come here.

Come here. Come here.

Come here.

It's okay.

Where is it, Mr. Drood?

Where's what?

You got to tell us, okay?

Okay?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Aw!

Where is it?

You got the wrong guy here.

She gave you something.

Who?

- Who? - Who?

Fuck this.

Let me get back there.

It'll be just a few minutes, Mr. Drood.

Thank you.

Anybody tell you to move?

I'm not...

Sit over here.

Look, I think...

Listen, I'm not supposed to be...

No one is.

Look, I just...

You're making a big mistake.

I'm going to kill every fucking guy in here.

You fuck my wife?

What's her name?

Oh, no. Oh, please, no, don't.

Hold it. Wait a second.

Hey, hey. Hey!

Which one of you guys is Charles Drood?

I am.

So, you never saw either one of these men before, huh?

Nope.

And if you saw them again do you think you could identify them?

Yeah, maybe.

Listen, I don't know.

They didn't take anything, right?

Nope, nothing.