YOLO Crystal Fantasy (YOLO)

Haha, listen to this,

some stupid dumb cunt fuckhead 11-year-old girl

is asking Dolly Doctor why her boyfriend broke up with her.

She is obviously fucking ugly.

Hope she dies, hahahahaha.

Oh, poor girl, that sounds sad.

Wait.

Why are you reading Dolly Magazine?

That issue is from 2002.

Lately, I've been yearning for a more peaceful time.

Hello!

Urgh, it's that stupid Peleeken character.

I hate you!

Actually, I'm not the Peleeken you know and love.

I am Emerald Peleeken

and my sole purpose is to be a messenger

and invite you to Peelekens splirthday party

at Bubble Gum Park near Wollongong Beach.

Our cousins Sapphire

and Ruby Peleeken will be there, too.

They travelled all the way from Newcastle.

There will be many fun activities

like apple bobbing,

baking cookies and performing plays.

Oh, it will be so much fun!

I hope you can come!

Oh cool, yeah, we'll come.

Right, Rachel?

We're not doing anything else today.

Urgh, is it going to be like an actual party?

Like I said, there will be apple bobbing!

Yeah, alright.

Great! Here's a map to the event.

It starts in 26 minutes and 32 seconds.

Goodbye!

Oh, I really love seeing that thing die.

Where the fuck is this place?

I've lived in Wollongong for ages

and I've never heard of Bubble Gum Park.

According to the map,

it's supposed to be just around this corner here.

Sarah! Rachel!

Hi, Peleeken!

Sorry, I just realised we didn't get you a gift.

That's ok, splirthday parties are not

gift giving celebrations.

All you need to bring is your love and curiosity.

Let the fun begin!

I've rented Bubble Gum Park for five hours

so we can have lots of fun!

By the way,

this is Ruby and Sapphire Peleeken.

I have told them everything about you

and they love you.

Hi Sarah and Rachel, we love you!

Aww, hi little thing.

What's your name?

Awww, how adorable.

Alright, where's the apple bobbing?

Over here!

Let's play together, Rachel.

Oi Nazza,

try throwing the ball straight this time you fuckhead.

Nah, I'm like, full trying, hey.

- It's just a bit hard. - Shut the fuck up!

I can't even fucking understand ya.

Hahahaha, good one, boss.

Shut up, Gellivah!

Youch! Thank you, sir.

Come on! Throw another.

I'll get the ball for you, boss!

Huh?

Hey, boss!

Over here!

I think you want to see this.

What is it?

Hm, I didn't know this place existed.

Me neither.

Alright, group huddle, boys.

This is the perfect opportunity to take our shenanigans

to the next level.

Let's go in the park,

kick out everyone there

and turn it into our new headquarters.

- Yeah good idea. - Yeah, let's kill em.

That's a great plan, boss.

I'm the apple bobbing champion!

You're doing great, Rachel.

You're beating me in a very fair way.

Eh, eh.

There you go, precious.

Thank you! Are you an angel?

Aww, you're so cute!

No, of course not.

I'm a person, just like you.

Actually, my mummy says I'm not a person.

I'm different.

Well, it doesn't matter what you are,

what matters is that you have a heart right here.

- - Oh my god, sorry!

That's ok, I just don't have a skeleton.

Aww.

Hello everybody,

sorry to be loud and get your attention

like this but I just wanted to say that

it's time for the play!

How long has it been, Jemethia?

Since I have lodged at Monsieur Bartholomew's estate?

Long enough for us to really get to know each other,

and to understand the woes and distresses of our past.

You don't really know me.

Only few do.

Few understand

what it is like to have the last name “Orethilia ”,

and the responsibilities that brings.

For me as well, sire...

few know the responsibilities

of being the head house butler to the Orethilia name.

Perhaps we are more alike

than I thought.

Perhaps we are, master.

Jovious the third was just captured

by the Prussians.

- (gasps) No! - (gasps) Oh my god!

Ouch!

G'day everyone.

Guess what?

This is our park now.

But I've been coming to Bubble Gum Park

for 500 years,

for every splirthday party I've ever had!

You can't do this to us.

Go on, get!

- Get out of here! - Fuck out of here!

You no good rascals.

Bunch of fucking pansies.

I'm scared.

Urgh, I was in the middle of breaking

my apple bobbing record.

Bloody dickheads.

We may as well go home, they won.

Our precious Bubble Gum Park is lost.

There's nothing we can do.

That's nonsense.