Viralwild

Dolls have been around since the Egyptians.

They even found one in King Tut's tomb.

He wouldn't part with it, even in the afterlife.

But what is a doll, really?

Nothing more than mankind's attempt to finish

what the Almighty began.

Forgive me if that's a tad blasphemous.

What I'm trying to say is...

when the Lord formed dust into man,

he was seeking perfection.

Isn't that so?

That is what I was told in Sunday school.

Well, a doll does not sin.

It has no flesh to mortify.

No soul to lose.

It's God's ideal made manifest.

So, God would love us more if we were made out of plastic?

Not that you don't have a point, sir.

Don't do that. Don't retreat from your point.

I like people who think for themselves.

Well, that has never been a problem of mine,

to think for myself. Huh.

As your curriculum vitae attests,

high school valedictorian,

president of Natchez Debating Society.

Master of Arts from Ole Miss. Ha.

The truth is, I've never interviewed

a candidate more qualified.

Well, I just would like to add that my academic achievements

are nothing compared to my tenacity.

I know times are tough,

and I know you've no doubt seen lots of applicants,

but if you see fit to hire me

as your secretary,

I will dedicate myself to clerical excellence.

Well...

I'm afraid you're just not right for the position.

I'm not? I'm sorry,

Miss Dellum, but thank you for your interest.

My assistant will see you out.

You feeling better?

The headache should only trouble you for a couple of hours.

You're on my estate.

This is my private dollhouse.

Your dollhouse?

I designed it myself,

from the wallpaper to the, the rose cornices.

It's a tad eclectic, I grant you,

but I'm not disciplined enough

to confine myself to one era.

So, the base is

Victorian spiced with old Americana

and Edwardian.

What? What-what is this? Why am I here?

This is your home

for the next seven days, give or take.

My home?

Miss Dellum,

I was honest

when I told you how impressed

I am with your background.

You're far too special to spend

your days in front of a typewriter,

so I have entered you into the pageant.

Did you say...

...pageant? Please understand,

this is an extraordinary honor.

As of last week, entrance was closed.

Well, I do appreciate the honor,

but I don't want to be a part of your pageant.

Your participation

isn't open to debate.

Get out of my way.

Do you hear me?

Oh, he can hear you. He just can't respond.

He's missing most of his, um, his tongue.

There's only one way out of here, young lady.

It's not through any windows or doors.

What do you want from me?

Now, you'll find out soon enough.

In the meantime, I'll leave you to get settled.

Get settled? I'm not getting settled.

I'm getting out of here.

You can't just leave me here alone.

You're not alone.

Let me out!

Hey! Come back!

Let me out of here!

Well, this is all

we fucking need.

Aurelia, can't you see she's scared to death?

Can't you see that I don't give a shit?

Little Miss started in the middle of the contest.

She didn't have to do the first three tests.

Who are you people?

Can someone please tell me what's going on?

You've been kidnapped by a crazy-rich toymaker

who's sick in the head and obsessed with dolls,

so he made all of this.

He's looking for the perfect doll, see,

a mother for his kid, and he makes us do tasks

in his messed-up beauty pageant and the ones

who don't measure up get eliminated

in the worst way. You dig?

Someone please tell me this is a joke.

Let's find you a bed where you can lie down.

This is our room.

I'm here, that's Bonnie's.

Well, I don't want to rest. I want to get out of here.

Sweetie, I know what you're going through.

I was the same way at first. Came for an interview,

stopped to help someone on the side of the road.

Well, if everyone who interviewed disappeared,

then that means that the law...

the law has to get suspicious. The others were different.

Aurelia was a dancer.

Faye taught kindergarten.

When psycho man spots someone he thinks would make a good doll,

he makes a move and that's it.

I was taken right out of my house.

To this day I have no idea why I was picked.

You have to listen to me. There's no way out.

Believe me, we've been here for weeks and we've tried.

This place is built like a safe.

Van Wirt told the truth.

There's only one way off, and you don't want that.

You really should eat something before it starts.

I'm not hungry.

They only stock the fridge every couple of days.

I saw him yesterday. The little boy.

Otis.

He was looking out his window.

Where is his mom?

She died two years ago.

The official story is, she took her boat out into the swamp

to pick flowers, there was an accident, and she fell in.

But that's not what happened?

Rumor is, Mr. Van Wirt didn't exactly measure up.

So she got herself a little stallion.

What he did to them is almost too horrible for words.

They got this old stone wishing well.

Been dried up for years, since the Civil War.

And the only wishing anybody's doing there

is for heavenly deliverance.

It's a long drop.

Come on. They're coming.

Hurry.

You need to pick one and find a spot, fast.

Don't move unless asked, don't speak unless spoken to.

Well?

I thought we weren't getting any new ones.

I made an exception. Go make friends.

So, what's your name? Uh...

You have a name, don't you?

I can't just call you "clown doll."

My name is Coby.

Coby the Clown.

Otis, what do you say?

I think this is the happiest day of my life.

You know I don't like your sarcasm.

Delighted to meet you, Coby the Clown.

I'm Otis Van Wirt.

Very good.

Now, I'll be back after work.

Remember, treat your playthings with respect.

I always do.

Why do grown-ups think kids like clowns?

Everyone likes clowns.

I think everyone says they do

'cause they think they're supposed to,

but really no one does.

Think I'm gonna tell Eustace to throw you away.

Too bad for you. I can do a trick.

A magic trick. Do you want to see a trick?

I think everyone hates magicians

almost as much as they hate clowns.

How'd you do that?

Do it again.

This is my dollhouse, Coby the Clown.

My dad made it for me 'cause I'm his only son

and the heir to his fortune.

You want to see tomorrow, you do what I say.

Now do it again.

Coby?

What was that voodoo shit with the toy?

Oh, my uncle, he's into magic.

He showed me some tricks when I was a kid.

Well, that's nice.

Don't butter my ass and call me a biscuit.

I saw what happened.

That thing moved by its own self.

Honestly, Aurelia, what even are you saying?

I'm saying that she's a liar.

And if you think this is gonna put you in Fat City,

then you got another thing coming,

'cause I got tricks up my sleeve, too,

and I'm gonna win that little brat over.

And what if you do win?

What happens then?

Being the kid's mom? What does that mean?