Monty Python's Flying Circus

I, Erk...

And now...

Its...

Monty Python's Flying Circuses.

Michael Norman Randall, you have been found guilty

of the murder of Arthur Reginald Webster,

Charles Patrick Trumpington,

Marcel Agnes Bernstein,

Lewis Anona Rudd,

John Malcolm Kerr,

Nigel Sinclair Robinson,

Norman Arthur Potter,

Felicity Jayne Stone,

Jean-Paul Reynard,

Rachel Shirley Donaldson,

Stephen Jay Greenblatt,

Karl-Heinz Muller,

Belinda Anne Ventham,

Juan-Carlos Fernandez,

Thor Olaf Stensgaard,

Lord Kimberley of Pretoria,

Lady Kimberley of Pretoria,

The Right Honorable Nigel Warmsly Kimberley,

Robert Henry Noonan

and Felix James Bennett

on or about the morning of the 19th of December, 1972.

Have you anything to say before I pass sentence?

Yes, sir. I'm very sorry.

Very sorry?

Yes, sir. It was a very, very bad thing to have done,

and I'm really very ashamed of myself.

I can only say it won't happen again.

To have murdered so many people in such a short space of time

is really awful, and I really am very, very, very sorry that I did it.

And also, that I've taken up so much of the court's valuable time

listening to the sordid details

of these senseless killings of mine.

I'd particularly like to say a very personal

and sincere sorry to you, my lord,

for my appalling behavior throughout this trial.

I'd also like to say sorry too for the police

for putting them to so much trouble.

For the literally hours of work

they've had to put in collecting evidence

and identifying corpses and so forth.

You know, I think sometimes we ought to realize the difficult

and often dangerous work involved

in tracking down violent criminals like myself,

and I'd just like them to know that their fine work

is at least appreciated by me.

Oh, no, no, we were only doing our job.

No, no, really.

It's very good of you to say that, but I know what you've been through.

Oh, no, no, we've had worse.

It was plain sailing, apart from the arrest.

I know and I'm grateful.

I'd like to apologize too to the prosecuting counsel

for dragging him in here moming after morning

in such lovely weather.

Well, I would've had to come in anyway.

Oh, good.

But, uh, what a presentation of a case.

- Oh, thank you. - Oh, no.

It's a privilege to watch you in action. I never had a chance.

Oh, but yes, you did.

Oh, not after that summing up. Great.

And now I must come to the jury.

What can I say?

I've dragged you in here, day after day,

keeping you away from your homes,

your jobs, your loved ones,

Just to hear the private details of my petty atrocities.

You could've had a much nicer case.

Oh, no, no, no. Murder's much more fun.

Yes, and so many of them.

Excellent. We've had a terrific time.

I'm sorry, I'm very moved.

So, my lord, it only remains

for you to pass the most savage sentence on me

that the law can provide.

Uh, well, uh, not necessarily...

No, my lord, the full penalty of the law is hardly sufficient.

Iinsist I must be made an example of.

Well, yes and no. I mean, society at large...

Oh, no, my lord. Not with mass murder.

Oh, but in this case, don't you think?

Yes, yes!

Oh, come on, my lord, you've gotta give me life.

No, no, no.

Well, ten years at least. Come on.

Ten years?

Shame, shame.

- Well, five then. Be fair. No, no, no.

I'm giving you three months.

Oh, no, that's so embarrassing, I won't hear of it.

Give me six, please.

Well, all right. Six months.

- Thank you, my lord. - But suspended.

- Oh, no. Hooray!

Three cheers for the defendant. Hip. Hip.

Hooray!

I For he's a jolly good fellow §

It's no good, Spider, you can't escape that easily.

We're coming in after you.

Whoop!

This way, Davis.

Hmm, we'd best separate.

I'm going down there. You check the right ventricle.

Whoop!

Any sign of him, Davis?

There's nothing here.

Al right, we'll check the spleen.

Wait!

Oh, my God, he's doubled back on us.

Quick, we've got to catch him before he reaches the neck.

Oh, no, too late, Davis. He's got out.

Oh, he's eating!

Run for it!

Ooh! Ah! Oh! Ooh!

Oh, my God! Remember not to struggle.

Oh!

This little-known Icelandic saga,

written by an unknown hand in the late 13th century,

has remained undiscovered until today.

Now it comes to your screens for the first time.

Fresh from the leaves of Iceland's history.

The terrible Njorl's Saga.

It's not that terrible.

No, I meant terribly violent.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Erik Njorl, son of Frothgar, leaves his home

to seek Hangar the Elder at the house of Thorvald Nlodvisson.

The son of Gudleif, half-brother of Thorgier,

the priest of Ljosa Water, who took to wife Thurunn,

the mother of Thorkel Braggart,

the slayer of Gudmund the Powerful,

who knew Howal, son of Geemon, son of Erik from Valdalesc,

son of Arval Gristlebeard, son of Harken

who killed Bjortguaard in Sochnadale

in Norway over Cudreed,

daughter of Thorkel Long, the son of Kettle-Trout,

the half son of Harviyoun Half-troll,

father of Ingbare the Brave,

who, with Isenbert of Gottenberg,

the daughter of Hangbard the Fierce...

We apologize for an error in the saga.

Evidently, Thorgier, the priest of Ljosa Water,

who took to wife Thurunn, the mother of Thorkel Braggar,

the slayer of Gudmund the powerful,

who knew Howal, son of Geernon,

son of Erik from Vadalesc...

I'm afraid we're having trouble

getting this very exciting Icelandic saga started.

If any of you at home have any ideas

about how to get this exciting saga started again,

here's the address to write to.

Help the Exciting Icelandic Saga.

18-B MacNorton Buildings, Oban.

Hello. Um, well, I was the third voice you heard just now.

Uh, I'm sorry about that terrible mess.

It wasn't all that terrible.

No, no, I meant terrible in the sense of unfortunate.

- Oh. - Anyway, um, our plea for assistance has been answered

by the North Malden Icelandic Saga Society

who've given us some very useful information about the saga.

And so, uh, we carry on now with Njor!'s Saga

with our thanks going, uh, once again

to the North Malden Icelandic Saga Society.

Erik Njorl, son of Frothgar,

rode off into the desolate plain.

Day and night he rode,

looking neither to right nor left.

Stopping neither for food nor rest.

Twelve days and nights he rode.

Through rain and storm.

Through wind and snow, beyond the enchanted waterfall,

through the effin glades until he reached his goal.

He had found the rich and pleasant land

beyond the mountains.

The land where golden streams sang their way

through fresh green meadows.

Where there were halls and palaces,

an excellent swimming pool

and one of the most attractive bonus-incentive schemes

for industrial development in the city.

Only 15 miles from excellent Thames-side docking facilities,

and within easy reach of the proposed M25.

Here it was that Erik Njorl, son of Frothgar, met the mayor.

Mr. Arthur Huddinut, a local solicitor.

Uh, welcome to North Malden.

Yes, everyone is welcome to North Malden,

but none more so than the businessmen and investors

who shape our society of the future.

Here at North Malden-—-

We apologize to viewers of Njor!'s Saga

who may be confused by some of the references to North Malden.

And after a frank exchange of views,

we have agreed to carry on showing this version

supplied to us by the North Malden Icelandic Saga Society

on the undertaking that future scenes will adhere more closely