Melissa & Joey

Previously on "Melissa and Joey"...

Hey, Marco.

I'd like you to meet my boyfriend, Zander.

If this is about me and Lennox, trust me...

Nothing happened.

Joe would be so embarrassed if he knew you told me all of his secrets.

You'll never guess that Joe has a 13-year-old daughter,

he knows nothing about.

A secret daughter?

I feel good now. All right, ahem.

I'm ready to do my vows now.

"Melissa and Joey" is recorded in front of a live studio audience.

"Joe, as we start our journey together..."

I... I have a daughter?

What... what the hell are you talking about?

Honey, I didn't interrupt you when you did your vows.

You just told me I have a daughter!

With... with who? Where is she?

None of this daughter stuff's important.

Or even true.

Go on, Mel.

Everyone wants to hear your vows.

Hey, Mel.

I need some answers.

Joe, now?

Joseph, my advice...

If you're gonna put your life on hold

every time there's a report of an illegitimate child,

you're never gonna accomplish anything.

Thanks, daddy.

Happy to help, pumpkin.

Ahem.

Will you excuse me? I... I just need a minute.

Oh, uh... We'll be back in a jiffy.

Um, this will be the perfect time

to admire the work of our florist.

Isn't Germaine fabulous?

This information about your daughter

was told to me in confidence.

I get it. You gave your word. You don't wanna break it.

Who told you?!

Confidence means I can't tell you.

And please keep your voice down.

Ow!

What? I didn't tell him anything.

- Theresa, come here. - Look...

All right, spill it.

I can't. I just can't.

Okay, fine. That's the way you wanna play it,

then I might just have to tell Mom a little story

about her beloved cat who she thought ran away,

but actually ended up in the tire treads of your minivan.

You know what? No one needs to know about Mr. Whiskers.

Yeah, and nobody will if you cooperate.

Capisce?

Okay.

Remember that new year's after you graduated

when you came home to visit

and you reconnected with you-know-who

from down the street?

- Felicia? - Felicia.

- Felicia. - So good, it's hot Felicia.

Now we know. Okay, let's go get married.

Don't anybody go far!

Marco, go stand by the exit.

Nobody gets out.

I don't care what's going on in there,

this wedding is happening today!

You seriously believe that?

Absolutely.

Well, I wouldn't put money on it.

Hey, Len, since we have some downtime here,

I was wondering if maybe you could caption

some of these photos I found on Marco's phone.

- Where did you get this? - Oh, he asked me to hold it for him.

I'm guessing to make sure I see the highlights

from your trip to Jersey.

Ooh!

Yeah, that one was my favorite too.

How could you not tell me that I have a daughter?!

You never asked?

Are you almost done?

Because there's a bunch of people

out there waiting for a wedding.

Mom, how can you be so calm?

You just found out you have a brand-new granddaughter.

Sweetheart, one crisis at a time.

Let's get you married, and make this child legitimate.

That's not how it works!

Why didn't Felicia tell me?

I don't know. You'll have to ask her.

Oh, but you can't. She never wants to talk to you again.

Oh, Felicia Mancini?

She was hot stuff.

- Excuse me? - Oh, honey...

After a baby, she's probably like this.

So where is Felicia now?

She moved to Fort Wayne to raise the girl.

The daughter's name is Dani.

Dani?

My daughter's name is Dani.

- Yeah. - 13 years...

I missed out on everything.

You know what?

I bet that I can find her.

Hold on a sec. Hey, darling... Good news.

One of the girls from Qantas says I can stay at her place tonight,

so you don't have to worry about getting me a hotel room.

Wow.

You always think of others, don't you, Daddy?

Yes, I do!

Hash it out, lovebirds.

Joe, look...

I know this is a lot to take in,

but I have been on a juice fast for a week now,

so if we don't get married in the next half-hour,

I'm gonna pass out.

And I passed the cake on my way in...

And it talked to me.

Mel, I'm sorry, but I just found out that I have a daughter...

Oh, my God! Here's the link. Wait a minute.

"Danny Mancini, proud dock worker,

died age 84." That might not be her.

Hey, are you guys okay?

Everybody's wondering what's going on.

You just walked away from me, Lennox.

Because something significant is going on in here.

Well, I think something pretty significant is happening here too,

'cause you were making out with Marco.

Uh, while you and I were on a pause!

On a pause from the truth apparently.

Could you guys take this maybe, oh, I don't know, anyplace else?!

Knock-knock.

Just so you know...

Uncle Eddie got into the champagne

and let the doves loose.

- My doves! - Don't worry.

I'm luring them back into the cages with crab cakes.

My crab cakes!

He's such a good boy.

Yeah, I don't know what we'd do without him.

Would you put your phone down,

and please marry this girl?!

Give him some time. Let him process this.

You have two minutes.

Okay, Zander, it was one...

Maybe two or three kisses.

What is the big deal?

The big deal is you told me nothing happened.

I can't be with someone I can't trust.

You're living with those girl roommates...

Dancer Jordan and "I'm allergic to bras" Chris.

How do I know I can trust you?

You know what? You don't have to worry about trusting me anymore.

We're done.

Well, that's just perfect.

No Twitter, no Facebook...

I thought kids today are supposed to be all over the Internet.

Yeah, it's like she doesn't wanna be found by a strange man.

Hey, guys. Um, is this a bad time?

Yes!

Okay, I'm gonna make it quick then.

Uh, my plans for next year,

they do not include college.

- Okay, see ya. - What?! Wait.

When did you decide this?

Um, a while back. And, hey, listen,

since this wedding's kind of like 50-50 at this point,

is it okay if I have some of the cake?

Don't you dare.

Nobody will notice. I'll take it from the back.

Okay, can't you see this is not a good time?

I only had one lunch today!

All right, decision time.

What are we doing?

Let's get married.

- Are you sure? - Yeah, yeah.

I'll, uh... I'll put my game face on

and just get through it.

No, Joe.

We can't start the rest of our lives like that.

You need to get your head together.

Why don't you call Felicia and get the whole story?

I have her phone number. But you didn't get it from me.

I lost my phone and you found it.

Oh, honey. You don't need an alibi.

Her father's in the river. He can't hurt us anymore.

What about the wedding?

We can get married tomorrow.

Sure. Everybody stays put,

we put the shrimp on ice. No reason this can't happen.

Won't this place already be booked?

Not on a Monday.

What idiot gets married on a Monday?

My two favorite ones.

Felicia, uh, hi. It's Joe again.

Um, I really need you to call me back, okay?

Look, my number is, um...

Well, it's the same as it was on the other 12 messages that I've left you.

So... Call me back, please.