El Cinco (El 5 de Talleres)

MATCH DAY 9

You suck!

That was a fair tackle!

A straight red card?

You suck, Ref! What the hell are you doing?

You're screwing us over, Ref!

- You know the drill. Get out! - Have you gone blind?

- C'mon, I told you to get out. - You screwed us over!

- And you did nothing but fouling. - Great job out there! Bravo!

Patón!

The armband! Gimme the armband!

Come on, hurry!

- Hi, guys. - Hi.

- I'm here to apologize. - No, boss, you can't go in.

- It'll be a second... - Not now.

Relax. We said "No."

- He's with the doctor. - What's the big deal?

I'll tell him you came.

- You were too rough on him. - So? Football's like that.

OK, tough guy, now go.

What happens in the field, stays in the field.

- I wanna apol... - Go, it's OK.

C'mon, get outta here.

- Now it's not the time. - I just wanted to say sorry.

Do it over the phone.

- What's up? - Hi.

Do you want to have lunch with your Mum and me tomorrow?

I'll let you know.

You rock, Patón!

Is that a "No"?

Get off my back, Dad.

It's Mono's birthday tonight. It might go til late.

No need to be rude, see?

I just wanna be left alone.

Stop giving away points to our rivals!

What did you say?

Say it to my face, you fat jerk!

Less talking and more playing, Patón!

Bring your fat ass over here!

- Enough! - He started it!

Never mind that fat loser. Let's go.

In through the other side.

- Wanna ride shotgun? - The other side!

That door doesn't work.

So, Berazategui's substitute keeper.

He's Macedo's son. Remember Macedo?

He put tar paper on our roof.

Iono took over as 5?

Yeah.

Was he any good?

Sort of. But he couldn't stop the blond guy, either.

I love his new haircut.

- He seems human now. - He does.

I'm having mine cut, too.

What? You have no hair left to cut!

- I'll shave my head. - Don't, baby, you look great.

Your head is too pointy, it wouldn't suit you.

- S top the car! - Why? What happened?

Sergio, wait!

- Sergio! - Patón!

- Sergio! - Come back here!

- I can't believe this guy! - He's such a moron. Sergio!

RELEASE SLIP

- Later, man. Take care. - Later.

- Sign here, please. - Yes.

All right. Until next time.

- I was worried sick, I mean it. - You sound like my girlfriend.

But they call me, not her.

Relax. It isn't such a bad thing to have a convicted felon in the team.

You're a worse moron than he is.

Take it easy, man.

Think of what this does to your Dad.

You're a bunch of morons.

All set? Let's go, then.

Babe!

- OK. - Incoming!

Be careful!

The mustard we had at your uncle's.

- What's it called? - "Dijon."

- It's 65 pesos. - Wow! Expensive stuff.

No, no way. There is a bunch of other stuff we need to buy.

Let's get it instead of the soda.

We both drink soda, that's just for you. Let's focus on stuff we both use.

Didn't you notice I've stopped using Clinique soap?

Don't get all cop on me!

I don't. Watch that tone.

- Can't I give myself a treat? - Whatever.

- The light switch is there! - No! It's behind you.

- I was here before! - It's back there, Patón!

Patón, the light switch is over there.

- What are you doing? It's over there! - All right, all right.

- It's so damn hidden! - The switch is always by the door.

No way we'll finish this in 30 minutes.

What a drag, man!

Why did we eat before coming? We should've eaten afterwards.

Cut the crap.

Take your time, man.

Go, go, go! We're about to rotate, go!

Go, Polaco. Keep it up!

Good job! Your turn, Patón. You go now, go!

That's it! Good job!

OK, gotta hang up now. Talk to you later.

Patón!

Patón!

Those bastards gave me an 8-match ban?

Damn Football Association!

You were sent off only a month ago.

And that incident at the changing room didn't help.

- We may get the ban shortened... - By 3 or 4 matches?

- More like three... - Or two...

Back for the last match of the season?

- With an 8-match ban, for the last 3. - Definitely for the 17th match.

Will you have paid us what you owe us by then?

- We'll discuss that later. - There's nothing to discuss...

- Can I have a minute? - Sure...

Here, you have a minute.

- We'll pay you February in full today. - And last month?

- Can I talk? - Go ahead.

We'll have March settled in two weeks.

And a little extra this week.

Great. Now tell me, if I want to make some stew...

do I chop off my penis and add it to the vegetables?

You're overreacting, Patón...

You go tell this to the rest of the guys.

I'll do it myself.

- You'll do it? - Yes.

They gave me an 8-match ban... Those bastards!

Don't forget to pay. Do it for my wife.

It came back to me!

Who does Ivana, Tincho's new girl, look like?

What?

Is the water on?

Yeah.

Doesn't Ivana look just like that girl Capristo?

- From TV? - Yeah.

From when she was in Big Brother. She's identical to her!

Isn't she?

Isn't she, babe?

- I'm talking to you! - And I'm playing here.

That game is making you stupid.

Screw you.

This is my last season.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Yes? Positive?

Turn off the game, babe, this is serious stuff.

- I'll put the pasta in. - OK.

I love you, handsome.

MATCH DAY 10

How about a pub?

You need a bunch of money to set up a pub.

- And it's a lot of work. - Yeah.

I know: a chicken grillhouse.

- Really? - Of course not.

Silly.

Stand up.

Give me your hand.

There you go.

- What's up? - Let's slow dance.

Hair to hair.

- Grab it hard. - Don't make me bang you.

- You wish. - You know you want it.

How about selling crafts?

I'll get them cheap from Edu.

They serve warm beer in this pub.

I think you need a distraction.

I have one.

Cable TV, video games and pot.

I mean, something like Karate.

- Karate sucks. - At least try it.

- Not Karate. - Well, then try something else.

- I don't want to. - Remember that time with the injury.

Maybe. We'll see.

Gotta go to the bathroom.

Curly?

It's Dani.

What's up, you bandit!

That goalie was called...

- I can't remember. - Chichilo!

He went into politics. He made a fortune out of it.

No, that's not the one. I mean that one from class 77...

The one with the big nose.

Didn't you play for Temperley a while?

I wish. No, I never did.

They kicked me out.

I almost played for Claypole but it fell through.

Someone told me that.

They were wrong. Do you remember...

those three matches we played against Los Andes?

- Three matches on a row! - The things you remember!

I played for class 76 the entire match and the 2nd half for class 75.

I got it: Aniade!

Aniade! His chin used to go all the way down to his chest.

Toti's cousin.

- Right, Toti's cousin. - How's that scoundrel doing?

Didn't you hear?

He passed away two years ago.

A real bummer.

He left a wife and child behind.

Goddamn awful.