Hello, Universe!

ARIEL DASALAN, FORMER BASKETBALL STAR, TIME'S UP!

I need you to do your job, okay?

Don't forget about the shipment for tomorrow.

Got it?

It's my ass that's on the line.

Is that clear?

Are you listening?

You're stupid, aren't you?

See, you're not listening. This goddamned life.

Here, take it.

Go on.

Can't even drive.

So annoying.

Go, turn!

Guard him! Guard him!

Ref! You're going on eight seconds, not three!

Keep track!

Jesus!

Ref, the heck with your calls!

They all favor the other team!

You have a warning!

You'd better stop me! Stop me!

I'm gonna pinch his nipples with a nail clipper.

-Bro! Bro! Relax! -What is it?

We don't want a technical foul.

How could I relax?

Look at the score.

Stop me. Stop me!

Stop eating. Got it?

-Watch your diet. -I'm on keto.

-Wait. There's the ref. -Hang on.

He said time out. Time out.

Okay.

Guys, here's the plan.

Ball movement. Let's talk ball movement.

You.

Once you're in the backcourt,

be aware of the shot clock and spacing, okay?

If you are slow, you will be left behind.

That's the thing, Coach.

I gave her everything, but she still left me.

And you…

If they leave you, let them go.

Stop chasing after them!

She was so quick to move on, Coach.

She already found someone new.

I should start calling you Team Feels.

Where the hell is our point guard?

He should be carrying the ball.

Guys, sorry I'm late.

I haven't had proper sleep.

I was on duty last night.

-You're the point guard? -Yes, sir.

An actual guard.

-All right, move the ball. -Yes, Coach.

Guys, come here.

Listen.

All those strong feelings, use them!

Hear me? Take them out on the court.

Passion! Passion!

You can do it!

Okay?

Passion! On three!

-Passion! -Passion!

Look at the other team's players.

Are you gonna lose to a bunch of deadbeats?

They're just the bench players, Coach.

The starting five will enter.

Holy shit.

No wonder we're losing.

Look at those guys.

Have some faith, Coach.

You gave a great speech.

Passion!

-Fight! -Yes! That's the spirit!

But there's just three of them.

Where's the other two…

Coach! Coach!

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

We're done for.

We can catch up. No worries.

That's okay.

I should've just eaten.

That's enough.

You didn't guard the ball.

Dudes.

-Thank you. -Coach!

Thank you.

Thank you, idol.

You're so yummy, daddies! Wait for us!

Watch those hags go.

Hell, what are you grinning for?

Because you still got it!

What makes you say that? We just lost.

I was watching you.

While you were coaching, it was so smooth!

You're amazing!

Oh, shut up.

Do I really need another headache?

Never mind. I gave up this game a long time ago.

It just breaks my heart.

Speaking of which, check out this brawl.

Watch this.

-Is that a sex scandal? -No, no.

Look.

They're beating each other up.

Look, look!

It's this damn coach's fault.

That bastard Mac Morales.

This guy-- Ah, jeez!

Something's sketchy about this guy whenever I watch his games.

Look closely.

-Hey! -Hey!

-Where are we? -"Where are we?"

This is what I'm saying.

Move on.

You're doing it again.

You know what? Life is passing you by.

Forget about that Mac Morales.

This is your destiny.

Bro…

I think you're living a better life than him.

What the hell do you mean?

How is my life better than his?

Explain.

You have a wife and a kid who loves you.

-Ah, yes, that's true. -Right?

At work, you're the number one inspector

-for the fertilizer company. -Destino.

-And most importantly-- -There's more?

-There's more! -What else?

I'm your best friend.

I'm so unlucky.

-What'd you say? -Nothing. I'm so lucky to have you.

My man…

even in another lifetime, I'd always be here for you.

That's why I love you, man.

Then why'd you call me bad luck?

Come on, I was kidding.

What are you doing?

For good luck! Buddha.

Come on.

Love.

-Hi. -You're so early!

Wow, so sweet.

Annoyingly sweet.

Sorry.

You guys are so lucky.

Where can we find something like that anyway?

You know what, stop looking for it

-and it'll come on its own. -Right.

You never know, it might fall right on your lap tomorrow.

If only.

I sure hope it does.

Because…

-Because? -Feeling like a young man, you know.

So, where are you off to?

If you want, you guys can go ahead.

He's being sensitive again.

-My man! -Hey, man.

You're staring into space again.

Damn! Damn!

What is it? Hey!

You're ready for anything.

-Wow! Perfect. -How is it?

Is it just me or is she moving in slow motion?

-Give it a go. -Let me see.

I want the experience.

Is it slow motion for you, too?

God damn.

Beautiful?

-Beautiful. -Beautiful?

I'm toast.

-Beautiful? -I meant you.

You're beautiful!

I swear, you boys are such dogs.

Especially you.

I was looking at the pool. I don't know about him.

Why me?

I was just looking at the mountains by the pool--

I mean, the mountains over there.

I don't know what's wrong.

Isn't this a smart TV?

-What's wrong? -Black coffee,

no sugar, no milk, boiling hot.

My love's got me memorized.

-Of course. -Thank you.

Come on, work… Oh, I know, I know.

Probably…

This must be hot. I need to…

Ariel…

You're outdated.

-What do you mean? -Nobody uses that anymore!

When will you upgrade?

Even your phone is ancient!

You can watch it here, Pop.

I can watch there, sweetie?

For sure.