Adventures of Serial Buddies

The lawn mower really helps.

- Well... This is awkward.

Not an every day occurrence.

That's for sure.

- I suppose introductions are in order.

Gregory.

Gary.

Male narrator: And so began the warm story

Of how two serial killers became buddies.

Serial buddies.

Gregory von gearhart was a religious man.

He even called the church home...

Because it was.

He was a live-in maid.

It was spring break

And gregory couldn't wait to get his work done.

Father christopher was also excited...

Narrator: Because it meant a whole week without gregory.

Good morning, father.

May I present you with my farewell easter basket?

Wow, super.

Just put it with the others you made.

Narrator: Meanwhile, gary "big mac" macarelli

Was also going to work.

He was punctual, stylish,

And as one of the country's elite trophy makers,

He was proud to wear the colors.

Gary was also eager to finish work...

And head out on a spring break of his own.

Hey, chief.

Maria.

- No, no. It's still a college ring.

Yep.

Okay.

Ring, ring.

I'll get it.

Hello? Gregory speaking.

Oh, hi, jesus, how are you?

You like my easter baskets?

You want me to make more?

I'll be sure to let them know.

Oh, and good luck with the ascension.

All right, bye-bye now.

- Chief, I blew the mothballs off the old spring break jumper.

How do you like me now?

- Father, I know you and the other parishioners

Desperately want me to stay,

But I'm afraid I'm under strict orders

To begin my pilgrimage.

- The church doesn't send people on pilgrimages.

Is that my stole?

Just in time.

Gary, this is my nephew.

He wants to break into the trophy business.

- My dad finally signed my permission slip.

- Father, you know I fully respect the church.

Why, as an altar boy, I was practically raised

By the wandering, loving hands of priests.

But I'm afraid...

I don't work for the church.

I work for god.

- I'm hoping you'll be my mentor.

Gramps says you're the best ever.

Kravello was the best ever.

- One and two, and one and two, and turn.

Narrator: And that's when fate stepped in

In the form of a news report.

I'm emily frances.

Controversy is brewing

At laconia's annual springle bell toy run

For underprivileged youth.

In attendance at next week's event

Will be infamous motorcycle outlaw

Ralph "big chicken" morelli.

Recently paroled, big chicken led

The chelsea white devils in their heyday

When the gang, or "club," rivaled the hell's angels.

The white devils are expected to have gathered the most toys,

With big chicken receiving the event's top trophy.

Narrator: Clearly, the buddies

Had different reasons for killing.

One thing was for sure:

They both were determined to get big chicken.

Spring break had officially begun.

Along the way,

Gregory came upon a haunted house of all things.

To gregory, haunted houses

Were just the devil's playground,

And someone would have to pay.

Meanwhile, gary came upon a vehicle

Owned by a multi-sport athlete.

Narrator: And this brings us back to the woods,

Where our newly acquainted serial buddies

Were burying their respective kills.

Both: I was just--

You go first.

- Just a little me time after the lenten madness.

- I'm on spring break from work too.

Headed up to laconia... For toy run.

- Well, this just gets crazier and crazier.

I'm headed to the springle bell toy run as well.

- Well, I guess I'll just dig my hole then.

Oh, don't be silly.

There's--there's plenty of room for two.

- Sir, you forgot your wallet.

I'm sorry I followed you.

- You're gonna pay for this, rookie!

- I won't say anything! I swear!

- Back off, civilian. This doesn't concern you.

- My goodness, you're not going

To kill the poor lad, are you?

Back off I said!

So you want me to be your mentor?

You wanna be my intern?

You do everything I say from this moment forward.

Pick up that shovel.

Now March!

He won't say a word.

That is, if he wants me to be his mentor.

- I don't understand. - You wouldn't.

The intern-mentor relationship

Is a sacred bond to we old school trophy makers,

Forged centuries before you were even born.

Oh.

Castoreum.

It keeps animals from digging up the remains.

Whoop.

Beavers secrete it from their castor glands

To repel predators.

It's a wonderful fertilizer too, however.

Which keeps the whole process green.

- Are you one of them scientific geniuses or something?

- Well, if you consider being a summa cum laude

From harvard university a genius, then perhaps I am.

But a scientist? A darwinian?

Heavens no. I am a man of god.

Oh.

- Now I'm sorry, but in all this confusion,

I didn't catch your name.

- Oh-- - that's 'cause he only speaks

When spoken to.

Well, I just spoke to him.

I don't need that on me.

I don't need that on me!

Quit it!

That's it, I'm out of here.

I gotta get to the springle bell toy run

And take out big chicken.

Wait, gary, hold up.

Did I just hear you say "big chicken"?

As in big chicken, evil outlaw just released from prison?

As in big chicken,

Predicted to win the springle bell toy run.

Oh, gary.

We should work together.

We--we do the same work.

We have the same spring break.

And we're both off to laconia

To take out big chicken.

And we've been given an intern.

Oh.

- Me spend my spring break with a rookie?

Yeah, right.