Fright Night 2: New Blood

- (SOFT SNARLING) - (GASPS)

- (ROARING) - (SCREAMING)

- (SNARLING, GROWLING) - (SCREAMING)

Help me! Anyone!

Help me!

Anyone!

Hey! Hey!

- (SNIFFLES) - (DIALS PHONE)

- (SNARLS) - (SCREAMING)

What are you waiting for?

- Amy - Hi.

- So... Romania, huh? - Yeah, Romania.

Just like we planned.

Yeah, I guess some plans do work out.

Listen, Amy, I wanted to talk to you...

Charley, we're not gonna do this here, OK?

What's done is done. You've just got to move on.

Are you ever gonna trust me again?

I need to check into my room.

Hey, wait.

I, uh...

I bought you these.

Charley.

That's really nice.

I really need to check into my room.

Relax, Charley.

You know what they say, "When in Romania," right?

It's Rome, Evil.

"When in Rome." You dumb-ass.

Hey.

You coming on the Bloodsucker Blues Tour with me tonight?

Bloodsucker what?

Midnight tours of all the castles

rumored to be the lairs of the original vampires.

The Cachtice, the Bran, the Poenari, the Hunyad, the Orava.

- First one's tonight. - I guess it could be kind of cool.

Attaboy.

We need a night out on the town, now that you're single again.

- I'm not single. - She forgave you?

- For cheating on her? - I didn't cheat on her.

Hey, didn't one of her friends see you kissing another girl

- then text Amy... - Drop it, Ed.

Just sayin'.

Looks like the Dynamic Duo's together again.

- Great. - And don't lose these.

There's a $50 replacement fee.

Check out the blood bags on that, Brewster. (LAUGHS)

Ooh! (LAUGHS)

On this week's episode of Fright Night:

This building became the centerpiece for the Nazis' obsession with the paranormal

when occult researchers discovered a prehistoric monster.

This dilapidated Nazi insane asylum

was home to one of the most notorious monsters in history.

You know, out of respect,

I'm gonna give it a week,

then I'm gonna try my hardest to tap that.

Ch, yeah?

Oh, wait. Wait, wait.

Tap that.

Free market, bro.

Hey, Ed, check this out!

Ed! Hey, Ed, come quick!

- What the fuck? - Quick!

Look!

Whoa...

Stonework... on an old building.

- Imagine that. - Wha...?

Down in the lobby in ten minutes, boys.

First class at the university is tonight.

Sir, yes, sir.

Hey, want to know what I'm watching?

Uh, a sex tape your mom made?

Ha! Yeah, very funny, bitch.

I'm watching an old episode of Fright Night.

- Want to know why? - Not really. No.

In the honor of reality TV monster hunter extraordinaire,

Peter Vincent.

He who has no fright of the night.

And according to his Twitter,

he's in Romania as we speak filming a new episode.

On this week's episode of Fright Night:

I find myself all alone inside the infamous Poenari Castle.

Home of Vlad the Impaler, aka... Dracula.

Many historians have tried to find the unmarked grave

where Vlad Tepes...

...allegedly rests.

- But to no avail. - (LOW GROWLING)

So legend has it

that a vampire still haunts the halls of this ancient castle.

- There once... - (LOW GROWLING)

What was that?

There's something in here with me and it just took off.

I'm gonna turn the light on on my camera mount...

...and get a better view.

- (WHOOSHING SOUND) - Ah! Cut!

Get your shit together, people!

How many times do I have to tell you

to stay away from the fucking camera, huh?

I mean, there's only one... Stop that! There's only one.

How hard can it be? How hard can it be?

Give me that. Turn the light off.

- Are we ready? Yes.

Shut up. And... action.

I swear I saw her.

Sorry, dude. I didn't see no MILF at the window.

Whatever.

Free market, bro. (CHUCKLES)

What? I'm kidding. Chill.

- Asshole. - Don't get upset. Geez.

What happened? The lights are off.

What's that for?

- (OMINOUS THEME MUSIC PLAYS) What's going on?

Oh, my God.

What the fuck?

A y, caramba!

That's our professor?

- (MUSIC FADES) - Hello, everyone.

- My name is Gerri Dandridge, - Hey, Gerri...

and I'm the visiting professor at this university.

Over the next week that you are here I want to give you an overview

of the history of European aft,

a history that is riddled with blood and madness,

brilliance and glory.

A history that, when I am through with you,

you will feel as though you have actually lived through it.

Ready to begin?

Please follow me.

This is very interesting.

Now, believe it or not,

the most famous vampire of all,

Bram Stoker's Dracula was actually...

...a woman.

Yes?

I thought Bram Stoker based Dracula on Vlad the Impaler.

In pan, yes.

But why, if there are no accounts of Vlad drinking blood,

does Stoker's Dracula consume blood

and then seem to appear younger after doing so?

- Elizabeth Bathory. - AKA... Countess Dracula.

I'm gonna find a bathroom and get a drink of water.

- I'm wiped. - Now we should move on.

The next story is even more interesting.

Elizabeth Béthory buried her victims,

who were mostly adolescent peasant virgins,

in graveyards and other unknown locations.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, baby.

Oh, God. (LAUGHS)

Oh...

Charley.

- Charley. - Oh!

- Are you OK? - Yeah.

I was just, uh... still searching for the bathroom.

Yeah, well, tour's over. We should get going.

Yeah. OK.

Down in the lobby in half an hour, boys.

First class of the day is at 8:00 a.m.

- (EVIL YAWNS) - (CUCKOO CLOCK SOUNDS)

Van Gogh's paintings show him identifying with his subjects

so deeply they merge into one identity.

A single image of multiple people,

he turns into them, and they turn into him.

In his desire to transcend time and place,

he chooses a palette so vivid,

it burns into the spectator's memory

and remains within him forever.

- (SNIFFING) - Hey!

Yes, Mr. Brewster?

I, um...

Like what you saw last night, Charley?

Are we keeping you from your beauty sleep, Mr. Brewster?

You didn't answer my question.

Excuse me?

I know you liked what you saw.

As with the self-portrait van Gogh dedicated to Paul Gauguin,

his face morphs into an almost Buddhist monk-like appearance.

- Is everything OK? - Yeah.

Yeah, I think so.

I, um...

I bought you...

I bought you these.